And you know what that means?
It means that after tommorrow? I'll be the mother of two fifth graders.
And you know that THAT means?
It means that I'm going to have to start being a real mom. Not this fake crap that I've been pulling for the last ten years.
Someone else is going to have to inform the children of this plan, though, because earlier I tried to have the period talk with Girl Child? And she ran out of the room shrieking.
Here's what's bad. I don't have a clue what to say. I have no idea how a normal girl's period works. I've never been normal. I don't know how to explain this crap. And incidentally? If you mention the word "flooding" in reference to something that's going to come out of your 10 year old child's body? She's going to really freak out.
Also? I tried to talk to Boy Child recently about puberty.
I told him he might start getting hair under his arms soon and he laughed so hard that he farted.
Then he said, "Mom! You're a riot!"
And I totally am! So I didn't correct him because that would be rude.
Then we started talking about what types of fish are the most violent and I totally forgot all about the whole puberty conversation.
This mom stuff is hard, y'all.