Friday, October 17, 2008

I'm just pretending!

I really enjoy being a mother. This does not mean that I'm a good mother or anything. I don't delude myself into thinking I've got this down or whatever. But I do enjoy being a mother. Especially the parts that involve ice cream. Oh, and getting to make pecan pie. I freaking love pecan pie.

Recently I gave some advice at Scrivel (which was, duh, all made up and supposed to be funny) which caused someone to refer to me as a cunt and then come over here to my blog and call me a cunt again. So I'm kind of meh about giving advice right now, so this TOTALLY ISN'T ADVICE AT ALL, but this is something I have done and it's worked for me.

(And bear with me, seriously, because it is SO infrequent that I get to give any kind of information, WHICH IS NOT ADVICE, about parenting)

I present:


Consequences


This? Works for me. For US, I should say.

It takes all the emotion out of punishment. It just is what it is. You do the crime, you do the time. Or some other generic bad movie reference.

So. There you go. I won't say "You're welcome" because it's really, totally not advice.


And yes, the word "Bitchy" is part of the Consequences chart. At least it didn't say douchebag.





And the magnet next to it says, "Eat your raisins. They make your ass stink less."

I never said I was a good mom.

18 comments:

Ron said...

Rules to live by! I think you ROCK!

Sabrina said...

I think that people who go around leaving comments like that should be taken out an neutered. You should not be able to reproduce if your IQ is below 20.

I like the consequences paper. I'll use it...when my kids like learn how to read :P

Angie said...

I've got to get me one of those magnets! :)

Kimberly said...

Sabrina stole my comment.

Seriously.

I was going to say that.

stepmomof2 said...

That's great, I should do something like that around here. Brad just got his computer time taken away for two days due to a major attitude problem.

Rottie_mom said...

Hey those are great consequences. If I had kids I'd use them.

As for the bad comments, people really need to get a life!

Twisted Cinderella said...

I think that is a great idea!

Lily's Mommy said...

My two year old can't read yet but when she can, I'm copying your list. :)

And is that true about raisins??

Dawn~a~Bon said...

OMG people are nuts. What exactly was it that made the Scrivel Psycho so upset??

Jhianna said...

I saw that comment on Scrivel and it made me laugh - because (s)he needed to be hit with a clue bat a few thousand times.

There are nutbars all over the internet, and when you start getting their attention, it just means you're getting somewhere. (Course, I've never had to deal with one because I'm a sub-basement level internet presence, so I have no idea how hard it would be to ignore them.)

Stephanie said...

I think that's a great list, and a great plan. We have something similar in our house and it works wonders. That way no one is confused about the deal, and we don't get sucked into grounding them until they're 30 and then having to go back on it later because we were just really freaked out about the whole thing, or suffering from a bad case of PMS (just me, not My Hubby, although he could have been suffering from MY bad case of PMS), or something else like that.

I think it works. And those kinds of blog-stalkers? Should be moved to Siberia... immediately.

Kiki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kiki said...

Hey Chick...
I nominated you for an I LOVE YOUR BLOG award. Check out my new blog at www.adventuresofalmostunemployedgirl.blogspot.com
Peace and chicken grease.

Priscilla said...

Oh you are so a good mom. A great mom even. Who says you gotta be a June Cleaver mom anyway? Huh? Who? BORING!!! It's all about love, and a few rules thrown in here and there, feed them once in awhile, make sure they don't smell too bad, and, and, you know, make them do their home work. What else do you need to know?

You have a beautiful relationship with your kids. It's awesome to see.

I am Trish Marie said...

Jill makes her own rules. Then proceeds to break them, and get pissed at me for it. Then I get to say, "Hey...it was YOUR rule."

Robyn said...

Oh that is awesome! Great rules!

SJ said...

Those are some great rules Chick! I totally might have to steal them. And find me one of those magnets....

CPA Mom said...

so THOSE are the famous consequences - I seriosly think this was an excellent piece of advice that we will need to take. Thank you again for being there for me and giving me GOOD advice!