Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Love is not just blind. It's deaf and stupid also.

My commute is a source of great discontent in my life.

Every day at approximately the butt crack of dawn, I have to get out of bed, get my two children out of bed and ready to go, drive them to school and then drive for forty-five minutes to get to work. This? Is on a good day. On a bad day, it’s more like an hour. Most of the time? It's a bad day. The traffic reports say things like, "The latest wreck of the morning is at such and such." Yeah. The latest one. That's not including the twenty that have already happened.

The thing that is the most annoying? Technically, I’m only about 23 miles from where I work. But the traffic? Oh. The. Traffic.

Coming home? At least an hour. If things are going well. Generally? They are not going well.

I don’t complain (much) about this because I have a good job, in terms of pay, and living in Tennessee has always meant, for me, a commute. When I lived in North Carolina it took me three minutes to get from my home to my office. Even less to get to college. I could literally walk to campus from where I lived (not that I DID walk or anything). But, I had to deal with the fact that I lived right in the middle of EVERYTHING, whereas now, I live in the middle of well, nothing. Except rednecks and unruly children of course. But it’s nice to have a yard and land and things like that.

When I was younger, I lived in this state (different city). I lived in City A and worked in City BFE because there were no jobs in City A. To be fair, I don’t believe there was even a stoplight in City A. But I also had to drive through City K to get to City BFE. Because City K didn’t have any jobs either.

But it’s part of living here. For me anyway.

My husband? His office is approximately 8 minutes from our house, which means he can get there in like, three.

He does not get my extreme frustration regarding the excessive amount of driving I have to do. Sometimes he says things like, “You like to drive!”

Yes, indeed. I do like driving. I do not, however, like buttnuggets who are driving twenty miles below the speed limit in the fast lane. And if those people and I are driving at the same time? There will be lots and lots of trouble.

This week he is helping out another office which is in a town approximately thirty miles away, as the crow flies. Last night he came home and said,

Gah! I never want to have a forty-five minute commute again! This is ridiculous! If I get this store, we will HAVE to move closer!”

I turned around and looked at him to make sure that I wasn’t, you know, drunk or something.

He poured his water as though he didn’t just say something deserving of a crotch punch.

“Yeah, I know. I would never want a commute like that,” I deadpanned.

He was silent for a moment.

Then he said, “How long is your commute?”

I said, “At least an hour in the evenings.”

He was quiet for a moment and then said, hopefully.

“I love you?”



Angie said...

Yeah. . . .but he's YOUR butthead.

. . . and he loves you.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what made me laugh more: buttnuggets, crotch punch or the butthead ending.

I had a 45 minute drive several years ago. But, it was easy. Not much traffic. When I moved to where I live now, I had to drie approximately 18 miles to get to work and it would take me a minimum of 45 minutes. Stupid people.

J said...

I hate commuting. Here, in our town, there is only like 100k people. A relatively small town. When 87% of those people are ALL headed to the same spot (post, mainly) at the SAME time?

Oh. Bloody. Hell.

I feel your pain.

frannie said...

hubby's office is about 20 minutes away-- but with traffic, it takes him about 1 1/2 hours... Atlanta traffic sucks, too

Mrs. Booms said...

Buttnugget? Makes me smile for purely nostalgic reasons. I have a similar commute. My husband hates it. Me? I tolerate it. So it goes... snort, buttnugget... ha ha.

Anonymous said...

At least he admitted, at least kind of, that you had a point.

My hubby would still be trying to find a way to prove his was worse than mine.

My last commute was an hour to an hour fifteen. Now I'm at home and poor. But my commute?

Twenty steps from the couch to the refrigerator!

BS said...

12 miles is all I have to go ... but it takes 1/2 hour to 45 min. each morning. Tonight - 2 1/2 freaking hours !! People (tractor trailers that crash and burn) shouldn't have accidents during rush hour !! Live in town or live in the country? Even with the commute, I think you live in the right place.

Edie said...

The commutes where I live in NC suck as well. When there is no traffic, I can get to work in 15 minutes... when there is traffic - like every rush hour - it takes well over 30. Still, I feel for you... I would drive myself crazy in the car for 45 each way.

Sabrina said...

I used to live in Los Angeles, now that's traffic.

My husband would complain about the traffic in NC till I took him to LA and he was stuck on the 101 freeway for 1 hour to move 30 miles. After that, he didn't complain anymore.

Speaking of dumb love, last year I was in the hospital due to some female problems. My husband insisted on coming to see me every night after he put the kids to sleep (we got a babysitter and his mom came over to help) he came one night, looking really sad and tired...and said "honey, you just can't die on me". So here I am thinking "wow, this is true love..."..till he said "I just can't handle the kids without you."


Dreamer said...

ewwww...tennessee is horrible for traffic. but so was DC. and so is Savannah, geez. these people have got to learn to walk.

the buttnuggets, i mean.

because that would cut the commute to what? 10 minutes? 20?

Patiently waiting said...

Hilarious, it's funny how things change when the shoe is on the other foot, lol.

Anonymous said...

Love the whole deal! I used to live in TN, too--in City A with no jobs and a commute of an hour to City BFE with a bunch of jobs. Commuting stinks, no matter where you do it. I now do the 12-mile, 30-minute commute, which makes me more crazy than the hour commute used to, just because the people driving at the same time are so much more EVIL. Anyway, loved your sense of humor on the whole thing. I get the same "I love you?" response... haha!

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

What's sad is how much quicker he caught on than most guys would. Definitely one of the lesser buttheads. A treasure, really.

Unknown said...

I don't know what made me laugh more: buttnuggets, crotch punch or the butthead ending. I so DITTO K!

And, Shouldn't that have been It's deaf, DUMB, and stupid? Cause men? Are so dumb sometimes.

I love me some traffic, too. Mmm...hmmm.

Alpha Dude said...


Unknown said...

Yeah, but he said, "I love you," instead of, "What?".

Commutes suck.

Kim said...

I hate traffic like that.

Anonymous said...

Worst part of my entire day. I thought we'd have flying cars by now, dammit!

Unknown said...

buttnuggets, buttheads, crotch punch?

Lmao. Honestly, I can't stop laughing, but bless your heart for the long miserable commute.

my4kids said...

The hubby and I used to have the same type of discussions when I was working. I always had a minimum of an hour drive depending on where I was working sometimes even more and that was with good traffic....which in the city never happens. I laugh at him now when he says he doesn't want to move to the south end of our little town because then he'd have a longer drive to and from work....umm it really only takes about 15 minutes to get through the town! Also the road out of town really doesn't go that far. Here in Ketchikan there is one main road and it's only 30 miles long so you are never going any farther then that!

Anonymous said...

Oh commuting... I only have a 25 mn one now. After doing 1.25 hours (minimum) each way for many years, I so love my commute now. Once, when it snowed, my commute ended up being four hours long. I think that was the day my mind officially snapped.

SJINCO said...

I despise traffic. I hated living in the area I used to live in because of traffic.

Now I wouldn't change a thing.

Wenderina said...

Alarm clock for 5AM wakeup - $8

Two tanks of gas a week - $75

Brake jobs every other month to compensate for stop and go commuter traffic - $250

Buttnuggets, Crotchpunches, and Butthead husband jokes to amuse by blog readers - priceless.

Anonymous said...

OMG, I totally feel you on the commute thing. I started my current job in July, and I drive 35 miles one way. It's completely unpredictable, how long it will take me to get to work. Like you, 45-50 minutes is the the standard, although lately an hour has been more like it. Coming home? Just like you said, at least an hour.

At my last job, 15 minutes, on a bad day. But I was so miserably unhappy there.

As much as I hate the commute and the hours spent sitting on my butt in the car, not to mention the miles adding up on my new car, I'd rather do that than have to go to work at my old job. Ugh.

Real Life in South Carolina said...

I take it you didn't say, "I love you too" ???

CPA Mom said...

I just came home on Friday and told HP, "THis commute is Wearing.Me.Down." It's not the drive, it's the other people! I get it. I do.

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

I live about 7 miles from work. It takes me, no kidding, 45 minutes to an hour every morning. Evenings are a tad better at about 30 minutes.

Buttnuggets made me snort!