Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Around our house.

Chick: So? Did you make any New Years resolutions?
Jason: Yes.
Chick, surprised: Really?
Jason: Yes. I want to not smoke anywhere near the children anymore.
Chick: You don't smoke near the children already, so that doesn't count.
Jason: No, I don't want them to ever SEE me smoking. Because smoking is bad and I don't want them to do it.
Chick: So you think smoking is bad, huh?
Jason: Obviously.
Chick: Then why do you smoke so much?
Jason, rolling his eyes.
Chick: Ooh! OOH! How about this? Maybe your New Years resolution could be to quit smoking!
Jason: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.



Approximately 10 minutes later.

Jason, standing by the door with this head outside, smoking.

Enter Boy and Girl Child.

Girl Child: DAD! You are on DRUGS!
Jason: What?
Boy Child: IT'S TRUE! YOU ARE ON DRUGS!
Jason: WHAT?
Girl Child: Cigarettes have drugs in them! You know! Nickelodeon? That's a DRUG!
Chick: That's a television network. No one is addicted to Spongebob Squarepants, honey. That's just wrong.
Boy Child: IT'S TRUE!
Chick: Nicotine? Is that what you mean?
Boy Child: IT'S TRUE!
Girl Child: That's what I said! Nickleback!



Five minutes later.

Chick: Hey Jason? Remember your New Years resolution?
Jason: No.
Chick: Seriously?
Jason: No. What was it?
Chick: We talked about this fifteen minutes ago and already you've forgotten?
Jason: Just tell me what it was.
Chick: To not SMOKE in front of the children?
Jason: Oh.

A moment passes, as he reflects on this.

Jason: I guess I screwed that up, huh?
Chick: EPIC. FAIL.

29 comments:

Heather said...

Being addicted to Spongebeb IS worng. Sadly, my husband and children ARE!

Kimberlie said...

That's funny!

Kellie said...

I'm not sure which is funner: the Nickelodeon or the Nickelback comment or Jason fogetting in 15 minutes what his goal was :)

Catwoman said...

The whole post? Hilarious!

Although, I'm addicted to Nickelback. How could you not? They're Canadian AND they rock!

Kimberly said...

So funny and so not funny all in the same moment. Weirdness! And yes, Nickelback totally rock.

Sleeping Mommy said...

Nickelodeon can be a drug. Seriously. Have you seen some of the shows on it? It the network isn't a drug then most everyone on it is ON drugs.

Poor Jason. the oxygen deprivation caused by smoking has clearly affected his short term memory retention.

stepmomof2 said...

Hilarious! You guys just crack me up!

Jenty said...

LOL!! That was funny! Nickelback and nichelodeon?!!

Shari said...

Thanks for the giggle and Happy New Year!!!!

lisa's chaos said...

Funny! My son once told a me a stranger was doing drugs, load enough the guy could hear and while I apologized, he laughed and said he understood.

Angie said...

HEEEEEEEELarious!

So glad you're going to do this every day! :)

Joy T. said...

I am so glad I can read that other men are....well....men. We still love them but oh lordy those...men!

Squishy Tushy said...

Just the other day my 3-year-old told me she wants to grow up to be a smoker, just like her Daddy. GAH! And here we thought he DID hide!

Tulip Girl said...

This is a great post! I really needed to laugh today!

Thanks!!!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Yay Chick!!

Score:
Chick 1
Jason 0

SJ said...

haha, that got an audible chuckle out of me!

Lisa said...

Girl Child made me snort. In front of my husband. (Are you sure she is not related somehow to George W Bush...some sort of recessive malapropism gene - or as they might say "mallpoopgizmo gene")

katydidnot said...

that is utter perfection.

Marianne Arkins said...

Oh, so funny.... kids will always tell it like it is. Gotta love the little buggers.

Happy New Year!

Jessica said...

too funny--thanks for sharing!!

Dawn~a~Bon said...

EPIC FAIL! LMAO!

Morgan Leigh said...

Fail. Haha. That's funny. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Nickelodeon!" teeheehee.

And for the record, Spongebob is just as addicting as smoking.

Robyn said...

It's the thought that counts...right? ummm..right???

But..I am hooked on spongebob squarepants. I wonder if there's a 3 step program for that.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I keep telling you you need to copyright those kids. Just stick that c in a circle on a right butt cheek right now. You'll make a fortune.

Rachel said...

Holy crap that was hilarious!!!!!!

JUST A MOM said...

HAHAHAH I will say this..... he will not quit untill HE is ready... I so know it.. after 30something years I said THAT IS IT.


I went to a hypno lady worked great..... good luck

Edie said...

At least he got that failure out of the way already! ;)

my4kids said...

Oh God your children make me laugh! Nickleback and Nickelodean drugs! hehe I had to laugh....

EE said...

Chick...I'm totally laughing my butt off! I love your family!