Thursday, May 29, 2008

Open Letters: "It's been a while" edition

Dear Lady I sort of slightly know,

Ma'am, your children are named "Laquawna", "D'Yawni", "Sheniqua", "M'Shylika" and "Bob". While I respect your right to name your children whatever you darn well please, I am a bit perplexed by your choices.

Something just doesn't fit.

That being said, I'm certain you are a lovely person and have a lovely bunch of children.

Cheers!
SS



Dear all you folks who are reading this crap,

Please head over to Scrivel and get your laugh on.

Or, you know, whatever.

Love,
Chickie



Dear God,

Really, I don't ask you for much I think.

A home free of psychotic people, the health of my children and dog, a decent job which does not involve the criminally insane who have not yet been captured by the law, the sheer will not to whack my spouse upside the head when he is being, well, himself. All of this...it's not much, is it?

Today, God, I need a favor.

I am willing to accept the fact that my dad has cancer again. I can take that. In fact, when I got the call yesterday? I wasn't even surprised. The proverbial "other shoe"? Well, it dropped.

So I was expecting it. I didn't like it, but I wasn't really surprised either.

But God, can you just make it easy on him this time? Can you make the surgery a little easier for him to handle? Can you make the chemotherapy not so tough? Can you give him something, whatever he needs, so that he isn't in pain all the time?

If you can, I'll forfeit whatever you need me to.

Deal?

Love,
Me

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

I found humor in these letters. Until the last one. I'm so sorry about your Dad, Chickie. I'll say a prayer asking for the same things you asked.

:(

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Sorry--that was me that deleted the comment. I was impatient, apparently, and hit publish twice.

I'm fun like that.

Nancy said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis... hugs to all of you

Mrs. Booms said...

So sorry about your daddums, hon. Big love to you and yours.

Stephanie said...

I am sorry to hear about your dad.

CPA Mom said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's battle with cancer - cancer sucks. I'm praying today for him and for your job interview to go well!! I'd hire you in a heartbeat!

Edie said...

I'm so sorry about your dad. :(

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry about your dad...

And I'm totally sending you all the best wishes and bright thoughts I can for your interview. Go Chick! Go Chick! Go Chick!!!!!

BandK said...

Sorry about your dad. We lost my husband's mother last year and it was hard.

But the skirt-wearing thing?? We are a fairly casual office, and we can always tell when someone has a job interview, because they show up to work in a skirt and hose. They might as well wear a big sign, "I HAVE A JOB INTERVIEW TODAY"

LOL

Anonymous said...

Sorry about your dad- mine has had it twice so I know where you're at.


Rock that interview!!

frannie said...

oh Chick. I am so sorry about your dad. I am truly heartbroken for you.

so heartbroken.

Allie said...

Sorry to hear about your dad, he will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Angie said...

I will be praying for your dad. Do keep us posted on the job "stuff," will ya??

Jana said...

I said a prayer for you dad too... Hope all goes well.

Also, I'm totally with you on the first letter, I know this woman who named her daughters, Wanda, Rhonda, Jonda, and HEIDI!!! What a hoot!

Jana said...

I said a prayer for you dad too... Hope all goes well.

Also, I'm totally with you on the first letter, I know this woman who named her daughters, Wanda, Rhonda, Jonda, and HEIDI!!! What a hoot!

Anonymous said...

Chick, I'm praying for you and your dad.

Unknown said...

Hey Chick,
Good luck on the job front. I added that to the prayer for your dad. I'll keep you all in our thoughts and prayers...although it is kind of funny to pray for "That Chick's" Dad, I know how hard the situation is.
Best wishes

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Your ability to make me laugh and cry in the space of a single blog post exemplifies the fact that you are more than a blogger. You are a "writer."

Jenski said...

My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that treatment goes okay for your Dad.

[And poor Bob.]

Wenderina said...

Thinking of you and hoping God answers your prayers - spoken and unspoken.

Anonymous said...

{{{hugs}}} I'm really praying for your Dad. xo

SJINCO said...

As always I love your open letters, but the last one? Heart wrenching. I'm so sorry, I'll be thinking of you and your family.

And God totally owes that favor to you.


Good luck on your interview!

Anonymous said...

you totally had me rolling. I mean your neighbor? classic. then I read your last letter. Gut wrenching. Your family will definitely be on my prayer list. Super big hugs!

Anonymous said...

you totally had me rolling. I mean your neighbor? classic. then I read your last letter. Gut wrenching. Your family will definitely be on my prayer list. Super big hugs!

Kelly said...

OH god..I'm so sorry to hear about your father!! You all will be in my prayers for sure! I hate hearing this stuff especially seeing how I just went through it with my mom. {hugs}

As for your letter to your neighbor....holy hell I laughed my ass off!

Tricia said...

Good luck in your interview today!

And I am very sorry to hear about your dad.

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Hon, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I will keep him in my prayers.