Wednesday, July 22, 2009

When did I become this person?

Who says things like, "Ginger. For the love of God. Stop snacking on your own butt!"?

Who does things like get up at 4:30am ON PURPOSE to go to the gym?

Who gets so unnaturally annoyed with bad and/or slow drivers that she literally rolls down the car windows and CHEERS for people when they turn?

Who tells her own mother (who is pretty much appalled by her, by the way), "Let me hang up so I can cuss without you getting mad at me"?

Who only buys mint chocolate chip ice cream because she HATES mint chocolate chip ice cream, thus ensuring that she won't EAT mint chocolate chip ice cream?

Who told her boss, yesterday, "We'll just act good for a little while until the new person gets used to us. Then? We'll scream and call each other bitches and act awful some more. And the new person can just DEAL WITH IT"?

Who said to a co-worker today, "Ask me if I care. No, seriously. Go on. ASK ME"?

Who wasn't surprised when they didn't ask me?

Who is so tired she wants to cry most of the time?

Who is seriously, SERIOUSLY so tired of some of the people in her life who are SO OBSESSED WITH ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY AND CAN THINK OF AND TALK ABOUT ONE THING ONLY that she really wants to stab them in the throat?

Who might just cry after finishing this because she's not all that thrilled with the person she's become?

14 comments:

Dawn~a~Bon said...

I don't understand what's wrong with any of those things? But I'm sorry you're down, love. ((HUGS))

Crystal said...

I don't think those things are bad. Except maybe wanting to stab someone in the throat. And really, thinking it is not so bad as long as you don't actually do it. Hang in there, we all have days when we don't like ourselves, right?

mythoughtsonthat said...

Peace.

moroccojade said...

There are few people I love and look up to more than you.

If you need to do some throat stabbing, by all means do it. With a rubber knife.

xoxo

Bethany said...

I hear you.

Lil Mouse said...

I used to not like brownies, I know, right? Then I started getting chocolate cravings while pregnant. Chocolate is no longer safe, unless it's got coconut on it. That' why I buy my husband almond joy snack size bars to take to work. He still gets a treat, and I won't eat it. It used to be that a lot I made was safe. Not anymore... sigh.. but I hear you...sounds like you need a vacation!

mean stepmom said...

Take a vacation day to pamper yourself. You work too hard, girl.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Don't stab me, but is the ONE THING?

Just because you're going through a hard time doesn't mean it defines you as a person. Besides this list left out all the good stuff about you. HUGS.

Anne-Kathrine said...

Hugs :)

Steph said...

If I was getting up at 4:30 every day, I'd be feeling the exact same way. Without sleep, I'm cranky, to say the least.

Kimberly said...

I think you sound pretty wonderful, excepting the being exhausted bit. But it's not for those of us who love you as you are to decide who you want to be. Just know you're loved, 'kay?

beyondalice said...

I think she sounds like a wonderful person. :)

marythemom said...

Seriously? I think you're the best! Keep on keeping it real!

Mary in TX
http://marythemom-mayhem.blogspot.com
I'm an online mentor at: http://rad-online.org/

Bexterrific said...

Vacation. Stat. And I loves me some Steph...and since we're twins and all, I think you should love yourself like I do!!!!! xoxoxo