1) Watch The Biggest Loser on the television.
Because as much as I puffy pink heart The Biggest Loser? I find myself shrieking things at the television like,
"BITCH, PLEASE! WE ALL KNOW HE CHEATED!"
And Jason tells me I need to have a rest period.
2) Talk to my dog like she's a person.
3) Talk to anyone at work about anything other than work related activities.
4) Smile at strangers.
They always think I'm hot and sexy (gag) and want to talk to me and/or have me do stuff to them. Which is SO not going to happen.
5) Check my email fourty-eleven times a day.
6) Say things like, "Look! They are in a such a hurry! They must be missing their drugs!" when someone speeds past my vehicle going fifty-five in a school zone and my children are in the car.
I can't help it. I'm not right.