Thursday, August 28, 2008

In which my foot goes up his ass.

So I've been really domestic and crap lately and also really overwhelmed and tired. Because dude, seriously. I'm working like fifty hours a week, walking thirty minutes to an hour a day, writing a damn book, and basically just being kick-ass.

Thus, I decided to dust off the slow-cooker and make a fantabulous meal for everyone to enjoy.

Except, yeah. Not so much.

The recipe called for chicken, rice and seasoning, water, cream of chicken soup, and carrots.

I followed the recipe. Except for the fact that, well, it was supposed to cook for 7-8 hours. And by the time I rolled up? I had been gone ten and a half hours.

And the rice? Was totally stuck to the sides in a big gelatinous lump.

I tried to salvage it, I did. I turned the heat off and moved it over and scraped the sides and so on. I put it on the kids plates and they ate it. They eat everything and declare everything to be the best thing they've ever eaten.

And really, the flavor was okay. But the consistency? Eww.


I felt bad. I'm really trying hard to be a better cook or heater upper or whatever, so I said to Jason,

"I wish it had turned out better."

So he said,

"It was edible."





Thanks for the reassurance.



Butt-face.

22 comments:

stepmomof2 said...

Men!

Girl from Pennsylvania said...

My husband once said "It won't kill me" To which I replied. But I might.

Cricky (Who Is More Than Just A Girl) said...

At least Jason tried it. Joe looks at the dish, looks at me and says "I'm gonna run out to Wal-Mart real quick and grab some milk." An hour later he returns smelling of french fries and big macs.

I left a really good recipe on my blog yesterday, you might try it. It's in no way healthy, but damn it tastes good.

Betsey Booms said...

I'm in the "at least he ate it" camp. Sometimes when I make dinner? That's the night my husband magically isn't hungry.

Kimberly said...

I found the answer to the crock-pot problem (you know, other than buying fancy one that lets you program it and stuff). One of those cheapy electric timer things people use for Christmas lights. Plug the crockpot in, set the timer for when you want it to turn on, and voila, no more over cooked meals. Saved me many a time.

I say saved, because I suck at cooking lately and haven't made even a crock-pot meal in weeks. You rock.

Mean Stepmom said...

this is funny, because today I'm making turkey chili in my crockpot and I will be satisfied if its edible. and if the rest of the family hates it? too damn bad. :)

Allie Bear said...

I am definitely lacking in the cooking department. I can bake till the cows come home but unfortunately my husband doesn't like sweets (he's a moron) and I can't exactly serve my children cakes for dinner in good conscience.

Priscilla said...

Well, I suppose he could have thrown up, or maybe keeled over dead. So, edible, not so bad.

My first year of marriage? 90% inedible. It got better thereafter. Somewhat.

Cris said...

I'm a fairly decent cook, and after 15 years of being together and almost 10 years of marriage, my ex-husband would say "Actually, this isn't that bad." Like it was STILL shocking to him that I could throw together a tasty meal. That might have been one of our biggest downfalls....

Saphira said...

they ate it! that says something! keep it up, you are doing great!

Madame Queen said...

We have a saying in our family -- "It eats" which means that it might not be the best thing we've ever eaten, but at least it filled our bellies. And I'm usually the first one to say it about my own cooking!

Tulip Girl said...

I am also a working mom and have a crazy life...my new favorite cookbook is a Pampered Chef one titled "29 Minutes to Dinner." It rocks! My 11 year old actually asked me to make one of the recipes a 2nd time!

Angie said...

I was just thinking that I need to use my slow cooker on a more regular and consistent basis.

um........

BandK said...

Well, he's a man, you know.

And that pretty much explains it all.

Lil Mouse said...

my husband's friend (well i suppose he has more than one, but the one he has HERE, which is one more than I HAVE by the way).. eh hm, anyway, he eats and then he critiques the meal. He just got married and he did that to his wife too. I would have whacked him in the nose had he been my spouse. She made a wonderful meal and he commented on the seasoning. Maybe that works for them but I was mortified for her. Sure, I may ASK my hubby if he thinks something needs more seasoning or whatever (AFTER the guests are gone), but he sure as heck is smarter than to offer a comment ahead of time.

sheesh. well, anyway, I can relate. even if its on someone else's behalf.

Peggy said...

I joined the mom blog and searched twins - found you. You are freakin hilarious! Love it!:)

Thalassa said...

i find that crock-pot recipes almost always need a bit more water than they call for. i'm not sure why... also, i second the suggestion about the cheap electric timer.

"it eats"... i love it!

KrustyLynn said...

haha, well, I burn jello. So, basically that means that I don't cook. Because who likes burned jello anyway??

the Yearning Heart said...

Maybe he was afraid that if he said, "no, it wasn't that bad, That Chick. Actually I liked it ok," then he might have to eat it again. He foolishly chose honesty. Let him know how much you don't appreciate honest opinions if there is any hint of a lack of appreciation for the effort, and then you will be less likely to hear them!

Smilf said...

HA HA! I so don't have good luck with crock pots. I wish I did. they are so useful. But yeah. My stuff usually turns out weird too. LOL At least you tried!

Catwoman said...

I think only stay at home moms can use crock pots, because all the recipes call for 7-8 hours of cooking time, which doesn't work when you're gone 9-10 hours a day!

Rachel said...

Um, can I have the receipe? It sounds like it would be yummy and I could cook it on a weekend when I will be home to keep an eye on it.