Sunday, December 23, 2007

For the love of Dads.

Church was interesting today.


I expected we would talk about the birth of Christ. The virgin Mary. Possibly cattle lowing. I don't know.


But instead we talked about Joseph. And in doing so, about fathers in general.


I don't know my own father very well. He's still alive and we talk, but I don't see him very often. Most of my life he was at work. I don't blame or fault him for this. After all, he had to support six people and it couldn't have been easy.


I know my father is a good man. I know that he's a hard worker and I'd like to think I took that after him. I know that he loves his family and adores his grandchildren. I know that genuinely, really tries to do the right thing all the time. I've never heard him say a swear word, ever. I've only seen him cry once, and that was when his own father died.


I have regret that I don't know him very well. I have hope that it's not too late.


My husband does not have that luxury, and at one point I felt myself choking up a bit to think of him, as a little boy, with no father. Worse, he had a father at one point, one who presumably loved him very much, but not enough to stay away from drugs. Drugs were his downfall and drugs were the reason he was murdered. The reason my husband has no father and I have no father-in-law.


I have trouble imagining Jason as a little boy. The pictures I have are scant and I never had them, even, until earlier this year. It feels like such a hole, not knowing.


I wondered too, about this man, my husband, and the decision he made to marry me. A woman with two children.


Becoming a mother was huge to me. It was something I can never, ever adequately explain in words what it meant to me, what it means to me, and how it changed my life.


He walked in and they were already there. The decision was made. Loving me meant loving them.


Part of me understands. I mean, come on. We're totally fabulous. Who wouldn't want to hang with us?


But part of me admires the heck out of him, and all the step-dads (and moms!) , who look at the situation and say, "It's not your fault that the people in your life who should be there for you suck. You deserve more than that."


He deserved more than that too.


I hope we give it to him. In spades.

16 comments:

Angie said...

Oh my friend. . you do. You three give Jason so much love and joy. It's evident in this picture. . .and in the simple, precious stories you tell.

I pray that you guys will have an absolutely phenomenal Christmas. And, I pray that in 2008, you will receive some form of payback for all the joy that YOU bring to so many of us who have never met you, except in cyberspace.

Merry Merry!!!

frannie said...

Jason is a very lucky man-- just as his family is lucky to have him.

Tulip Girl said...

The four of you are amazing people. I believe God brought you and Jason together so that you could become the amazing family that you are today. Your children have wonderful examples of what a husband, wife and parents should be. Keep up the good work!

Kellie said...

You so give it to him in spades timex infinity!! All four of you are awesome!!

stepmomof2 said...

Beautiful post! My husband has a father who is still living, but hasn't seen him since he was around two years old! My dad's father died when he was six years old so I never knew him either. Jason seems like a wonderful man and father; you guys are a beautiful family that was meant to be together :-)

janet said...

i too already had a built-in family when i met my husband. it is a special person who takes on a woman AND her children and loves them all. you (and i) are very lucky.

Sue said...

Sniff. Wonderful. Love is awesome. Merry, Merry Christmas!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Yep. I was right.

You are totally freakin' awesome!

Merry Christmas, Chick.

JUST A MOM said...

I think that was very nice

everaftermyway said...

What a wonderful loving post!

I am Trish Marie said...

Do you just want to sit back, watch your husband and children together, and pinch yourself to make sure it is real? I feel that way about my Kenny. Sometimes, I don't know if the situation were reversed, if I would be as wonderful of a step-parent. It takes a very special person. Jason, obviously, falls into that category.

Heather said...

beautiful

SJ said...

I would say you do! Look at the smiles on those faces.

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

It's sad when those who are supposed to love and mentor us aren't there -- or worse, don't want to be (I'm thinking of my own mother on that last one). But it's amazing how God puts others in our path who more than make up for it.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Chick and family. And, God bless you all! xox

CPA Mom said...

well said Chick, well said. Jason is a very lucky man. AND a great dad.

Rachel said...

i have a feeling that you give way more than you know.

Sweet post, Chick!

My word verification is: mobud, teehee.

Cuz in Memphis bud=weed.