Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Cause I don't believe in you, anymore. Anymore.

I'm in a funk, I think.

Mostly? Because everyone is acting so, so wrong.

Here are the things I am currently sick of:

1) Audits
2) More audits
3) Having one audit and then having ANOTHER audit team come in THE SAME WEEK. NOT COOL.
4) People who say, "You should just be grateful for the two kids you already have!" in reference to me being infertile. Well hello fuzzy, if I didn't like the kids I already have I sure the hell wouldn't want another. Duh.
5) Did I mention audits?
6) Getting paid only once a month. It would be different if I ever got paid on the same DAY. One month it's the third, the next month it's the 10th, the next month, who knows? It's all so random
7) People who assume I will make them coffee or staple their papers merely because I have a vagina.
8) People who I believe in that leave me with a PROFOUND FEELING OF DISAPPOINTMENT after speaking to them.
9) Not feeling like I belong anywhere.
10) Wondering if I ever will belong anywhere.
11) Oh yeah, AUDITS.
12) Having a cookie sale meeting at 7pm tonight. I know how to sell cookies. You say, "Hey, I have Girl Scout cookies" and people fling money at you. It's easy.
13) Having to deal with someone on a daily basis that I genuinely hate. It's crossed over from dislike or "Bless his heart he's a huge dumbass." I sincerely hate this person. I wish harm would befall him.
14) People who do not read for clarity.
15) That chick who, apparently, used to date my husband and has made it her mission to be my personal stalker and leave me really weird and bitchy comments. If she would just email me we could hash this all out like nice ladies, but she? Is not nice.
16) Audits
17) Not getting enough sleep
18) People who do not respect me because I'm 32 years old as opposed to being, I don't know, 100 or however old they are.
19) People who do not respect me because I'm a nice, decent person and likely to smile at people in the hallway instead of shouting obscenities at them. I would rather shout, but I'm a Girl Scout and we don't do crap like that.
20) AUDITS. OH MY FREAKING COW. STOP WITH THE AUDITS.

30 comments:

Jenski said...

Um, they don't pay you in a regular manner? That's not cool.
I love point #4.
#8 makes me sad.
#13 reminds me of my life.
#15 is disturbing.
And I like and respect you!

P.S. I like to blanket all this kind of stuff under, "I hate stupid people." I'm pretty sure that would include the auditors.

Karen and Bill said...

Yah, it's kinda like illegal not to pay on a predefined payday. I mean, they could get in a lotta trouble for that. I think perhaps a call to the labor commissioner is in order?

Audits? Suck.

Did you take your meds today?!?

My favorite is #13. Because somehow people (especially those from southern states like Georgia and stuff) think that by saying "bless his heart" before or after a sentence saying something horrible about someone, that makes it okay. For instance, you could say, "That guy is a freaking scum-sucking dirtbag son-of-a-beach a-hole, bless his heart." And somehow? It's not so bad. I think its freaking hilarious that you said "bless his heart he's a huge dumbass", because then being a huge dumbass is so -- cute -- when you say "bless his heart" after it.

You cracked me up!! Thanks for the laugh. Have a glass of wine. It helps. I promise! :-)

Kimberly said...

Well, does it help to know that you're so darn sweet and endearing that people who haven't even met you wish they could reach into your life and smack the schmuck's around, fix everything and make it right?

'Cause I do. I do.

Morgan Leigh said...

Wow, Chick. I'm so very sorry, hon. ((hugs)) If it makes you feel better-- I'm having a bad day too.

It'll get better though, I bet soon that you'll get a letter in the mail saying someone accepted one of your writing submissions! :)

:)

Lois Grebowski said...

You have girl scout cookies? Call me!

hope your day gets better. hugs!

Wenderina said...

Oh yeah and hallelujah - 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, and 17 - BIG DITTO!!!

Tulip Girl said...

I agree that you should contact your state department of labor about the payday thing. I think that is illegal.

The psyco that used to date Jason needs to get a life and leave you alone.

Edie said...

Yikes! I hope the audits are over soon. :(

theotherbear said...

I think we need to audit your audit schedule.

AndreAnna said...

Thanks. Now I need cookies. :)

Sorry about the audits. And about Mr. Prick McBastard: ever consider laxatives in the company coffee? ;)

And your entitled to want however many kids you want and grieve when it doesn't happen. Send anyone who says different my way. I'm a jersey girl. I can kick their ass. Or asphyxiate them with hairspray. Both are equally viable options.

frannie said...

even if you had 100 kids, being infertile is a hard thing to accept.

and stalker beeyotch should get a life and stop screwin' with yours! as should the auditors!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

If Bill Engvall read your blog, he would never run out of material on stupid people.

At least the audits aren't from the IRS.

Blessings, Chick.

Angie said...

I'm sorry. Sometimes life sucks. I'm having a life sucks day...not mine, but my friend's life. I blogged about it. I guess I needed to vent a bit.

I'll pray for you -- seriously, I will.

nailgirl said...

Ok so feeling ya on the payday thing. I get paid whenever they fuckin feel like it. Hugs to you my friend. Want to go grab a midori margarita?

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

Oh Chick - I'm sorry things are feeling so awful around you right now.

Don't wish anything bad on anyone. Don't go there - please. It ain't worth it.

Blank people like that if you can't bring yourself to kill them with kindness.

lots of hugs {{{}}}}}
xoxoxoxo

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

And omg, I'm laughing at andreanna's hairspray comment, lolol.

Amy W said...

Really, really dislike auditors..

Hey, can I buy some cookies from you??

Lil Mouse said...

i agree with your coffee and stapler thing.. it's like dude.. get your own coffee.. i had a boss who tried to get me to say i drink coffee (which i did but not enough to warrant being forced to make coffee every day, which is what the passive aggressive bastard was trying to do) which i refused to do, and then there were the people that ask you to staple stuff, it's like gee, the staplers' RIGHT THERE , do it yourself... ugh!

JUST A MOM said...

Stop by got somthin for ya

CPA Mom said...

As an auditor myself, I'm feeling a little hurt with all the lack of love above. LOL!!

Seriously, I'm sorry you are going through all this. And I wish I could buy GS cookies from you. I'm looking forward to the 100 calorie packs this year!

Seriously - if you want to block the troll - email me and I'll tell you how.

Doug said...

You? Are allowed to be in a funk.

Even if you don't enjoy being in a funk, it that's where you are, go with it.

This too will pass, and when it does you will still have a 98.5% wonderful husband, and two 120% wonderful children.. not to mention a 150% wonderful you.

Suzy said...

Loved #13 even though I don't work.
I'm in a crap mood myself. I blame it on anything and anyone I can. I guess that's my job, BLAMING.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for that. I was having a bad until I read your blog. I'm the anonymous central florida chickie who you've never met but whose day you brighten everyday. I check your blog all the time and every day I smile about something you say or write. I think you are brilliant and funny and an amazing mom and wife. I wish I had 10% of your wit. Thank god for audits, for annoying people, for cars that cut you off, cause everytime something crappy happens to you, I get to laugh about it and think, hey, chickie is having a hard day too(its not just me). Like we are all on the same planet trying to better people and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. You remind me to be human, to laugh. You are like a laughter minister. Preach on. We need you more than you know, bless your heart.

Catwoman said...

Well, besides Andreanna's NJ gangsta gal, you've also got a Canadian. And we're known for being very nice, but you haven't seen us angry (well, just watch any hockey game, and usually the one with the least teeth? He's Canadian, an angry Canadian). Angry Canadians will come after the troll and drown them in maple syrup. There's no worse death than drowning in maple syrup, because at first you're all like "oh yum! Sweet, sweet maple syrup!" but then you're all like "oh crap, I can't breathe, and my sugar levels are all wonky." And then you die.

Hopefully, your troll will heed this warning to stay away, or I'll order a shipment of maple syrup for you and head to Tennessee. I still have Depends in my cabinet from when the midwife told me to get them for after the birth, so I can get there muy pronto, like that crazy astronaut lady.

On another note, I'm giving you hugs (slightly sticky from handling the maple syrup, but full of love nonetheless).

Brooke said...

See, I like #13 too, there are plenty of people who I wish harm on...in fact the only thing I would like better is to be the one to inflict said harm...

Anonymous said...

I love your Blog- I check in first thing every morning and if you have not yet posted I get sad. I check all day until I get my "Chick" fix. You are an inspiration to me.

SJ said...

I know it's not going to make you feel any better - but for what it's worth? I'm in a funk too.

A funky funk like never before. Hang in there.

Emma in Canada said...

I am so glad I no longer need to deal with my number 13 on a daily basis! Because he was making me lose my mind.

And the payday thing? I too am pretty sure that's not A-OK. Especially when it's an actual company. That's very, very bad.

Blue Momma said...

Chick - you do belong somewhere!!! Right here in Alabama with me. Start packing and hit the road, ok? I'm tired of waiting.

Just think of all of the posts you could do about your annoying former blog, but now real life friend who never gives you a moments peace!

You know as far as that troll goes I'm pretty sure both of our infertile asses could handle her with no problem. If gas ever hits 2.50 again I'm all up for a road trip to send that troll back under her bridge!!!!

Rachel said...

Don't listen to Blue Momma! Stay in Tennessee, just come to the other, well, less attractive side.