Friday, August 07, 2009

Seriously. No idea where he gets this.

Boy Child, at dinner last night reading his fortune cookie: "Today is a sunny day."
Girl Child: DUH.
Boy Child: No, seriously. What does this mean mom?
Me: It means today is sunny.
Boy Child: That's it?
Me: That's it.
Boy Child: This fortune sucks ass.

Boy Child: Hey mom?
Me: Hey, Boy Child.
Boy Child: Mom, do you want to know this?
Me: Um...probably. Go ahead.
Boy Child: I was wondering about your friend's man cats.
Me: Excuse me?
Boy Child: You know? Yesterday? You told us about your friend who had those really large cats?
Me: Yesterday?
Boy Child: Yes. Remember?
Boy Child: Remember mom? And you told us about your friend who had those really, really big cats? And you showed us a picture of those kind of cats on the internet?
Me, remembering: Boy Child. That was in 2007.
Boy Child: Was that yesterday?
Me: Boy Child. It's 2009.
Boy Child: Oh.
Me: Yeah.


Boy Child: So can you ask your friend how his man cats are doing?
Me: Okay. Next time I see him.

Boy Child, on the way home: Do you have any pictures of your dad?
Me, surprised: Of course!
Boy Child: Do you have any pictures of when he was about your age? Like you and daddy?
Me: I might...I'll have to look.
Boy Child: Would you look? I want to see what he looked like.
Me: Okay honey.
Boy Child: I saw a picture of when he married mommaw. He had a full set of hair!
Me: A full set, you say?
Boy Child: It was almost like Elvis!

Boy Child: Mom? I heard on King of The Hill this lady said, "I've seen a barrel of pickles in my day!"
Me, giggling: Did you?
Boy Child: Yes! That's funny!
Me, inappropriate as always: Yes it is!
Boy Child: Have you seen a barrel of pickles in your day mom?
Me: Umm.
Boy Child, loudly: My mom's seen a barrel of pickles in her day!
Me: I wouldn't call it a barrel son. Maybe a bag.
Boy Child: Oh. Okay.
Me: Okay.


Boy Child, to Girl Child: What's a barrel of pickles anyway?
Girl Child: You know. Penises.
Boy Child: NUH-UH! Gross, Girl Child!

On a completely random note that has nothing to do with the hilarity of this post, a couple of days ago I reached my 1000th post. I totally forgot to mention it because I'm cool like that. But hey. I'm a chatty sack of somebody, aren't I?


Anonymous said...

LMAO "almost like Elvis." That boy is so funny.

Patience said...

Hey! 1000th!! Congrats!!!

Anonymous said...

A full set of hair! I love it!

And I didn't know what A barrel of pickles was, so thank you for teaching me a new phrase. However, my husband probably won't appreciate it if I tell him I've seen a barrel of pickles in my day.

And man cats? Are they big because they're boys? So confused. ;-)

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I love that kid. In a totally non-creepy non-internet stalker kind of way. He rocks.

Congrats on the 1000th! I missed my three year bloggiversary last month. Better things to do, I guess.

Sally said...

Tree = You
Apple = Your Son

Congrats on your 1000th post!

Anonymous said...

OMG your son it def tooo funny!!!!

Yay congrats on 1000 post!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh! He always makes me laugh!

And I kind of suspected what "a barrel of pickles" meant but now....I know for sure. Thanks for that!

Anonymous said...

Good Lord that child is funny.

And congrats on making it to 1000!

Twisted Cinderella said...

Too funny!!

Congrats on making it to 1000!

Frannie said...

hahahaha!! love me some Boy Child convo's!

Tricia said...

Jill is the same way with time. It kills me. We drove past a resturant we had dinner at THE NIGHT BEFORE, and Jill says, while looking longingly out the window, "Remember the time we ate there, and I played with that little tractor toy near the table?" I was all, "Jill, that was like twelve hours ago."

And? 1000 posts!

Allie said...

That boy child is hilarious, seriously like the funniest kid around.

And congrats on the 1000th post, what an achievement.

Aunt Becky said...

That kid rules. No, seriously, he does.

the planet of janet said...

oh god, i think i just broke something from laughing.

(and congrats on 1,000 posts. you ARE a chatty thing!)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Just the fact that he uses "sucks ass" in conversation is just too damned precious!