Monday, August 03, 2009

The agony of victory.

This morning when I stepped on the scale? The number was 4.2 pounds lower than it was last Monday morning when I stepped on the scale.

That pretty much rules, right? I thought so.

So when I log my weight on my Weight Watchers account? This is the message I get:

You lost weight! Keep making sure you’re losing weight the healthy way – sticking to the Good Health Guidelines, using up your daily POINTS Target, and focusing on nutritious Filling Foods.

Please note: You’re probably excited to be losing weight, but you’re losing faster than is recommended. Although it’s normal to lose over 2 lbs in 1 week, if you lose more than an average of 2 lbs per week over a 4-week period, this could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you’re not sure how.


Let's break it down, shall we?

You lost weight!
What??!?! I would have never expected that what with me being on a program like WEIGHT FREAKING WATCHERS.

Keep making sure you’re losing weight the healthy way – sticking to the Good Health Guidelines, using up your daily POINTS Target, and focusing on nutritious Filling Foods.
Eating my daily POINTS is not a problem. Thank you. I could eat my POINTS and yours too.

Please note: You’re probably excited to be losing weight,
Excited is not even close to the appropriate emotion I am feeling
but you’re losing faster than is recommended.
Oh really? You didn't mention that all those weeks when the scale stayed EXACTLY THE SAME EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EAT THE STUPID CAKE THAT I REALLY, REALLY WANTED.
Although it’s normal to lose over 2 lbs in 1 week,
It is? For who?
if you lose more than an average of 2 lbs per week over a 4-week period, this could pose health risks, such as heart irregularities, anemia or loss of muscle mass. Please slow your weight loss; your doctor can help you do this if you’re not sure how.
Please allow me to assure you that I do not need a doctor to help me SLOW MY WEIGHT LOSS. I do JUST FINE with slow weight loss myself.


Therefore? Weight Watchers automated computer? Please bite the fattest part of my ass.


(And yes, I know it's a computer and incapable of both human emotions and the ability to bite my ass. Thanks though)

Also? I lost 4.2 pounds this week. I need someone to tell me how awesome that is, please. Clearly the Weight Watchers computer program isn't going to help me out here.

38 comments:

mean stepmom said...

Don't let that stupid computer rain on your parade. You are doing great! I wish I could lose 4.2 lbs this week!

Patience said...

YaY! Bite the butt of the computer!!

AndreAnna said...

Yay you!

You are doing great! And you look totally non-fat in that pic from your last post, btw.

Time to grow a pair and go buy new sexy pants for your new sexy self. ;)

Kathy said...

I have never gotten that message, but that is the WW way of cya I am sure. So, celebrate (with a new pair of pants - NOT cake) and enjoy this victory. You get up at 4:45 to exercise, you more than deserve those 4.2 pounds.

Danielle said...

TOTALLY AWESOME!!!

Heather said...

That is Awesome! Keep up the good work. I am a weight watchers failure. I really need to get back on it. AND I never got that message ever either cause I never lost that much in one week. I am more of the .3 pounds girl ;)

Tiffany said...

YOU ROCK!!! Way To Go!!!!!!!!!!!

FUZZARELLY said...

Awesome and enviable. Yay, you!

Geekgrl64 said...

Fantastic! Good for you! To heck with the computer and the automated message!! Brava!

M said...

Dear WW,

If this was more than a single week thing FINE give your lecture. But for the chick who works her booty off and shows all her pink panties...lets have a round of applause. YOU may not know how long and hard she's been doing this and doing it HEALTHY and how HARD it so but *I* do so bite all of us.

Love, Her beloved stalker/freaky parallel life living non sister. Without the weight loss. Damn.

Fine For Now said...

Sometimes on The Biggest L*ser they lose upwards of 10 pounds a week. How the H is that healthy!

But you. No you ROCK.

BarbJ said...

It is completely fricking awesome that you lost 4.2 lbs this week!

Can't wait to see the new pants, hint hint. LOL!

thesmallmoments said...

That is totally awesome! YEA!!!

Dawn~a~Bon said...

hells yeah! Good job on the 4.2!

J said...

Hell yeah, Chick. That rocks!!! I am so proud of you!

velocibadgergirl said...

You are kicking ass and taking names!! :D :D :D

(And that computer can shove it.)

Wenderina said...

Well done! Well done! Well done! Do you think anyone on the Biggest Loser (as they lose 14 pounds per week) is ever told that disclaimer?

Miss Remmers said...

Haha definitely - I think you should write a letter - really. Just copy and paste this - verbatim

Sally said...

That is beyond the realm of AWESOME! Congrats!!

Oh, and that computer can suck it ;)

Sarah said...

I got the same response a few weeks ago. I seriously am there with ya. I want to sometimes just go and punch the computer in the face.

Congrats on the 4.2!! That is so awesome!! You are doing such a great job.

Now only if I could do that this week. :)

Kristy said...

Yay! Good Job! I've probably lost that much this week due to a stomach virus which I'm sure is not on the list of WW approved dieting techniches...but good for you!

Anonymous said...

I saw you walking today. You are completely hot and sexy. Trust me.

Anne-Kathrine said...

Wooohooo Freaking awesome on the weightloss!!! 4.2 lbs is freaking awesome!!! Computer oh well LOL.

Katie said...

Wooo! Congratulations! *victory dance*

I'm starting the SLIMQUICK Cleanse today (it's a week long) and will be documenting the process on my blog, if you are interested in checking it out. I couldn't find any useful information about the program online so I figured I'd write it myself :) Intro post here.

I promise I'm not a spambot hehe, but this seemed like a good place to share for anybody that might be interested.

PS keep up the good work! <3

mythoughtsonthat said...

Well, I'm here to say YAY!!!!!

Peace.

SJ said...

Congrats to you for losing 4.2 pounds! That's awesome.

Jenski said...

YAY! Here's a glass of water to another 4.2 next week. :-)

Tarasview said...

You. Rock. :)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

4.2 pounds is friggin' awesome! And I'll drop that WW computer like third period French. I'm so not kidding.

Amanda Daybyday said...

I used to get that warning ALL THE TIME. And it drove me INSANE!!! I hated it because I always at all my points. Always. I was being healthy and I was a big girl, so ya, I lost more than two pounds. I know exactly what you mean. But the 4.2 pounds is totally awesome! No matter what the cover-our-butts stupid computer message says.

I am Trish Marie said...

Obviously, behind that computer is some bitter programmer who only lost 2lbs last week.

Lara said...

It's ok. I think I found the weight you lost, so it's not really lost, it's just misplaced.

Because my ass is NOT the place I want it, TYVM.

But congrats to YOU. :)

Amy W said...

My very first week on WW I lost 8 pounds, and I got the same damn message which completely pissed me off!

beyondalice said...

Congrats!!!!!!!!

Chelle said...

congrats on the 4.2 lb loss!!

I hate that automated message. Drives me batty!

Kimberly said...

Bunch of whussy butt-coverers is what they are. 4.2 in a week needs to be CELEBRATED! You rock!

PaintedPromise said...

THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!

wish i could say the same!!

la aventurista said...

WOOOHOOOOO THAT'S AWESOME! :)