I haven't even been to Disneyworld (ONLY FIFTY-SIX DAYS AWAY!!) yet, and I'm already obsessed with next year. When we'll buy our new house.
I know our budget and I know the generalish area we will look. I have a rough idea of how much we'll get for this house (if we can keep the douchebags out of the street while people are looking at it, that is). And? I know exactly what I want. Which is a basement rancher.
Or? A split-level.
With a backyard. A fenced backyard so the Wonder Dog can run amok.
And, a pool. If you have it.
Here's the thing, though. There are dozens and dozens of houses in our price range. I mean, tons. We are probably in the best price range for looking, judging by sheer volume. There are homes in our range that are brand new and there are homes that are 100 years old.
Jason wants one brand new. I want one more like thirty years old. Well, I don't have a specific home picked out or anything, but the basement ranchers I've been obsessing over online tend to be around 16-30 years old.
The brand new houses in our price range? They are lovely. But they are also on postage-stamp sized lots and RIGHTNEXTDOOR to the next house. And? They don't have a basement.
My beloved has a lot of absolutely enormous furnishings. The desk we have? Takes up 1/2 of our living room. He had this thing in his BEDROOM in an 800 square foot condo. It's gigantic. And...I hate it. I've been trying to sell it to various people since I met him.
Also? He has a 75 gallon fishtank. We ignore every fish in it. They are not pets. They are just really wet decorations.
And? He has a ginormous entertainment center. And a file cabinet. And speakers far larger than even my ass.
Have I mentioned the 200 pieces of clothing that no longer fit him and the huge backpack and camping equipment that is currently hiding in my son's bedroom because he wouldn't think of putting it in the storage space? Oh, and the Total Gym that's he used once in the eight years since I've known him.
And this? Is after I threw away about hinty billion items when he moved to Tennessee and I was still in North Carolina.
So he has a lot of crap. And I'm having a hard time convincing him to get rid of any of it.
I also am having a hard time convincing him that we NEED MORE SPACE. So buying a house the same size as we currently have would defeat the purpose, unless he's willing to get rid of, um, everything he owns.
Which he doesn't seem to be.
Really, I'm very sweet to him. I can't think of anything naughty I can do that I don't already do. Crying doesn't work with him. Nor do threats.
Any advice? I really need either/or to work here and I'm just not good at persuasion.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
16 comments:
Sorry Chick, but he's guy.
We guys need our stuff.
The stuff is not as important as you and he DOES love you more than any of his stuff.
But a guy needs his stuff.
We may not think about it, but we all need to have the confidence in knowing that, many years down the road, at a backyard Bar-B-Q at someone's home, talking to another guy (who we probably don't even like) and that guy mentions something about his "stuff" and we need to be able to say, "Oh yeah, I've got one of those".
There's really no explaination for this. It's just one of those things in life that "just is".
Sorry, but it is hard for a guy to part with his "stuff".
Blessings.
Luckily (or unluckily?) my hubby came straight from his mommy's house so other than a few crappy beer mirrors and one of those electricty/orb things, had nothing but his clothes. (I got rid of most of the clothes too!). Anyway, can't comment on the stuff issue, other than to fall back on the old feminine trick of withholding sex until you get your way!
But the house? Who is going to do the updating on the 30 year old one? Him? If so, then he should get to pick. If it's you, or you agree to pay someone else, they of course, the wife is always right!
Or the house two doors down from me is for sale. It's 10 years old so it would be a compromise between new and really old. I'll be waiting...
Buy a storage shed for his things for the backyard. However, HIRE someone to put it together before you even purchase it or you will end up with half a storage shed in your backyard and various parts all over the place and the instructions long lost.
Also, have you been to Disney World before? If not, you might look into ANY place else in Florida, as my 13 year old son went earlier this summer and had an awful time...said it wasn't fun at all...
Do what I've been doing for 16 years. When he's away on a business trip - weed a few things out. Here and there. Especially things he never uses that you know he's really really never ever going to even look at again except when you move house.
My husband hasn't even noticed all the horrible clothes he used to own - that he no longer owns.
You have to just take matters into your own hands. 'Cept maybe for the fish tank and any item you know would completely freak him out. I said 'completely'. Freak out is expected, ;).
Good luck Chick!! I'm rooting for you here --- and totally sympathetic to your cause and plight; my husband shipped boxes of WIRE back from the Middle East when we relocated. Oh, and his work bench (I'll post a photo of it sometime, coz when you see it, you'll totally see why I mention it) even though we already have one here. I'll shut up now, or I rant. Or something.
Oh, and I'm kinda with you on the older house. They have more character and charm. Plus they're usually well settled. Good luck with the house hunting. I really hope you find something you both equally like!!
I'd try the old bribe him with the potential for "more stuff" angle. Huge yard for manly BBQ potential. Basement for big screen TV, pool table...
The stuff doesn't have to be bought and purchased or anything. Just the idea of it might catch his attention.
I vote for sending him away for a long week-end. Someplace fun for him. And then taking matters into your own hands. Maybe he will have enough fun on his trip that he will forgive you. Maybe...HAHA. I'm pretty militant when it comes to clutter, so my hubby knows any useless stuff is subject to my ruthless purging. He has gotten used to it.
No advice, as my husband is a bit of a pack rat as well. But I did have to tell you how hilarious I thought the fish as wet decorations was! We don't have any anymore, but that's exactly how I felt about them!!
tell him to think of all the money it will fetch on Craig's list!
I have the same problem. Ugh, aggrivating. My secret? I either get rid of some stuff, little by little, when he's not home (I know dishonest!) OR- I tell him if he'll get rid of something I dislike, I'll get rid of something he dislikes. Normally, that works.
I like houses that are a bit older...better construction. More charm. Not a cookie cutter of every other damn house on the street.
Unfortunately? Jason's stuff? Won't be going anywhere. Buy a cool shed, put it out back and tra-la....Jason's House O' Crap. At least that way he's keeping his stuff, it's not IN your house and then? You tell him by moving the old stuff to the House O' Crap, and buying a bigger house? He can accumulate NEW crap. But really? That'll never happen. He'll like not having crap everywhere.
I think, judging from this crazy long comment that I like the word crap. Crap. Crapbag.
I'm sorry. I'll go away now.
I'll take some pictures of my in-laws' house for you to show him what happens when you hang on to too much junk for too long. They have a *Five Bedroom* basement rancher that is "too small" for the two of them and their two dogs. Why? The same things you described: clothes, gym equipment (we keep asking if we can have it, and they say no--they *might* use it some day), all kinds of stuff they Never Use! I really think a picture of that sort of scenario might scare Jason into submission. Every time I go over there, I want to go home and clean my house and get rid of things.
You will spend more time in the new house, so you get to decide what it looks like. If Jason wants to live in said house, he needs to get rid of crap. If he doesn't follow the rules, just decide what is crap, tell him that's the special box for the movers & take it to Goodwill. Feign ignorance when he asks where it went. If he ever does. Mine only recently asked where his favorite red shirt went. And, I said, "You mean the one I threw away three years ago?"
Perhaps I should send you the sex toys I won at BlogHer.
Good luck Chick with this one.....it's a battle I've fought long and hard and have never, ever won.
I feel for you....
I think CPA Mom might be on to something here.
Post a Comment