Jason got a letter.
I struggled about if I should even blog about this. But it is what it is, and I feel like I need to get this out.
Jason wants to respond to this letter.
I don't know how to feel.
My head is kind of spinning with this whole thing. On the one hand, I want this to be resolved. One way or another.
On the other? I don't like confrontation. I don't like rehashing all of this.
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28 comments:
I hope he just ignores it. From the past, it sounds like she is just trying to cause trouble. I would say it doesn't deserve a response.
The reply could be brief. "Didn't realize you'd be scared. Next time we'll have her leave a note on her kitchen counter. Have a great day. Bye." For sure, if she's as toxic as she seems, I would not engage with her or get into agreements to call first or anything at all. Dang. I love the promotion though. THAT seriously is AWESOME. I hope you can avoid getting a second job, that the promo involves $$. love, Val
I say ignore it. You have to be better than they are. It sounds like Grandma is an independent person who has enough of her marbles left that she lives on her own and doesn't have to answer to anyone when she goes anywhere. It is up to Grandma to let Jason's mom and sister know that she was going somehwere; it's not Jason's responsibility. Unless Grandma is slightly senile and doesn't know to do the right thing.
IMHO, rseponding to the letter just brings you guys down to her level. Your first reaction is to defend yourself, but you didn't do anything wrong so there's nothing to respond to. Jason's mom is the one who thought you did something wrong. That's on her.
I would forward the letter to Grandma. She should know what kind of jail warden she has. And BTW, congrats on Jason's promotion. What great timing!
I think a response indicates that you're willing to begin some sort of relationship. If you're not, then don't!
And congrats on the promotion. Does that mean you can quit your second job? Before you get one, I mean.
I'm in the "ignore childish behavior" camp too, although I'd be tempted to suggest if she believes taking grandma for dinner is a danger to grandma's safety she get a restraining order. The truth is she's pissed because she wants to be the one in control of every detail of the lives of every person around her. Jason isn't playing the game by her rules and she's throwing a two-year-old temper tantrum.
good grief.
perhaps you could pay someone to throw a baggie of dog poop on her door step?
just kidding. mostly.
I'm just feeling bitter because my in-laws suck too.
They are being so incredibly immature and hateful. If you don't like confrontation (neither do I), then I suggest you let Jason do it. Let him write it all out (so that he has a chance to edit himself) and get it all out on the table.
His battle.
I'm sorry they are being so nasty with you. Your great.
I agree that it's up to Jason to deal with this. Can't believe his mum found a way to reinitate contact and is still being such a schmuck about everything.
the mom is pissy because he didn't try to hang out with her instead.
that's all it is.
Just when you think. . . .
Don't respond! She's looking for a response - that's why she wrote. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing she can get to you. Even a nice letter from you lets her know that she can mail you and have an effect.
Maybe you did the wrong thing you dumb cunt. Did it ever occur to you that maybe she was scolding you because you put HER MOTHER in a potentially dangerous situatuion?
I think that Jason should write the letter and state exactly how you stated here, how things went down. You all called grandma, asked her to dinner, went to pick her up and then took her back home. End of story. Nothing bad or decietful, just having dinner with grandma while we were in town.
I am sure that she is disappointed that Jason did not call her and if she is anything like my husband's x wife (and the way you discribe her, she is) she thinks that she has done nothing wrong, she thinks that all she ever did was "love him".
I am sorry you have such a stinky mother in law.
Well, it's up to Jason I think. But I? Would completely ignore it. Why waste air or paper on someone that is clearly just looking for a fight.
Are we voting? Shoot, if there were a vote box up I'd vote for it to be filed. Away. No reply necessary. Do you really think that his mother will hear anything that either of you have to say about how you feel about her letter? She wanted to rile both of you up and if you respond then she won!
Jason is a good man and will do what he believes is the right thing to do.
In my experience, I had felt it best, in that particular situation, to justlet it go and do nothing. No reponse.
She needed to speak her piece and she did. I refused to dignify her anger and venomous attacks with a response.
But that was just me.
Blessings.
cased the joint. his grandma's house. hehe.
It's all about power. She has none over you and is trying to reassert it. What would you gain by responding to her? If you think she'll read it and you'll have something to gain, then write to her, else just put it in the "file drawer" aka trashcan, where it probably belongs.
Oh yes, anonymous, taking someone out to dinner is super dangerous!! I should probably be reported to child services because, I have actually done that to my own kids. Whew, I'm glad you pointed out that it is dangerous. From now on, it's dinners at home and possibly no leaving the house at all!
How retarded. I'm pretty sure his grandmother is an adult and can go out to dinner if she wants. I mean if she lives on her own she certainly is capable of living her life. Not like you were out to dinner for 24 hours. SOunds like his mother just wanted to be a bitch.
I just wanted to do a little education, here, without blaming or putting anyone down. The previous commenter used a phrase that is all too common these days -- "how retarded." People use this phrase without realizing how demeaning this is to people with developmental disabilities.
I work for an organization that provides services for adults with developmental disabilities, and people just don't realize that using the "r" word ("retarded") is just as insulting as using the "N" word to a black person.
So if I could just provide a little education today, without putting anyone down. Most people use this without the intent of malice, as I'm sure the previous commenter did. People don't realize what a put down it is to people with developmental disabilities when people use that word.
Thanks for letting me pass this along!
Wow. Nice. I love how the attitude in this country is that if you're elderly (and not stricken with Alzheimer's or dementia) then you can't look after yourself and you're like a kid with no permission to live your own life or keep your own company. I don't know. I'm just evil enough to call grandma and let her know about the letter. :)
Chin up, Chick. It will all come out in the wash.
Well, if it were me, I would totally WANT TO respond and let her have it, however, it will bug her more if you don't. But it is Jason's call.
Anonymous is seriously pissing me off. I can't stand it when people talk tough behind the "anonymous" name. Seriously, have the balls to say who you are if your gonna throw crap like that out there. Plus "anonymous" needs to learn how to spell. I wouldn't be calling anyone stupid when you can't even spell "situation". I guess that makes anonymous a "stupid cu*t".
I don't like people who make you feel guilty for doing a good thing?!
don't kidnap old ladies it just isn't very nice :)
gots to love the crazy MIL, actually I do love the letter it is waaay better than a crazy phone call which is what we get in those insane moments.
ok here i am, the other day blogger wouldn't give me this box to post a comment! but i wanted to share some advice that a gal i know gave to a guy on our horse forum who is having family problems... she said:
"Family members are no better and no worse than any other people we might know. The hassle is that most of us have been taught that, just because they are "family" we are supposed to have special feelings for them, no matter how you are treated by them. My suggestion is to take an honest look at each person, ask yourself if you would be involved with that person if they weren't related to them, and treat them accordingly." wish i could claim this advice as my own, it's good isn't it! i am going to take it to heart with regard to my own family and my in-laws...who are not as bad as yours but for heaven's sake i wish they would leave us in peace... (they don't like my horses for some odd reason!)
okay i know its the middle of july in your blog time and really its august, so this may all come out further along in the reading, but i would say you keeping out of it is a great idea. my hubby and his dad are estranged and no matter how many times small town people get nosy, i say that its his business what kind of relationship he has with his father. end of story. that shuts them up really fast. that's not your deal of course, but maybe it will help? oh and congrats on that promotion. awesome for you guys!
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