My little spreadsheet? Started filling up.
I looked up the agent of my most favorite books. I sent her my manuscript.
I sent it to another publisher who was known for being kind to fat women (no, I'm not kidding). Rejected.
I sent it to two other companies who seemed like they would fit in with my writing. Quick rejections. They didn't read it. They didn't care. Nothing.
I sent it to a company who specializes in mom authors (again, not kidding) and got a really great, positive response. I'm going to decline to say the name of this company here but after I got the great positive response in which this individual asked for more information the following then happened:
1) She asked me to buy her book which was about her adventures as a publisher.
2) I did.
3) I read it, thought it was stupid and a waste of time, and was very annoyed at myself for buying it in the first place.
4) I looked at all her online stuff, as she asked.
5) I found it stupid and a waste of time and was annoyed at the length of time I spent on it.
6) I emailed her my "pitch" as she requested.
7) The email bounced back.
8) I resent the email.
9) It didn't bounce back but she never responded.
10) I waited two weeks, emailed and politely asked if she had received my email, and never heard from her.
11) Threw her book in the trash.
I was getting frustrated and sad and annoyed. I decided that maybe I needed someone else to look at my book and edit it for me. I asked one friend and she agreed, but I think she was so busy she never got around to it. Or maybe she read it and thought it sucked and she never told me. I don't know.
I queried again to a small publisher who, after only a few days, asked me for my full manuscript. I sent it immediately and felt pretty happy about it for a few days until I did more looking around on my author's board and found out that this publisher pretty much sucked and was shady and I definitely didn't want to publish with her.
She never emailed me back either. Thus, my book must have sucked. If a shady publisher didn't even bother to email me back, well then. What did that say about me and my book?
So. I started thinking that my book really sucked. That I was a horrible writer. I was a horrible human being. That something was really going wrong with ME and my WRITING and everything and everybody, maybe.
So I stopped thinking about it. I vowed I wouldn't read it for a while. I was going to start my other writing project and get that done and everything would be fine. Eventually I would revisit this book, but not for a long, long time.
To be continued...