Due to the mayhem and foolishness of the past few days, I have spent a great deal of time studying my SiteMeter. In doing so, I found the following searches which brought people to my blog.
1) Bleach his asshole
O! M! G!
I swear. I SWEAR. I have never, ever, EVER talked about bleaching anyone's asshole. I've never even THOUGHT about that.
JAY-SUS.
2) Need to lose weight
Get in line, sister. Get in line.
3) Jason loves Jesus
Hysterically? This was my very own husband. I swear to Fred, he really thinks this is the name of my blog. At any rate he found it. And he reads it from time to time.
4) therapist in NC
I don't know any. I know some people in North Carolina who desperately NEED a good therapist and I know of a good therapist in East Tennessee. But I can't make those two things match up no matter what I do.
5) MY LIFE SUCKS BECAUSE I LOVE GOD
Um. What?
6) i love jason and he doesn't know
I'll tell him! I don't think he cares though!
7) don't love my husband anymore and want to leave
For the love of God, don't cheat before you leave. On this blog that causes a whole bunch of crap. And if you're leaving because he's gotten fat? Well, you suck.
8) maury povich show overweight child
I love Maury. He'd probably let me on his show, don't you think? I could confront my ex-husband and say, "I'm 2000 percent sure you are the father!"
But I hate my ex-husband and don't want to bother. So there's that.
9) anal beeds
Bitch, please.
It's anal BEADS. Get it right.
10) mom doesn't love me
Dude. I'm sorry. I feel the same way.
Not about you. About my own mom. Just wanted to make that clear.
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18 comments:
LOL. I totally need one of those Site Meter dealies :)
That is HIlarious!! Especially the part about not cheating cause we don't like those mofu's around here! LOL
You crack me up...
Seriously? Who even thinks of anal bleaching?
Jason Loves Jesus- LOL :) I need a site meter too!
Anal Beeds. Ha! That one took the cake.
You always know how to make me smile!
OMG that is too funny!!!
rolling over here.. but what else is new when i read your blog... :d
Anal Beeds, that is the funniest shit I've read in awhile.
Okay, those are hilarious all on their own, and you totally doubled the funny.
BA HA HA!!! I need to go look at mine now. This is FAB. :)
They all cracked me up. But, the "Jason Loves Jesus" one made me laugh the most.
Your husband is just funny.
the freaks come out and play!
I love that Jason never remembers the name of your blog.
hysterical.
seriously.
do you twitter? if you do I should totally be following you just to hear bits of funny throughout my otherwise rather un-funny day!
thanks.
Damn girl. I'm sitting in an airport in Charlotte NC waiting for a thrice delayed flight and man did this post make me laugh - out loud - spitting flat diet coke out of my mouth and dribbling on my brand new laptop.
Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! That was just awesome. And every damned time you type "bitch please" I laugh my ass off. :)
WHOA!!! WTF is with #1???!!!!
ok HOW does one acquire a site meter?????
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