Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I hate being an adult.

Yesterday during therapy Big Jim said something about how I've changed. I can't remember the exact context, but something about how since the book came out that I've really come to a different place in the world.

It's true, really. I knew things before, but I get them now. Especially regarding certain things/people that just aren't going to change no matter what I do.

It's interesting. It sucks butt. But it's interesting.

The part about it that sucks is that even though I get it? It doesn't make it any easier. I still get hurt when people are dickwads to me. I still can't understand people's motives for things (for example, telling me in great, elaborate detail about the physical act of obtaining my book, but then, for whatever reason, not telling me how you feel about it or even if you read it). I can't feel better about people talking crap about me behind my back and then trying to pretend like they weren't the ones that did it (and Jesus, what are we? In fourth grade? Just freaking talk to me).

I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe it's the Totino's pizza that I choked down last night (and oh JESUS, NEVER AGAIN) because Jason and I regress into fifteen year old boys who can't take care of themselves whenever the children are away. (Pizza that costs less than $1.50? Makes you hurl at about 2am. Trust me on this one)Maybe I am actually right and some people will just never change. Myself included, because I'm holding onto this pretty stubbornly I've noticed.

At any rate. Not loving it. Can't even stand myself.


Angie said...

I'm emailing you privately.

Stephanie said...

I just went through something really rotten yesterday and it made me realize that no matter what I do, good or bad, everyone is going to have an opinion. It sucks big fat donkey winky (as one of my crit partners would say) and I loathe the day I get published, too, because I know if I don't just keep it from all of them, I'm going to have a lot of people to answer to. People that have no business sticking their nose in my life, but they will anyway!


High school, nay, grade school behavior is standard operating procedure at most workplaces.

You cannot change asswipes or their behavior. Love your enemies as much as you can, but know that it isn't you. It is them. All you can do is act right.

Good luck.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

People. Suck.

That's about the extent of it. Hell, even I suck. We all have varying degrees of suckage and you know what? Some of us just control it better than others.

Sorry you seem to have black holes all around you. :(

Kristy said...

I got your book from my local library! Mostly because my husband and I are going through some financial changes, i.e. I'm not allowed to use the credit card or spend money for that matter. So as soon as I knew the title I requested it from the library and they actually aquired it. That's my story about getting your book. Now about the actual reading? So funny. I'm shaking because I'm reading while the hubby sleeps and trying not to wake him with my laughter. And occasionally I'm crying with laughter. I'm trying to drag it out, because I am sure I could have finished it in one night, but I want to savor it. Great Job!

Dawn~a~Bon said...

((HUGS)) I'm sorry you're having a tough time - I hope something fabulous and completely unexpected happens for you today!

(and you know I loved your book!)

marythemom said...

I'm so upset with myself. I actually went to one of the sites you suggested and won your book! BUT I somehow missed the e-mail telling me so, and therefore it was given to someone else. *sigh*

Now I'll have to wait until it hits Half-Price bookstore (our financial situation is awful, and I don't have a library card).

I think you're an amazing writer and I loved the chapter sample on the website. I can't wait.

Hope you're feeling better soon.
Mary in TX

Mom to biokids Ponito(9) and his sister Bob(12)
Sibling pair adoptive placement from NE 11/06
Finally finalized on Kitty(13) on 3/08 - 2 weeks before her 13th birthday!
Finalized on her brother Bear 7/08. He turned 15 the next day.
" Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

Tricia said...

First, it is totally okay to act like fifteen year old boys sometimes. Hell, I even like Totino's pizza.

Second, nobody likes being an adult. At least I don't.

Third. Dude. I kept waiting for you to have a book review day or something so I could post all about your book without looking like a stalker. Although...maybe you did and I missed that day?! I kind of missed a few posts here and there! But, if I didn't say it before, your book made me laugh. A lot. I waited until everyone left for the day, sat down with a big ole cupcake and a glass of milk, read, ate, laughed, and read some more. It was good times.