Friday, October 03, 2008

Just me.

Despite the fact that it is named for him, Jason is not a regular reader of this blog. He and I talk about it pretty frequently and he reads from time to time, but really? It's just kind of my thing. He and I have an unspoken agreement. He doesn't freak out about anything I put on the internet and I don't tell anything weirder than the beard brush.

It works out fine.


Blogging ebbs and flows. Sometimes I have a million ideas and a million things to say and sometimes I can't think of anything not stupid. Plus, and I don't really know how to say this, but my life is huge these days. HUGE. I have twelve hundred tons of stuff going on all the freaking time. Things have been insane lately.

Not that I'm complaining. I'm not. I love my life. It's just a lot.


I get emails and comments every day from people who read my blog and I'm grateful for all of them, even the ones in which people are really mean and rude. Because, dude. People are reading. Even if you think I'm an idiot or don't agree with me or whatever. People are listening. And that's weird for a girl who grew up never being heard. For a girl who is far to often not heard in real life.


I was sharing some of the emails I've recently received with Jason and he got the strangest look on his face.


"People are really weird about you," he said.


And I laughed. God, how I laughed.


He frowned. "No, it's just...you're just you."



I get what he means.


I also think it's weird. It scares me sometimes.

It's weird that people care what I have to say. It's weird that hundreds of people read my thoughts every day. It's bizarre that anyone cares about me and my family and even my stinky-ass dog. It's insane when I think about all the people who take time to email me. People who have never met me who comfort me in times of sadness and laugh with me in times of joy. People who send me Christmas cards and donate money to things I care about. People who send me words of encouragement. People who like me enough to ask me to write for them. Even those people who are mean to me and cut me down, but come back every single day. People who just listen to all this insane crap that comes falling out of my brain.


It's really weird sometimes.











And I'm so freaking thankful for it. For every single bit of it.

21 comments:

mean stepmom said...

I think you make the rest of us feel semi-normal. :)

Thank you for writing your blog.

J said...

Well, what can I say, Chick? I just love ya!

We are thankful for YOU writing your blog! Where would we be without tales of boy child's hilarious antics, or Jason's beard brush?

Robyn said...

I don't comment often, but I love your blog. You are a daily part of MY life because I care about YOUR life.

When you're a big, famous author, promise you won't quit on us?!

Ron said...

I love reading your blog too. The title makes me laugh every time I see it. I think we have the same stupid sense of humor.

I know what you mean though about people reading your thoughts. Who knew that people wanted to know what was going on in our lives?

KrustyLynn said...

I look forward to reading everyday. You're so real, you know? That's important. You can tell when someone's faking it. And that's not interesting. Real life is interesting! Thank you for writing!

And even though I don't know you personally...I really do care. :)

kristi said...

I call all of my blogger buddies my FRIENDS. Because you are!

Lil Mouse said...

i tell my hubby about the different blogs i read and he just kind of shakes his head. but if its an interesting story, he gets it and its almost like i'm talking about my friends or whatever.

so anyway, just know that you're entertaining, just by being you!

Kimberly said...

I've been lucky that Neil has come with me to meet some of my blogging friends. It's hit home to him something I've always known - they're real people. And not just that, but real people I feel a real connection with.

But yesterday, 395 people read my blog (that's four times the norm) and it superbly freaked me out.

Blog fame is kind of spiffy, but weird. Wonderful but weird.

Love ya. No matter how weird it is.

Amy W said...

Ray unfortunately subscribe to the feed of mine...

Amanda Daybyday said...

Yup. You're just fun to read. Love your perspective. Love your honesty.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

You are a great writer and a wonderful person. Keep doing what you're doing, and thanks for letting us all be a part of your life :)

HM said...

It's because you're real and have a great ability to write. Thanks for sharing!

giants fan said...

we all love you!!!

EE said...

You rock!!!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

So very glad and honored to be one of the weird ones! :)

Angie said...

I get to be one of the weirdos you meet in person, too. And, I'm speechless with excitement!!

Kiki said...

Now you know how Angelina and Brad feel. :-) You do rock chick. (did you know that there is a vibrator called the rock chick?) weird.

Wenderina said...

This? This is just the universe's way of getting you slowly indoctrinated to when you are REALLY famous. You know, with your future books and all.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, well we all feel isolated and different, muddling along. You're one of us, we're part of you. You just write better than the rest of us, so you're the spokeswoman, lol. Hope you're having a good Saturday night. love, V

SJ said...

I love your blog, and I love what you have to say - that's why I read.

You are real. And I like people like that!

Rachel said...

I agree with what SJ said. You are real and sometimes that can be hard to find with blogs. You let yourself be vulnerable. I have the hardest time doing that, which is why my blog never has things, well, meaningful.

You do it, and no one judges you. I don't know why it's so hard for me.