I'm weird. It's okay.

The lovely and talented AnnieBoops tagged me with this meme. Go visit her and tell her mom and them I said, "WHASSUP!"

Or don't. Either way.

Anyway. The meme:

1. What kind of SOAP is in your bathtub right now?
Handsoap? Whatever was on sale at Kroger. Alternately, whatever I had a coupon for last time I went to Kroger. I think it's SoftSoap. In the shower I have Bath and Body Works SweetPea. All for me! Jason, for whatever reason, is not interested in smelling like a girl. Go figure!

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?

It's October. No.

3. What would you change about your living room?

My beloved has the desk that ate Denver and it takes up like half of our living room. I hate it with the fiery passion of...Marc Anthony and J Lo. Or whatever. I hate it.

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?

Clean. But it's only about 1/2 full because I haven't properly unloaded it. And? I have a full load to run.

5. What is in your fridge?

Some dinners I made at Dream Dinners on Saturday, milk, water, fruit cups, yogurt of all types, carrots, various Pillsbury bread products, butter, condiments of all kinds, and Root beer. I'm out of Diet Pepsi. GAH.

6. White or wheat bread?

Whole wheat.

7. What is on top of your refrigerator?

About a metric ton of dust.

8. What color or design is on your shower curtain?

A pretty blue and white pattern in one bathroom and purple stripes in the other.

9. How many plants are in your home?

3. Two cacti and one pretty plant in my bedroom. I have no idea what the one in my bedroom is. I just bought it because it was pretty and I'm shallow.

10. Is your bed made right now?

Only if Jason made it this morning. I never make the bed!

11. Comet or Soft Scrub?

Comet.

12. Is your closet organized?

Yes. But it is still messy.

13. Can you describe your flashlight?

It's a big one. Black, holds like 11 hundred batteries.

Unless this is, as Annie suspected, something sexual. Then? I'm not telling you.

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?

Whatever is clean.

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?

I am the only Southern person on the planet that doesn't like iced tea.

16. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?

No garage. Boo!

17. Curtains or blinds?

Blinds on all windows. Curtains in the bedrooms along with the blinds.

18. How many pillows do you sleep with?

About sixty. Give or take about fifty-five.

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?

I sleep with the television on. Does that count?

20. How often do you vacuum?

I have a Dyson. It's an addiction. I vacuum sometimes twice a day!

21. Standard toothbrush or electric?

Standard.

22. What color is your toothbrush?

Pink and purple? I think? I throw it out every 30 days, so I think that's the most current.

23. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?

Of course! But it's just a pattern. It doesn't say welcome. I don't like guests.

No, just kidding.

I'm SELECTIVE about liking guests though.

24. What is in your oven right now?

Nothing. We had mexican food for dinner since it's my birthday.

25. Is there anything under your bed?

An empty box. I have no idea why.

26. Chore you hate doing the most?

I think I pretty much hate all chores. Unless things like running around go, "BLAH! BLAH!" are chores. That? I like to do.

27. What retro items are in your home?

I have an old-fashioned phone with big bells on the top.

28. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?

I wish.

29. How many mirrors are in your home?

Four

30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?

There's about 70 cents in a bowl on top of the microwave. Las Vegas, here we come!

31. What color are your walls?

Every single wall in my house is white.

32. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?

Jason has several guns but I don't know anything about them. I'm not interested, really.

I have mad Ninja skilz. I have fists of death! Or something!

33. What does your home smell like right now?

Nothing that I can tell. Just normal.

34. Favorite candle scent?

Missy May Moo (inside joke which I hope she remembers from like, 2003) gave me a coffee candle a few years ago that I loooooove. Almost as much as I looooooove her! Go visit her and tell her son and them I said, "What-what!"

She loves how gangsta I am!

35. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?

I have none. No one in my house likes pickles except for me.

36. What color is your favorite Bible?

I just have one. It's burgundy.

37. Ever been on your roof?

A million times, but not in this house.

38. Do you own a stereo?

I own a car. It has a stereo.

Jason has a ginormous stereo in the house. I hate it.

39. How many TVs do you have?

Four.

40. How many house phones?

2 and the cordless one hasn't worked in like, a month.

41. Do you have a housekeeper?

Yes! His name is Jason.

42. What style do you decorate in?

College-dorm/I have two kids and not enough time/I'm not freaking Design Star/Chic

43. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?

Solids

44. Is there a smoke detector in your home?

Yeah, two.

45. In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?

Boy Child, Girl Child, Jason and Ginger. Everything else is just stuff.


If you would like to do this meme, help yourself!