Monday, December 08, 2008

Mary, did you know?

Before yesterday, I had seriously never given Mary a lot of thought.

I mean sure, I knew that she was Jesus' mother and she was a virgin and cattle were lowing and all that stuff. But about her? Not really.

Yesterday at church we had a Christmas concert. Our church is small and our singers all have such a joy in what they do that I always feel uplifted when they are done.

A soloist sang a song from Mary's perspective. I wish I could remember the lyrics or even what the song was called (and if someone could help me out that would be awesome), but I can't because I was crying so hard.

I cry in church. It's sort of my thing.

Something about how he just had one night to be her baby and he has his whole life to be our savior? I can't remember. All I remember is that I bawled like an infant and my little son and little daughter, on either side of me, held onto me to comfort me, so I wouldn't cry anymore.

Later at the grocery store, I encountered two little children with their mother. The children looked to be about three years old. Maybe they were twins, I'm not sure. But everyone they came upon they would say, "EXCUSE ME!", even if the person they were excusing themself from was absolutely nowhere near them.

I thought they were fabulous.

I said to the little girl, "You have very nice manners".

The little boy then said, "EXCUSE ME!"

I told him, "You have very nice manners too!"

The mother scowled at me.

I just can't leave well enough alone so I said, "You know, they are so sweet. They have such good manners and they are so adorable".

And do you know what she said to me?

"You want 'em? You can have 'em."

I was shocked. I mean, completely stunned.

Later I thought about that lady. Maybe she was the nanny or a really mean aunt. And if she was the mother? I tried to tell myself that she was just having a bad day. We all have bad days sometimes and when you are a mother of two really small children sometimes those bad days seem to hit really, really hard. I know. I understand. We've all had those moments.

But I just wish. I just wish she could understand.

The days are long but the years are short.

Give them just a little time. Let them be who they are. You only get them for such a short, short while.

You may not be like Mary and know that your child had a greater purpose. You may just be trying to get through the day, like I am most of the time. One day your kid will probably decide that he wants his milk in his cereal to be brown and pour a huge bunch of chocolate milk mix into his cereal bowl and get it all over your white table and your white wall and your white floor while you are upstairs getting ready for work. And you'll cry and you'll be frustrated and you'll be having a horrible day.

But the next day? It will be okay.
The next week? It will all be clean and you won't even think about it.
The next month? There won't be any evidence to remind you.
The next year? You'll laugh about it when you think about it.

You don't know how long you'll get to have them. They are more important than the crap they leave on the walls or if they don't push their chair up when they leave the table or if they forget to flush.

They are so much more.

Cherish them.

You just never know.


Wilma said...

It could be Mary's Magnificat, also known as the Song of Mary.

CPA Mom said...

Could it be Mary Did You Know?

that's my fav. song at Christmas.

CPA Mom said...

And this post is so very important to's perspective like yours that helps me remember how important these days are. So thank you.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

So, so true.

I think mum's sometimes make comments like that to drum up sympathy. They feel lonely, unappreciated, and overwhelmed, so they complain in order to be patted down or see that look of concern in someone's eyes they so rarely see.

I know, because I used to do it. Not any more though. I've learned that lesson as well. We should cherish them, not complain over them.

Anonymous said...

And now I am crying. I love my baby boys so much, even if they both cry hysterically at the same time and aren't content no matter what I do. But I love them more than I could ever say. Thanks for writing this!

Robyn said...

Even though my son (2 years old) resembles the goateed guy down below, more than the big guy up above -- I know what you mean. It's all about perspective.

That was a really nice post.

Rebecca said...

Amen to that. My 2 are grown and out on their own now. And although they are busy out there being fabulous and I am proud of the adults that they have become, sometimes I do miss those little kids that they used to be. Now I might have to cry, too...

Anonymous said...

A very perfect post for the solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. She should be given more credit by all religions and more than just at Christmas.

Anonymous said...

Since my kid was born, I've tried hard to remember that in the blink of an eye, he'll be gone. The days are long but the years are short, indeed. Thanks for putting this out there, Chick!

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Thanks for the perspective, doll! On days like today when I'm running on fumes and two of my three have wicked colds. Well, grrrrr. And I have to remember that someday, it will be a spouse who nurses them. They'll buy their own chicken noodle soup. And I'll know after the fact.


PinkCat said...

Yeah its does go by quick. I miss my boo now he is at school... But I know I enjoyed every second of every minute of every hour of every day with him. I would do all the baby years over again in a heartbeat. It breaks my heart when you see parents that are in suc a hurry to have them grow up Brilliant post sweetie.

Hugs xx

PinkCat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roxanne said...

Thanks for the reminder. :)

Patience said...

A-men! No matter how rotten they act, they're still little miraculous gifts from God!

And, by the way, Jesus actually didn't start his ministry until he was around 30 years old. Before that, even though his purpose and destiny was set, he was Mary's son, a hard working carpenter, who lived life day-to-day just like the rest of us. Well, just like the rest of us except He was the son of the Living God!!

velocibadgergirl said...

Oh, I love that song. It gives me chills every year:


Frannie said...

so very, very true!!! I always try to tell myself that!

blessedmama said...

thanks for this reminder. i have three boys. three VERY BOYISH boys. i've had days that i feel i'm going out of my mind, but i'd never in a million years want to trade them for anything...
when moms say that about their kids it breaks my heart. a few months ago, a mom told me that about her baby. when i did a polite smile and laugh, even though i was upset on the inside, she said "no, really. i'm serious. if you want him, you can take him right now." if i hadn't been so shocked, i would have taken her up on it. i wish now i'd at least gotten her number to offer her some free babysitting or something.
thanks for your post, and God bless you!

Sarcasta-Mom said...

So true. Sometimes it's hard to hold on to that through the day to day frustrations....

Mrs. Scuba said...

Awesome post!! Your words are so true!!

SJINCO said...

Sometimes I am that woman who scowled at you and tried to give her kids away. And I can't say I'm happy about that.

Thank you for the reminder, you are absolutely right.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's the same song, but Breath of Heaven is also from Mary's perspective and moves me tremendously. My friend sang it as a solo a few years ago, i found a copy, and it carried me through many a difficult pregnancy moment... (not so much the carrying Jesus inside me part as the I am frightened/ hold me together/ be with me now parts)

notsosmallfries said...

I think the beginning of this post is such a strong reason why I'm a Catholic. Marian devotion is such a huge part of our faith, and an often misunderstood one. But recognizing that Mary, from the moment of her conception, was amazingly special is just awesome.

I find whenever I'm frustrated in my family if I meditate on what Mary would have done I find my way. She's a pretty cool example for us. Thanks for the reminder!

Jenski said...

Nice stories. When my nephew was about 3 and my sister was in the store with him, he said, "Excuse me mommy." She said, "Yes, did you want to say something?" "No, I just tooted." And no 3-year old speaks softly.

julie said...

Thank you for that. I needed it.

Julie (the mother who just used tweezers to pull a tiny pink princess shoe from her daughter's right nostril after it had been there for possibly four days)

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Thank you for that. My kids frustrate me all the time. What kids don't? But, I wouldn't trade them for a second! And, you're right, the time passes so quickly. I feel like Alyssa was just born yesterday and Kaylie was this just turned 5 year old loving being a big sister and Haley was 2 and 1/2 and still learning to talk. Now? Alyssa will be 3 next month. Kaylie is going into her second semester of 2nd grade, and Haley is almost finished with Kindergarten.

Alpha Dude said...

As was stated above, the song is called "Mary Did You Know?", and it was written by Mark Lowery.