1) I talk to myself. A lot.
And not only do I talk to myself? I have elaborate conversations in which I answer the questions that Oprah will someday ask me about my book.
No really. I do.
2) I yell at myself. A lot.
Most especially when I am in the gym. If I get tired or feel like I can't make it another ten minutes or thirty minutes or whatever? I call myself a fat-ass and berate myself internally.
3) I worry continually about things I can't change.
Sometimes the weather, sometimes the past, always useless.
4) I talk to my dog like she's a real person.
But she thinks she is, so it's okay.
If she answers me? I'm going to crap my pants.
5) I put myself in impossible situations which force me to change.
I'm fat and out of shape.
I signed myself up for a 39 mile walk.
I know, right?