My favorite place to walk is a park/greenway near my house, on the river.
It's really beautiful. There are dozens of trails so even though I often walk in the same place, I can walk a different path.
There are people who walk nearly every day. Most people stick to a particular path. Maybe they've walked them all and that's the one they like the best? I don't know. But they always seem the same.
The two skinny,bitchy girls on bikes are always on the death path. I call it the death path because I always feel like death after I walk it. Also? I usually fall down because that crap is REALLY FULL OF ROCKS. And also, I'm very clumsy.
The elderly couple who has an arthritic dog (named Spot, no less) is always on the cornfield path. They and their arthritic dog always lap me. Those two hundred year old people are in good shape, apparently.
The buff guy who thinks he's hotter than he actually is is always on the riverside path.
The new mom is always on the sidewalk path.
And so on.
I've said hello to all of these people. The elderly couple always wants to talk to me a lot, the bitchy girls are, well, bitchy, and don't talk to me at all except when they get right up on me and then shout to announce themselves (because apparently I'm deaf and can't hear their loud asses coming up on me). The new mom and I always have something friendly to say to one another. The buff guy usually manages a hello.
You get the picture.
The other day I was walking on the cornfield path. I saw the elderly couple and they didn't talk to me like they usually do. They didn't ask me for the hinty billionth time what my dog's name was or if my husband was in this band that plays at Dollywood that they "seen this one time".
But I thought, whatever. They're old. Maybe they've forgotten who I am. People I've known for years forget me. I'm forgettable! No big.
I came upon a group of ladies who were probably in their 60's. And? For some unknown reason? Had a cat with them.
I said, "Hey there!"
They all stared at me.
I saw two young teenage boys. They stared at me. When I got past them, they started laughing.
Then? I started getting pissed.
Because, okay, yeah. I get it. I'm fat. Ha, ha. Fat people are FREAKING HILARIOUS. I know. It's socially acceptable to laugh at fat people, right? It's perfectly cool to laugh at some fat ass walking her dog on the path (doing a 20 minute mile, mind you!) because her face is red and she's breathing heavily and her ass is jiggly, right?
I was pissed. Super pissed. I was pissed all the way back to the car.
And when I got back to the car? I caught a glimpse of myself in my sideview mirror.
And realized I was wearing this shirt: