-What is UP with people offering me work lately? I seriously have had like three offers this week! Which, in case it needs to be said? TOTALLY ROCKS. I must have good karma or something. Yay!
-Sadly? This asston of work? Is really cutting into my sleeping/laundry/exercise/sitting on my hiney/cooking/being a responsible citizen time.
-Do you see this dog? I freaking love her even though her farts smell like something crawled up her butt, died, the corpse was dragged out by the ghost of whatever died and then the ghost vomited on it.
Because she's so cute, people don't believe she's nasty. But Ms. Jackson? She's nasty.
-Why does Twitter suck so much? I mean, I love it. But it sucks. It goes down approximately every thirty-five seconds. You can't do much with that, can you? I didn't think so.
BEGIN COMMERCIAL, SHIELD YOUR EYES IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE!
-I have some cool swag I'm giving away on my review blog and I have a bunch of emails offering me even more cool swag. If you want to win some cool swag, you should look at it. If you want to be a douchebag, you should leave me alone. kthanksbye!
-New favorite phrases:
"Every one of all y'all are WRONG!"
"Make awkward sexual advances...not war."
"Those police! They can never take a joke."
"No matter what you do, someone is always trying to call the law!"
-I have all these plans and goals and crap and they are REALLY annoying to others. I can't help it. The man can't keep me down! Or, you know, whatever.
-Today was not a total win. But it was close.
Every one of all y'all have a good one!