Chick: So? Did you make any New Years resolutions?
Jason: Yes.
Chick, surprised: Really?
Jason: Yes. I want to not smoke anywhere near the children anymore.
Chick: You don't smoke near the children already, so that doesn't count.
Jason: No, I don't want them to ever SEE me smoking. Because smoking is bad and I don't want them to do it.
Chick: So you think smoking is bad, huh?
Jason: Obviously.
Chick: Then why do you smoke so much?
Jason, rolling his eyes.
Chick: Ooh! OOH! How about this? Maybe your New Years resolution could be to quit smoking!
Jason: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Approximately 10 minutes later.
Jason, standing by the door with this head outside, smoking.
Enter Boy and Girl Child.
Girl Child: DAD! You are on DRUGS!
Jason: What?
Boy Child: IT'S TRUE! YOU ARE ON DRUGS!
Jason: WHAT?
Girl Child: Cigarettes have drugs in them! You know! Nickelodeon? That's a DRUG!
Chick: That's a television network. No one is addicted to Spongebob Squarepants, honey. That's just wrong.
Boy Child: IT'S TRUE!
Chick: Nicotine? Is that what you mean?
Boy Child: IT'S TRUE!
Girl Child: That's what I said! Nickleback!
Five minutes later.
Chick: Hey Jason? Remember your New Years resolution?
Jason: No.
Chick: Seriously?
Jason: No. What was it?
Chick: We talked about this fifteen minutes ago and already you've forgotten?
Jason: Just tell me what it was.
Chick: To not SMOKE in front of the children?
Jason: Oh.
A moment passes, as he reflects on this.
Jason: I guess I screwed that up, huh?
Chick: EPIC. FAIL.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
29 comments:
Being addicted to Spongebeb IS worng. Sadly, my husband and children ARE!
That's funny!
I'm not sure which is funner: the Nickelodeon or the Nickelback comment or Jason fogetting in 15 minutes what his goal was :)
The whole post? Hilarious!
Although, I'm addicted to Nickelback. How could you not? They're Canadian AND they rock!
So funny and so not funny all in the same moment. Weirdness! And yes, Nickelback totally rock.
Nickelodeon can be a drug. Seriously. Have you seen some of the shows on it? It the network isn't a drug then most everyone on it is ON drugs.
Poor Jason. the oxygen deprivation caused by smoking has clearly affected his short term memory retention.
Hilarious! You guys just crack me up!
LOL!! That was funny! Nickelback and nichelodeon?!!
Thanks for the giggle and Happy New Year!!!!
Funny! My son once told a me a stranger was doing drugs, load enough the guy could hear and while I apologized, he laughed and said he understood.
HEEEEEEEELarious!
So glad you're going to do this every day! :)
I am so glad I can read that other men are....well....men. We still love them but oh lordy those...men!
Just the other day my 3-year-old told me she wants to grow up to be a smoker, just like her Daddy. GAH! And here we thought he DID hide!
This is a great post! I really needed to laugh today!
Thanks!!!
Yay Chick!!
Score:
Chick 1
Jason 0
haha, that got an audible chuckle out of me!
Girl Child made me snort. In front of my husband. (Are you sure she is not related somehow to George W Bush...some sort of recessive malapropism gene - or as they might say "mallpoopgizmo gene")
that is utter perfection.
Oh, so funny.... kids will always tell it like it is. Gotta love the little buggers.
Happy New Year!
too funny--thanks for sharing!!
EPIC FAIL! LMAO!
Fail. Haha. That's funny. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Nickelodeon!" teeheehee.
And for the record, Spongebob is just as addicting as smoking.
It's the thought that counts...right? ummm..right???
But..I am hooked on spongebob squarepants. I wonder if there's a 3 step program for that.
I keep telling you you need to copyright those kids. Just stick that c in a circle on a right butt cheek right now. You'll make a fortune.
Holy crap that was hilarious!!!!!!
HAHAHAH I will say this..... he will not quit untill HE is ready... I so know it.. after 30something years I said THAT IS IT.
I went to a hypno lady worked great..... good luck
At least he got that failure out of the way already! ;)
Oh God your children make me laugh! Nickleback and Nickelodean drugs! hehe I had to laugh....
Chick...I'm totally laughing my butt off! I love your family!
Post a Comment