In an effort to avoid dwelling on what a hot mess I am, I watched a whole lot of television this weekend. One program I watched was Vh1's Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp.
Typically, I enjoy various incarnations of the Celebrity Fit Club theme. Largely because none of them are really celebrities (I had never, ever heard of one of them) and also, it's about one of the topics that is always on my mind: weight loss.
Okay, not really. It's about people being crazy and crying and acting a fool.
Either way. I still like it.
Until this weekend? Joanie? From Happy Days? Who is like, maybe 125 pounds TOPS so I have no clue why she's even ON this show? Faked an orgasm on the bus. Because she was drunk off her hiney and possibly on smack. I'm not sure, but is now burned into my memory forever. And not in a good way, like your wedding day or whatever. In a really, really bad soul-sucking horrific kind of way.
So, I have to ask.
What the damn hell?
You've said a million, billion times that you grew up in a really strict household. You were punished for trick-or-treating. Your family was weird. They were mean. They sucked.
So what do you do? You, at nearly FIFTY YEARS OLD, get on the "Celebrity Fit Club" bus, drunk off your skinny-ass and FAKE AN ORGASM.
And, bless her heart, she didn't even do a good job faking. I totally didn't buy into it, at all.
I swear. I think she's on some sort of illegal substances. I really hope they get her onto the next edition of "Celebrity Rehab".
Because that's what she needs. I bet even Scott Baio thinks so.