Tuesday, November 11, 2008


My husband doesn't wear a wedding ring. Apparently this bothers everyone on the planet except, you know, us.

I can't figure out why this bothers people so much. We had a legal wedding ceremony (performed by a church elder named, and I'm not kidding, Johnny Ray. And we had to call him Johnny Ray because he used both his first and middle name conversationally). We signed the marriage license and turned it in to the appropriate venue in the appropriate amount of time. There was even cake people! It was totally a wedding.

I slipped a ring on his finger which was engraved with the words "We belong to you and me". Bonus points for you if you know where that comes from.

About five minutes after the ceremony was over, he took the ring off. He's never put it back on. He doesn't wear any jewelry on his hands. He doesn't even wear a watch. So. No ring.

We're still married.

My ex-husband decided he didn't want to be married to me anymore and he took his ring off. But guess what? We were still married. Until the judge banged that gavel, he was still my husband. Despite what he told the insurance company so they would drop me while I was pregnant with twins.

A ring does not a marriage make.

My husband, for God knows what reason, thinks I'm the best thing alive. Someone asked me on Sunday how long we had been married and when I said five years they were shocked. They said, "You two are like newlyweds".

And we are. Not like in a gross tongue out at the Piggly Wiggly kind of way. But in a sweet way.

So he doesn't wear a ring. It makes other people upset and causes waitresses to proposition him in restaurants because I guess they think I'm his fat sister or some crap.

But I don't care.

We're still married.

And it's really, really good.


AndreAnna said...

Tell everyone else to suck it. :)

CPA Mom said...

HP doesn't wear a ring either. He lost the first one on board ship and he says the 2nd one hurts his finger so he wears it around his neck on his necklace. Doesn't bother me a bit. I haven't thought about it a long time.

We are still married and happily.

Lara said...

Mine only wears his ring when we go out together or to church. And I only began wearing mine again when I couldn't get this guy named Carlos to stop following me around & asking me out. My parents have never had rings. My sister & her hubby don't have rings.

If it bothers people, tell them to go buy themselves rings, because you don't need them to remind yourself that you're totally married.

Anonymous said...

Men who do any work with their hands (be it for a job, or just dicking around in the garage) generally don't wear a ring, in my experience. I would never let my husband wear his to work.

He'll remember to put it on, sporadically, when we go somewhere. But he never remembers where he put it the last time. And I move it, just to mess with him. I'm not very nice.

CageQueen said...

My husband is a mechanic. If he were to wear his ring while working, it would put his safety and quite possibly his life, in danger. I understand this and encourage him to take it off. The rest of the time, he wears his ring at all times because he loves it and becuase he wants to. He's still my hubby either way.

Miss Know It All said...

My hubby wears his ring faithfully. I, however, haven't worn mine in almost 10 years. We are still married and still love each other. It doesn't bother either of us. I'm just too damned fat to get it on my finger and I don't want to have it sized up. Again.

Thalassa said...

'Cause we're livin' in a world of fools/breakin' us down./When they all should let us be./We belong to you and me.../Da-da-da-da-daaaaaa.

How Deep Is Your Love, by the Bee Gees.

Do I get a cookie?

SJ said...

If you two love each other and are committed to each other who gives a hoot about whether or not either one of you wears a ring!

Rings are not what marriages are about anyways!

Angie said...

I'm loving the two-name preacher performing the ceremony. :) So very. . . well, HERE where we live!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Dude. Some people just need to chill.

Bethany said...

The Big Guy wears his ring (unless he's doing something mechanical). I do not wear mine. I'm just not a jewelry person.

Anonymous said...

Jimmy doesn't wear a ring. But, he hands telephone cable and uses equipment where if the ring got snagged, he could lose his hand. Given he needs his hands, we can't have that happening :)

So, no. A ring does not a marriage make. :)

Kimberly said...

We have close friends who are anti-bling so they had theirs tattooed on. Beautiful celtic designs around an infinity knot.

To each their own, right?

Catwoman said...

Why do people care about stupid crap like this?

I don't get it.

Between you and I, I have the opposite problem. My hubby's ring is titanium. It can't be cut off his finger if something happens. He refuses to take it off, even when he goes to Tae Kwon Do class. I've begged him to, because I don't want him losing a finger.

So like someone else, to each his own, right?

misocancook said...

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Rebecca said...

My husband lost his ring like 8 years ago. I offered to replace it, but he said no because it wouldn't be the REAL one. So doesn't wear one either and it doesn't bother me. He's not a jewelry/man ring kind of guy.

Wenderina said...

I wear three wedding rings - mine, my dear sweet dad's and my hubby's. Hubby was skinny skinny skinny the year we got married and has never been so again. when the circulation started to cut off he took it off, gave it to me, and swore he didn't want it sized up because he'd fit in it again. I think for our 20th anniversary next year (since he still loves me and thinks I'm awesome too) I'll get him a new ring. Cuz he ain't ever gonna be skinny like that again - and that's cool by me (I like wearing the ring!)

Dawn~a~Bon said...

My parents never wear their rings and they've been married for . . . almost 40 years!

Bug-N-Bee said...

My grandparents don't wear wedding rings. My brother only wears his sometimes. I love jewelry, so when I have a ring, I wear it. But it certainly does not make you more married than any other married person.

Stephanette said...

You know I think the last two lines of your post say it all. I love being a fly on the wall in your life and at times your marriage.

Happy Marriage Moments with or without the rings.

Lisa said...

"His fat sister or something" Bahahahaaaa

Girl you are hilarious!

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

You're killing me with the Bee Gee's whining in my ear now. Now it's gonna loop through my head for, I don't know - days!? Thanks Chick.
(Can you tell I can't stand the Bee Gees? Omg, it's like listening to some guy being force to sing while someone is crunching his grapes. seriously)

My hubby faithfully wears his ring every day. I? *sigh* - well, ever since the second baby, when my fingers got fat and I developed this aversion to anything tight (rings, pants, panties, bras, etc.) - I've just found it such a chore to put my wedding ring on (esp on my fat days). During the Winter time it's not so bad, coz my fingers tend to shrink, and then my rings fit okay. He doesn't seem to mind. And we're happily married.

Lily's Mommy said...

My husband never got a ring. He was very wishy washy every time we went to look at rings. It's fine. I don't know if anyone's ever asked me why he doesn't wear one.

I don't wear mine either. It doesn't fit! Dern southern biscuits.

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Teena in Toronto said...

As long as you're okay with it then it's okay.

Captain Steve said...

Ewwwww. Tongue in the Piggly Wiggly. Ewwwww.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Yeah. We don't wear our wedding rings, either. And it does bug people. They ask me about it all the time. People=nosy.

Doris Vargas celebratelife1978@yahoo.com said...

I loved this post! You rock. And after reading this I wanted to ask you a question. I am planning on proposing to my partner, Jason, of 6 years but he doesn't wear jewelry at all. And I've read other things like: give him a puppy, tv, or motorcyle. He's not down with the tv or puppy and I would love to have enough to buy him a motorcycle but I don't. So...any ideas on what to offer and dear dear boyfriend as a token of proposal?
I'm racking my brain...it's not easy since he has no interest in jewelry.
I'd love any of your thoughts :)

Thanks :)