Sunday, November 02, 2008

Bitch, please.

I was going to write about something completely different today, but then I went to the grocery store (which is apparently a breeding ground for stupidity) and I have to write about this instead.

Someone in the grocery store decided to call me on the fact that my child said something about a television program that she apparently watches HERSELF and thought that my child shouldn't watch.

Even though she, clearly, has not taken my child to raise.

What the hell? Seriously?

I was going to let it roll off my back. My child is kind, loving, polite and respectful. He was standing there holding my coupons and making conversation with me when she decided to butt in. He makes good grades in school, is a kick-ass artist, and never gives me a moment of trouble. He is a good freaking kid, no matter what he watches on the television. And, shockingly enough, he actually knows the difference between what is on television and what is reality.

I guess I am just really puzzled as to why people think it's their right and privilege to make judgements on others about the way they decide to raise their children. My kids don't watch High School Musical or horror movies or even Hannah Montana, but I don't care if your kids do. I take walks with my kids and practice math flash cards and take them on long nature hikes in Cades Cove, but I don't care if you don't. If your child comes to my house in a "Sexy Witch" costume for Halloween do you know what I'm going to say? I'm going to say, "Here you go darlin', have a Snickers bar". Because even though I wouldn't let Girl Child wear a Sexy Witch costume or a pair of pants with the words "Hottie" on the butt, I'm not going to judge you if you let your daughter wear that. Last time I checked, I wasn't Jesus Christ nor was I wearing any type of judicial robe, so I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified to pass any kind of judgement on anybody.

I understand that I get judged all the time because of the things I write in this blog. People email me and say I shouldn't say things like, "Holy Moses on a Bicycle". People email me and are appalled that my daughter calls a penis a penis instead of, hell I don't know, "wee-wee" or some crap. People say "Your husband should do this" and people start crap with me about anything from not chasing my ex-husband all over the world and trying to force him to have a relationship with my kids to where I go to church.

I put myself out there. I get that. I expect it.

But when I'm minding my own business, in the grocery store, looking at the Healthy Choice frozen entrees and trying to decide between chicken and french bread pizza? Bitch, please.

It doesn't matter. I'm officially over this. I'm going to live my life and raise my kids and yes, they are still going to watch Family Guy and say things like "vagina" and laugh hysterically when someone farts. They are also going to grow up and be really nice, really smart, really respectful people who are completely secure in the knowledge that their mom loves them and did everything she could to do to give them a good life.

So if you don't like how I raise my children, don't bother to say anything to me.

I'm not going to do anything differently.


BandK said...

The audacity of people never fails to amaze me. I mean, I certainly have my opinion of parents who let their young children watch Children of the Corn or Saw 5 or whatever at the theater, and it is something I'd never let a five-year-old do, but I certainly wouldn't actually go up to someone and force my opinion on that parent. Geez.

I am not above, a little passive-aggressiveness though. Our next door neighbors smoke, and we live in an apartment. They walk around outside in front of our apartment, smoking their cigarettes, and if our windows are open, the smoke gets into our apartment and stinks up our place. I HATE the smell of cigarette smoke, mind you. So what I decided to do, was open our windows, and close the blinds. As soon as I heard they were outside smoking, I called my mom on the phone and started chatting with her. Pretty soon I was talking about our neighbors, and how nice they were, but how unfortunate it was that they smoked and stunk up our apartment with the smoke that drifted into our apartment. What I've found about smokers, is that if you confront them directly, they get angry when you ask them to please smoke somewhere else. But by having them "overhear" how much their smoking negatively impacts our lives. You know what? They haven't smoked outside our windows since. And they're not mad at us, either. Yay!! :-)

Keetha said...

I'm with you - why is it okay - or do some people think it's okay - to make comments like these? There are all kinds of things over folks do that I may mildly to heartily disagree with but guess what? NONE OF MY BUSINESS, the end, period, amen.

I have enough going on in my own little world to burn energy trying to manage everybody else's.

Unknown said...

There's a special place in hell for judgy bitches like that. Perhaps looking in a mirror for eternity? Some self-reflection might go a long way for them. I loved how you turned it around on her. Beautiful.

SJINCO said...

I would have said to her "Oh, I'm sorry were you talking to me, cause I don't recall asking you for your opinion."

Seriously? I would have taken offense to, without a doubt. People in today's day and age just need to mind their own business. I mean isn't that problem anyway? Too many people are too wrapped up in what other people are doing and tend to forget that they need to worry about themselves.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

I personally LOVE how you're raising your children, because they're some of the nicest, happiest kids I've ever met. Who the hell does that woman think she is? Yeah. Bitch, please.

queenrandom said...

Good LORD that woman needs to remove the plank from her own eye.

She's a bitch-a-rooni-dooni.

Zephyr said...

I certainly wouldn't judge you. For a couple reasons...

1) I'd be the one in the sexy witch costume with the panties that say hottie on them. And I'm sure you wouldn't say a word about how I should dress my age.

2) My son not only quotes Family Guy... he also quotes South Park. And again, I'm sure you wouldn't judge that either.

In my book? What makes you the really great person that you are is that you *don't* judge.

Stay just exactly who you are.

Suzy said...

My sister and I were brought up half in the US and half in Paris. Naked bodies are not ever hidden in Europe. You see them in magazines, metro stops etc. We didn't turn out to be strippers or pervs. We learned it was normal. There is not a lot of rape in Europe. Gee, I wonder why?

Do what you want since it seems to be working JUST fine. God, people can be annoying.

Anonymous said...

Ya know, the most tender hearted, civilized, courteous child I've ever raised has been a huge Simpson's fan since he was like ...four. I don't know why he loved it, but he did, and maybe he got the jokes, but probably he didn't, not for a long time... we speculated that the reason he was so sweet was that he lived vicariously through Bart and so had no need to be a wise guy himself, lol.

He's 16 now and has finally found his sarcastic side, and even though it catches us by surprise sometimes, we can't help but laugh. It's about time.

I've been told all about various things regarding my kids over the years, blah, blah, blah, and I'll tell you about this because it helps me. Someone gets up in my bubble I think to myself, "Yeah? Kiss my ass." I don't actually say it, but just thinking it seems to change the dynamic somehow. I call this the Universal Kiss My Ass.
love, V

Anonymous said...

I hope you got the French Bread Pizza. It's delicious.

And Boy Child? Is turning out just perfect.

Anonymous said...

Having been a minister's wife for the past 8 years I got a lot of unwanted advice from "well-meaning" church members.

But like you said he is your child, she did not have to butt her nose into your business. People really do amaze me sometimes.

Anonymous said...

One of the reasons it's good I don't have kids:

I would have trained them to respond with a "Mind your own (bleep) business you old crazy bag!"

Then I would have secretly smiled, thinking "at school my kids are corrupting your kids."

Some people were just raised poorly and think they need to but into everyone's business. Be grateful that it's not you and your children raised with such an affliction. :)

Bunny said...

Girl, you keep on with your bad self because you rock and are an awesome mother. You have one of the healthiest attitudes toward motherhood I've ever seen.

Anonymous said...

GO CHICK! I had to LOL at your response to Judgy McPerfectPants!

I tend to give those people the hairy eyeball and then say "And this is your business because.....???"

Of course, my boys can quote Family Guy AND South Park (I totally blame their dad!) so I guess I have no room to talk!

CPA Mom said...

Just wanted to say YOU GO GIRL because that douchebag needs to get a LIFE and stay out of YOURS.

You? are my hero, as always.

Boy Child? Is SO going to be my SIL. You ALL rock.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you. BTW I laughed my ASS off when Stewie said that.

Red said...

Yet another reason why I love you so!

Seriously, FGG quotes Family Guy, South Park and Dennis Leary. He also watches The Shield, Rescue Me and The Soprano's. He's got a wicked sense of humor and his Mama's sarcastic wit, which at times isn't such a good thing.

He's also an honor roll student, has manners, and is probably smarter at 15 than most people are at 40.

As long as they grow up to be productive citizens and don't hurt anybody, who the fark cares how we raise our kids?

Julie said...

I Love that you told "miss perfect" she obviously watches the show too! So friggin' annoying of her. I swear, people these days are too involved in other people's business - they should just stick to their own.

Anonymous said...

Oh for the love of puppies, people need to get a life. I dont have kids and def dont go around telling someone how to raise theirs, especially if said kid is well behaved and worst thing he did was quote a show. So keep up the good work lol

Jana said...


I'm with you on this one, but then again I always am. I think you are a freakin genius.

I let my 11 year old son watch Family Guy and I even let him watch South Park. I know lots of people think I am horrid, but I don't give a rat's ass. We have conversations about what's reality and what's not and that these shows are purely entertainment. He knows the difference. And your kids are intelligent, I'm sure they know the difference too.

We ALWAYS talk about that episode at our house!!! Every time we have cool whip LOL!!! It's funny!

And screw bitch, I never in a million years would say such a thing to even my SISTERS, let alone a STRANGER!!!

Maui Mamma said...

K, glad I found your blog. I have experiences you express better than I can.. thanks for the example. It will make me a better writer... confession: I think the things the lady said to you. Then go home and try to tell my hubby... He doesn't want to hear it and I have to ask for forgivenes for thinking it, but when it happens to me; I think the same thing you did. :)

Anonymous said...

I need to learn from you because I'm pretty sure I would have taken one of those Healthy Choice frozen meals and thrown it at her head.
For real. That's not even an inappropriate quote from that show.
cool hhwip.
sexy parties. ;)

Angie said...

Hey girl -- whoa. Was that at MY Kroger? 'Cause I'll go kick some butt.

People are bizarre.

PaintedPromise said...

you go girl!

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Of course, I agree with you about that crap, but, I have to admit, I was mostly thinking "no fair, she gets to go on walks in Cades Cove". Yeah.