Thursday, November 29, 2007

You wish you were my husband.

Jason: What do you want for Christmas?

Chick: I dunno. Pajamas?

Jason: Chick, how many pair of pajamas do you OWN?

Chick, thinking: Eleven hundred?

Jason: Do you really want more pajamas or are you just saying that because it's easy?

Chick: I just like saying the word "pajamas", I think. It's such a happy, happy word. It's all like, "Sleep! I'm coming to see you! Yay!"

Jason, frustrated: Well, what do you really want?

Chick: I have no idea. NOT car parts.

Jason: Why do you say that?

Chick: Because for the first several major gift-giving occasions? You gave me car parts.

Jason, thinking: Did I?

Chick: Yes. You gave me windshield wiper blades and then? Hubcaps. And after that? One time? You called up my dad and invited everyone over and I was so freaking sure you were going to propose and you brought me into the dining room and everyone gathered around and you told me to close my eyes? And when I opened them instead of the diamond ring I was totally expecting? You gave me a t.v.

Jason, howling with laughter.

Chick, continuing: And I was all like, "MOTHER OF ASS!"

Jason: What does that have to do with car parts?

Chick: Nothing. I'm just saying.

Jason, continuing to howl with laughter.

Chick, pretending to be hurt: Oh sure! Mock my pain!

Minutes pass. Laughter subsides.

Jason: LOVE t.v.

Chick: That's not the point! When you think it's a diamond ring and it's a t.v.? NOT SO MUCH.

Minutes pass.

Jason: I was a really bad boyfriend, wasn't I?

Chick: You know that's right.


CPA Mom said...

I'm the one screaming in laughter now. Tehehehehe

Dreamer said... guys are so funny. Poor Jason, he did so wrong. LOL.

Denise said...

Yeah I am hoeling with laughter too. Car parts smirk. Well at least you get stuff. My husband doesn't get me Dick. Not for Christmas, not for my birthday, not for an anniversary. Nothing.

frannie said...

I hope he has been schooled since then! :)

Mrs. Booms said...

Oh good lord woman, that's hysterical.

Anonymous said...

The car parts story? Made me laugh really, really hard. Because my hubby? Was supposedly his grandparents favorite. But one year for Christmas? They gave him four tires for his truck. His younger sister? They gave her a brand new Chevrolet Trailblazer SUV. The following Christmas? They bought Sweetie Pie a back door for our house, because our old one was rotted out. His younger sister? You guessed it. They bought her a FREAKING three-bedroom house.

I was expecting the next year that we'd get a pound of sand and that they bought her a freaking private island. Favorite, my ass.

Unknown said...

My husband once gave me a bicycle pump for Christmas.

He learned never to do that again.
But he still laughs at the memory of the 'look on my face'.

At 7 mos spermination expansion? I had a pregnant lady meltdown.

You know, lots of tears and snot and heaving. I got a gold watch for Valentines. (bwaaahaa)

Anonymous said...

My favorite gift from a boyfriend (that never made it to husband status)? A New York Yankees belt buckle... the size of a dinner plate. Um, yeah.

Not so much. I'm with you on the T.V. vs. diamond ring thing. I'm glad Jason is working on improving in the gift-giving department.

Because I have to say, he's pretty much got the "emotionally available" part nailed...

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I am laughing so so hard. Glad you trained some smarts into him!

Jocelyn said...

So you're getting a blender for Christmas?

SJINCO said...

Hahaha, car parts. That's almost as good as getting a vacuum cleaner.

Roxanne said...

I bet I can top the car parts. One year, in my stocking, I received.....a toilet bowl cleaner. Yep. One of those that hangs on the inside of the tank and turns the water blue. I have never let him live that one down mostly so it will never ever happen again.

Emma in Canada said...

At least he asks what you want for Christmas. William? Not so much. I just stick pictures of things on the fridge.

Angie said...


I got a vacuum cleaner for our 6-month anniversary gift.

Jason. . .hilarious.

my4kids said...

I laughed out loud and the hubby looked at me funny when I read this. Kelly is a mechanic. I could so see him giving me something like that!

Unknown said...

Yeah, but a TV is a pretty damn fine present.

EE said...

They don't have a clue!!!!