Saturday, December 06, 2008

I'm the momma.

So I joined a gym. For the love of God.

The thing is, it's getting kind of dangerous for me to walk outside. In addition to being an enormous klutz with the grace of a small plane crash? It's cold. And dark when I get home. And icy. And you know I fell and hurt my knee when it was TOTALLY LIGHT and TOTALLY DRY outside. And I can't risk another knee and/or ankle injury.

Thus, I hauled my rear down to the gym, haggled a good deal, refused personal training by telling the guy I hate everyone, and now have a little membership card on my keys.

This gym offers free childcare and so I took the Boy and Girl Child over and filled out the requisite paperwork for them to be "watched" while I work out.

As I was filling out the forms the girl behind the counter looked at them and said, "I have to ask you a question. Are you their mom?"

I was surprised. "Yes, I'm their mom".

"Well I had to ask," she told me. "You have different last names".

We have different last names.

And probably like, 1/2 the kids in America have a different last name than their parents. Right?

So why was she looking at me like I was a freak?

I stared at her.
The kids stared at her.

She was in no way, not even remotely, embarrassed by this.

And you know? Neither am I. Not really.

Because yes, I had a marriage that failed. I was really young when it failed. For a very long time I felt like a failure because of it.

But I don't now.

Now I have a husband who not only loves me, but is good and decent and kind and loves my kids. We have a pretty good thing going on here. Even if we have different names.

We left the gym and as we were walking to the car I heard Boy Child say to Girl Child, "Why was that girl acting like it was weird we have different names?"

"I don't know," she responded.

"She's a douchebag," he said.

"Agreed," said she.

So. You know. If there's any doubt. They are totally, totally my kids.


Anonymous said...

Your kids' evaluation of the girl was right- like you said, half the kids in America have different last names than their parents. And it's not always about divorce. Sometimes, women just don't take their husbands last names. How odd this girl had no clue.

I did not marry my son's father until my son was 6. During the years we did not have the same name, it did not bother me (and no one ever brought attention to it!) But when I married my husband and took his name and then had the same name as my son? I really liked it!

Frannie said...

and kick-ass kids they are!

they take after their momma!

Twisted Cinderella said...

I love the take on her! That was perfect!

Wondering Woman said...

Wait, wait, wait...... do you think maybe it was possible she thought you looked too youthful to have two kids and she thought they were your niece and nephew? She was probably just shocked and didn't mean anything but a compliment by it. Let's hope anyway!

Anonymous said...

Ugh. But this is a great example of how perfect your kids are!

I find working out in a gym a little sterile compared to getting to walk outside... but it'll do until the springtime, right?

Angie said...

Was there any doubt? They ARE your kids. . and they ARE amazing!

Saphira said...

I LOVE it! Sounds like something my kids would say! LOL! Even if she meant that you look to young to have kids that age, she should have watched her wording. How you say things makes a big difference!

Teena in Toronto said...

Like you needed to explain ...

Anonymous said...

She actually asked you that? I'm sort of surprised. I've had a different last name than my kids for about two years now and I've never had anyone ask.

Though, I do still get called by their dad's last name as Mrs. Whatcha going to do?

SJINCO said...

So let me ask, even though I already know the answer, what business was it of hers anyway?


CPA Mom said...

Oh shit. I just addressed my Christmas cards and used the same last name for all four of you.

Jana said...

What the hell? Was that girl suddenly dropped into 2008 from 1950? For crying out loud. This isn't even new to our kids generation. I had a different last name than my mom due to divorce and new marriages. And now the same is for my child... That girl was a DOUCHEBAG!

PaintedPromise said...

Good grief!

PS love your kids!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Some people are clueless. My dd is adopted from China and since I'm not Chinese, this leads to some interesting questions. My favorites is "how often do you babysit her?"