Saturday, August 22, 2009

Be careful.

I always wanted to write a book. So I did.

And people liked it enough to publish it. So they did.

And then? People read it. And that was sort of like having your pants pulled down in public.

And then? More people read it and stopped talking to me. Some of them said some really ugly stuff about me (the word "hack" was prevalent). People in my own family don't even talk to me now and I lost the only close relationship I had.

I wanted to make up with people and figure things out. I wanted things to get better so I made an effort and tried. Really tried.

Now, I can only figure that people avoid us not because we're "fighting" or not talking but because I, for whatever reason, am just so repugnant to them that they'd rather not even bother.

I can't change how things are. I know that I learn and grow everyday and I really am getting better. I know this. I know that eventually I'll figure out why everything has happened the way it has. I believe that 2009 will eventually all make sense...sort of like how I know now why my ex-husband left me when I was pregnant. It really sucked then, but God was just getting him out of the way. I know that.

But consider me a cautionary tale.

Be careful what you wish for.

18 comments:

Amy said...

That's sad that people would choose not to talk to you. Their loss!

Keep smiling and doing whatever makes you happy. They can get glad in the same pants they got mad in right?

Kellie said...

Totally their loss. Do not lose any sleep, shed any tears or focus on any longer than you already have.

Do I need to cut people? I totally would!

mythoughtsonthat said...

I understand that even though it may be their loss and you should move on, there is a part of you that wants to figure it out and make things better again. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Do what you think is the right thing.

Peace.

Gerbil said...

Pphth. Repugnant? B, PLEASE. I have theories but not a single one of them involve you're being repugnant.

Jill Himitsu said...

The only reason that I don't even try to write a book is for that reason.

xoxo

Kimberly said...

Aw hun, I'm so sorry. Personally, I loved you even more after reading the book. Everyone has their own issues though, and this sort of thing...fighting, not talking...that doesn't come from you being who you are it comes from who THEY are and what's wrong in THEIR life. Problem is, when you're close, their and your intersect and there's no way there can't be casualties.

I'm not sure it can make sense though. You're a pretty tolerant and accepting person overall, and that's one of your exemplary qualities. Narrow mindedness probably won't ever make sense to you. And that kind of sucks, doesn't it?

Dawn~a~Bon said...

I'm sorry this has been so hard on you. ((HUGS))
:(

Emma in Canada said...

Well. I haven't read the book yet because it is not in Canada and even though I have told Chapters they must carry it they aren't yet...one day! However, I am quite confident that I will only love you more once I have read it.

I'm apalled that people have stopped talking to you. What is wrong with them?

Chelle said...

I can't believe people stopped talking to you. LOSERS. Definitely their loss, because you rock!

moroccojade said...

Emma, amazon.ca has it. :) I've ordered multiple copies for friends. (I'm in Vancouver.)

Anyway, Steph, I'm sorry it's been so so rough. But I repeat what the others have said. "Their loss." Hugs.

moroccojade~

Twisted Cinderella said...

That is so sad and unfair! I am so sorry that people have been that way.

SJ said...

I had no idea that writing and publishing a book would bring you so much pain. I hope you can make peace with it soon.

Reluctant Housewife said...

What was there in your book that was so terrible? I don't get it.

I think they should be happy for you.

Honestly, I'm not sure that I'd want people in my life who treated me like that. I think it's totally their loss and maybe you're better off without them. But I'm sorry it's making you unhappy. And if you truly want a relationship with them, I hope they'll get past whatever their issues are and come around.

Hugs.

Danielle said...

I just read your book last week while at the beach - I laughed so hard I cried, although I had to curb it a bit when my Baptist MIL asked to read the book next...

Ginee Scabrough said...

I am sorry those people are so worried that you will say some of their deep dark secrets... maybe they should not have so many...

Anne-Kathrine said...

Sorry to hear that people are acting that way. One thing you might want to think about is that they are jealous that you have achieved what you wanted to do. A lot of people can't say they have.

Hugs to you!!

M said...

I love you. This makes me so very very sad.

But I love you and that makes it all better. yeah. Not quite, huh?

People are hateful and you're right...eventually it will all sort out and make sense even if it's hurty and hatey and awful right now.

xoxo

Suzy Voices said...

I'm sorry that people are acting this way toward you. But maybe it's a good thing, getting rid of toxic people in your life. Hang in there! :)