Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Things I shouldn't do lately.

1) Watch The Biggest Loser on the television.

Because as much as I puffy pink heart The Biggest Loser? I find myself shrieking things at the television like,

"BITCH, PLEASE! WE ALL KNOW HE CHEATED!"

And Jason tells me I need to have a rest period.

2) Talk to my dog like she's a person.

3) Talk to anyone at work about anything other than work related activities.

4) Smile at strangers.

They always think I'm hot and sexy (gag) and want to talk to me and/or have me do stuff to them. Which is SO not going to happen.

5) Check my email fourty-eleven times a day.

6) Say things like, "Look! They are in a such a hurry! They must be missing their drugs!" when someone speeds past my vehicle going fifty-five in a school zone and my children are in the car.

I can't help it. I'm not right.

10 comments:

Destiney said...

I am a lurker and never know what to say but I have to tell you, I absolutely LOVE your blog. My hubby's name is Jason too and I feel like I can relate to you on sooo many levels. Thanks for sharing with us.

Angie said...

Oh. . .you are right on SO many levels, my friend!!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

That's OK. I watch Ghost Hunters and because of you? I will holler, "Bitch, please! That was a thermal hit! Swing that camera back over there!"

Bitch, please. I love it. You're awesome. :)

Kimberly said...

Maybe. But if you were a TV show I'd so watch you.

If I didn't have cable, I'd order it for just that reason.

You're brilliant. For reals.

Karin's Korner said...

I yell at people in their cars...like....YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT...GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE MORON..YOU MY FRIEND, ARE A DOUCHBAG...GOD!! YOUR AN ASSHOLE.

My husband thinks I need therapy...LOL, he is a therapist.

I try to tell him that when I get into the car, I am getting in for one reason only and that is to GO so when someone insists on driving like a dumbshit, then I will have to yell at them to correct them...this is why God made ME! I am sure it is my job.

mean stepmom said...

I hear you, Chick...and I hate Brady and Vickie too. *growl*

Ron said...

I do #2, 3, 4, and 5 too.

So I guess I'm not right either, but I think we knew that.

kristi said...

Yeah, I am a shit talker too...especially when I drive!

I am Trish Marie said...

You know, yelling at the cars is only a problem when the driver happens to walk into the same place as you, and your child announces, "Look, Mom, there is that asshole that took your parking spot!"

Yelling at the TV is perfectly okay.

And? Yep. I just checked my email AGAIN.

SJ said...

Hahaha! You have no idea about the email checking. I do it too!

And I yell at the TV as well. I haven't watched any of The Biggest Loser this season and I'm beginning to think I should be? What's going on!?