Shortly after I met Jason I noticed a very curious thing about him. It's something he would be loathe to admit and something I don't think he recognizes in himself at all.
He really thinks that most people are good and decent.
Several years ago I used to believe the same way he does. I honestly thought that most people were good and decent and wouldn't try to hurt me. A few years of being dumped while pregnant, screwed over in job situations, and almost killed daily while trying to drive to work has convinced me otherwise.
Jason? Not so much.
I was amazed, when I met him, how some members of his family treated him. He seemed to accept this treatment as part of their relationship and never really said or did anything about it. It really surprised me because he is the most take-charge kind of person I've ever met. If someone is going to complain about a product or service, it will be him. He manages a group of people and is not hesitant to tell someone if they are not pulling their weight. If people don't pay their bills he, you know, goes and collects their car.
But with family? And people he considers friends? Not so much.
He had to get to the point with his family in which he was tired of them hurting me before he was motivated to act. I, of course, was infuriated the whole time because they were hurting him. I could not stand the fact that they were hurting him. But he just took it in stride and went on and said, "That's just the way they are."
Finally, after a heated conversation with one of his family members in which I was called a bitch and he was told that I was "just trying to take him away from his family" he finally snapped, made it perfectly clear that *I* was his family and that was the end of it. He's not spoken to them since then.
I thought that would change him, maybe and make things a little different. But apparently not.
I met someone who is a former co-worker of his and immediately I knew I didn't like the guy. Do you ever get that feeling when meeting someone? Just a feeling like, I'm not sure this person is on the up and up? Maybe this person has something to hide? Maybe this isn't the most honest person?
Yeah, I got all of that and more when I met this guy.
Not only that, but he totally ignored me and my children and only spoke to Jason. And I'm sorry, we live in the South and that's just plain rude.
Anyway, later I told Jason, "I don't like that guy."
He was geniunely surprised. I said, "I don't trust him. He's shady."
He didn't see it.
He still didn't see it when the shady guy offered him money for referrals (they are competitors for frog's sake).
He still didn't see it when the shady guy stole his own personnel file.
He still didn't see it when the shady guy said he "lost" his key to the office.
So last night, when he told me his best employee resigned because he was courted to go work for (guess who) the shady guy, I think he finally saw it.
And it was to late.
I was angry at him, at first, for not seeing this was going to happen, and angry at him for caring so much about people and trying so hard to be a good person when the people around him would never do the same for him. But I felt sad for him, and today I feel both sad and angry. Because he's a good man. He's a good, honest, decent, ethical man and people hurt him because of it.
I said to him, "Please don't ever lose your ethics. Even if everyone around you does."
He promised me he wouldn't.
I know he won't. It's one of the main reasons that I love him.
But really. Why do so many people have to suck?