I always wanted to write a book. So I did.
And people liked it enough to publish it. So they did.
And then? People read it. And that was sort of like having your pants pulled down in public.
And then? More people read it and stopped talking to me. Some of them said some really ugly stuff about me (the word "hack" was prevalent). People in my own family don't even talk to me now and I lost the only close relationship I had.
I wanted to make up with people and figure things out. I wanted things to get better so I made an effort and tried. Really tried.
Now, I can only figure that people avoid us not because we're "fighting" or not talking but because I, for whatever reason, am just so repugnant to them that they'd rather not even bother.
I can't change how things are. I know that I learn and grow everyday and I really am getting better. I know this. I know that eventually I'll figure out why everything has happened the way it has. I believe that 2009 will eventually all make sense...sort of like how I know now why my ex-husband left me when I was pregnant. It really sucked then, but God was just getting him out of the way. I know that.
But consider me a cautionary tale.
Be careful what you wish for.