Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I need help.

A dear, sweet friend of mine who was 20 weeks pregnant has lost her baby.

I have no idea what to say or do or even think. I feel destroyed. Devastated. And what I feel isn't even 1 billionth of a percent of what she feels. I know this.

I wish there was something I could do. Anything I could do. To help her. To ease her burden through this horrible tragedy that no one should ever have to bear. Especially not someone as good and kind and dear as she is.

I don't know what to do though, so I'm praying.

If you are the praying type, could you please say a prayer for her? And if you are not, can you please think good thoughts for her? Because I'm sure that she could use all she can get right now.


Hug your babies tight y'all. Appreciate all you have.

31 comments:

Nen said...

definitely lifting her up in prayer!

Patience said...

I'm sorry for both you and your friend.

MadameQueen said...

I think if you just go and BE with her, that will mean more than anything. Just knowing you are there will help a lot, I'm sure.

I'll definitely say prayers for her.

Krissie said...

We have not been able to get pregnant. And as hard as that has been, I am always thankful that I haven't had a loss. I cannot imagine her pain. Prayers have been said and will continue.

Chelle said...

I'm in the same boat as Krissie... and will definitely be keeping your friend in my thoughts. *HUGS* to you too...

Stephanette said...

Suddenly my puke soaked clothes don't seem all that important. I will pray for her and her family. I will pray that you will be able to serve her as well.

Jo said...

The best thing you can do is tell her that you love her. That helped me.

kristina said...

i remember going through something similar...the most comfort came from those who said they loved our family and would hold us in prayer. The ones who listened and didn't try to say something for the sake of saying something were so appreciated, although it meant so much that anybody would say anything to show you they cared...just feel out the moment when you see her, silence and a hug is as good as a loving word...you will know when the time comes. Know we are praying for you and her/her family-this is always so tough.

Thalassa said...

Call/write/visit and tell her you love her, that you don't know what to say, and that you're praying for her. Offer to listen if she wants to talk, then wait and see if she does.

Prayers are coming her way from my house.

Anne-Kathrine said...

Im soooo sorry to hear this. Candle lit and prayers on the way!

Dawn~a~Bon said...

I'm full of crying today. I really hope nobody comes by my desk and sees me. I don't know what to do but pray and feel helpless. I am so hurt and angry and sad. I wish that I could WILL what happened away and make everything right again.

queenrandom said...

I just can't stop being angry.

I know she's far away, but any love we can send her way will help.

moroccojade said...

What Dawn said above. I'm dying inside.

Meredith said...

A few things...

- acknowledge her loss. gestation doesn't matter, she lost a child.
- be there for her.
- remember important days, like mother's day, the baby's EDD, etc. send her a card or call her to let her know you're thinking about her.

There is a site called Heavenly Angels In Need that has a bereavement forum. We also offer things like burial garments and memory boxes for free. All she has to do is ask. (I volunteer with them.) The site is www.heavenlyangelsinneed.com. Send me a msg on FB if you want more info.

PaintingChef said...

I'm so sorry Stephanie. I'm sending your friend healing and loving thoughts. Having been in her exact same position I will share with you what was more comforting than I could have ever imagined.

One of my friends came over one day, she didn't call first, she didn't ask, she just showed up. And when she showed up she didn't try and say any of the things that people say when they think they are helping. She didn't say "it wasn't meant to be" or that "maybe there was something wrong with the baby" or that it was "God's plan".

She sad it sucked. And it was unfair. She encouraged me to be angry and to cry. She let me throw things and feel sorry for myself. She didn't try to help or make me feel better, she just... listened and allowed me to be messy in my grief and anger. And then she brought me brownies.

It takes a brave person to do that but I healed more in those few hours than I had in the days before she came over. Everyone is different, I know. But for me? That was perfect.

Mikey said...

I'm so very sorry. We'll include her in our prayers. I know the feeling, I lost one at 28 weeks and it destroyed me. Tough to come back from. Just be there for her if you can. Just listen and care, that's all you can do.

Alpha Dude said...

Okay. Praying.
For her and for you.
'Cause, you are a really good friend to have.

Bless you.

Lil Mouse said...

prayed a heartfelt prayer for her.

mythoughtsonthat said...

Praying.

Peace to you.

Wenderina said...

This sad post reminded me of a sad tale from my past. See my blog.

And of course, my heartfelt thoughts go out to your friend in her loss.

Rachel said...

Tell her you are praying Romans 8:26:
In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

It's a good verse to give someone when you don't know what to say, but you know God knows what you mean anyway.

Twisted Cinderella said...

As I hug my 20 week pregnant belly, my thoughts and prayers are with your friend.

ZDub said...

Keeping your friend in peaceful thoughts.

Catherine said...

I'll pray for her and her family too.

SJ said...

Absolutely, I'll be thinking good thoughts for her and for you.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Ooof. 20 weeks. I can't even fathom it. I will keep her in my hopes and thoughts. And you as well. Much love, darlin'!

Maggie said...

Hang in there. As you remember, the pain never goes away but the dealing with it gets easier with time.

M said...

Just reading this again makes me cry. The world is so unfair. I wish there was anything to do to help but you're right...there is nothing but prayer and love and remember her and her son as the whole and beautiful people they are. And that husband of hers too. i cannot imagine the place he is in. I love you for posting this for added prayers. I emailed my church. I still feel like there's nothing I can do. *insert broken heart here*

Anonymous said...

Tell her you're there for her. Ask her if she needs anything. Let her know that no request is too large or too small.

Tell her you don't know what to say. That's so much better than saying nothing.

She needs honesty. She needs normalcy. She needs her friends even though they don't know what to say. Don't disappear, and follow her lead.

I'll say a prayer for her and her family.

Kelly said...

I'm so so sorry for your friend. I lost my baby a few months ago at 18 weeks. It is a horrible tragedy. Just be there for her. She needs her friends now. Even if she says she doesn't. Even if she pushes everyone away. I'm so sorry.

PaintedPromise said...

behind on reading blogs but will definitely add your friend - AND YOU! - to my prayer list... it has been 28 years since my miscarriage and reading this still brings it back and makes me cry... but it was a good thing too, because if that baby had lived, i would not have ever known my oldest daughter (who was conceived two months before the first one would have been born)...

even though it's been a long time, for me, a big hug was the best medicine... no words necessary! actually still works to this day...

my heart goes out to all of you!