Who wants to see the Google searches that recently led people to my blog? I do! I do!
“Slave wife blog”
This one is probably the least funny, but it made me laugh the hardest.
Really. It’s not funny. Slavery is illegal.
Except if you are someone’s love slave. That’s okay I think.
I hope so anyway.
“400 pound girl on Maury”
It wasn’t me!
“God loves even you, Jason”
Even you and your bald head, honey.
“I’m cheating on my husband”
I’ll straighten your ass out too. Especially if you are cheating on your husband.
“Obese woman with six kids”
Hey! I only have two kids! Douchebag.
“I don’t care who you are Jason”
I don’t care who are, that’s funny right there.
But I care deeply about who he is, in fact.
Apparently, so does Jesus. He loves even you.
“doesn’t want to marry me”
See, this could be good or bad. If say, Michael Vick doesn’t want to marry you? You could be all like, “Woo! YEAH!” But if it’s your boyfriend of thirty-six years that you have eleven children with and you really, really, really want to get married and he doesn’t? Then you should go out with someone else.
“my wife is fat and ugly”
That’s not very nice. I’ll be by to straighten your ass out later.
“fat bitch annoying”
You can just call me Chick.