Saturday, August 11, 2007

The fat one.

My therapist likes me.

Okay, I know that's probably like the most MAJOR sign that I'm really f-ed up. That I actually CARE that my therapist likes me. But I do.

I like him too. He didn't even get mad at me when I lamented how sad it was that I had to pay him to be my friend.

One of the reasons he likes me, I think, is that I make his job really easy. See, I went in there KNOWING I was f-ed up. He totally didn't even have to tell me. I was all like, "This and this and especially this are wrong with me. I need you to tell me how to fix it." And then we talked and he's all like, "You are so right. This and this and ESPECIALLY this are so wrong about you." Then I felt smart.

Like the other day? I got really annoyed at work. And not for the usual reasons like that everyone is being a tool or dressing like a porn star. But because they were talking about lunch. Specifically, what they were going to eat for lunch. At like, 10am.

They kept talking and talking and talking about it. "What are you going to have?" "Where are we going to go?" "Do you want to go?" "Should we ask Cletus if he wants to go?" Good God!

Then I was like, oh. This is what normal people do. They eat lunch. They don't have major food issues like you do. You are the one who is messed up here, not them.

Then I felt proud again. I still wished they would shut up and do some actual work though.

So the other day, I was telling him about a situation with someone who shall remain nameless (but might be my only sibling without a vagina) and how much this person pissed me off. About how we were watching a television program on which four or five plus-sized women who were scantily clad were dancing around (it was some talent-show type program that I don't watch normally) and he made some really ugly and hurtful comments about those women.

In front of me. The fat sister.

More importantly? In front of his 13 year old daughter. Who is plus-sized as well. Who's sweet little face got redder and redder the more he talked. Who already has food issues. Who had to sit there and listen to her only freaking male role model on this planet say he thought she was ugly and someone who deserved to be made fun of.

And what did I do? Nothing. I got up and walked away.

Because I was angry. Not only for me, but for Niece Child.

And I was telling my therapist, we'll call him Big Jim, about it. I was all like, "Big Jim, it made me so mad! And I did nothing! I have this huge problem with doing absolutely nothing all the time, even when I know I should."

And he said, thoughtfully, "Chick, would it have done you any good to say something?"

And I said, "Well NO."

And then we both laughed. A lot.

Because my therapist likes me. Even though I'm the fat sister.

17 comments:

Blue Momma said...

I'm the fat sister, too. To hell with them all!

nailgirl said...

I'm the fat sister, but I would have so gone off!

Britmum said...

OMG I am so the fat sister to my brother. I mean he has a belly the size of Alaska but men get away with that shit. Its not fair.

Now I am going to go off and pout and eat roast potatoes. lol

You are wonderful Chick and I meant to post a comment about your beautiful baby niece. She does look like you. How cool is that.

Take care and hugs xx

Dawn~a~Bon said...

You're the hot sister.

frannie said...

it doesn't do any good to say it to him, but you can always try to counter the effects with neice child. she deserves to have a positive role model.

poor kid.

Angie said...

Well, I'm the fat sister too. . . although not by that much. But, I know where you're coming from.

It's interesting you are mentioning this tonight, because I just came from a family gathering with said sibling (I only have one) where other family members were making fun of developmentally disabled people.

Hello? Your niece / cousin / granddaughter / sister (and most importantly - MY DAUGHTER) is one of those people?!?!? I'm amazed. Not surprised.

Amazed.

Sarcastic Housewife said...

I've been fat most of my life. It is only within in the last 10 years that I'm even close to a normal weight for my height and this is only because my back is so bad. One of my teachers told my mother she was stunned I had such high self-esteem, cause she is so fat. My mom, bless her soul, said really, she hadn't noticed I was fat. Then she told the teacher to bascially shove it. My mom is dead now, but she never told me I couldn't do anything because I was fat. Heck, she let me try out for cheerleading even though I'm pretty sure she knew I wouldn't make it.

How very sad for your niece. It breaks my heart when adults do that kind of stuff. They should know better. They certainly wouldn't go up to a person with Down's Syndrome and remark about how retarded they were.

Emma in Canada said...

I'm the fat sister too. In fact I am the only fat member of my family. It sucks. Though I have to say he would never put down overweight people in front of me.

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

Ugh. The fat topic. Everyone in my mother's family is obese. My sister is a stick. That makes me the fat sister. I'm not obese, but I'm defo the fat sister. Fortunately, my sister would never make derogatory comments about my weight. Luckily, we don't have a brother. But if we did, and he said something like that, I would defo say something to him. What? I dunno - but sumthin' would come flying outta my mouth for sure.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

I think you need to write your book before Big Jim does.
'Cause seriously? You're gonna be famous.

It seems that most of my life, God has been teaching me to see people the way He sees them. God looks at your heart.

That said, I dunno about the other stuff, but I think you are awesome and fun and funny and You absolutely ROCK!

I'm proud to know you.

Blessings!

SJ said...

This is a very touchy subject for me because I know where you are coming from....

People can just be rude sometimes, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

So with that said, you are an excellent role model, just keep that in mind. And of course, we all LOVE you!

Heathie said...

Just coming out of Lurkdom to say a big AMEN to what Frannie said. I agree that it probably wouldn't have done any good to say anything to your brother at the time, but maybe on a separate occasion you could chat with Neice Child. And maybe on yet another separate occasion, you could smack Brother upside the head, 'cause sometimes siblings just need that.

Amira said...

Big Jim knows a great Chick when he meets one.

And your niece is gonna need props from you.

EE said...

What an ass.
I know what show you're talking about, and I think those girls rock!!!!

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

Big Jim is right. It wouldn't have done a bit of good to say something to him.

But you can totally counter your sibling's effect on Neice Child's self-esteem. You can be there for her and lift her up.

That's way better than getting into a pissing match with a giant child any day.

Kellie said...

Your brother is clearly a douche nozzle. You clearly kick it.

Rachel said...

Your brother obviously needs to be kicked in the nutsack!