When someone tells you something awful...is it because they want you to know or because THEY want to tell it?
I mean something truly awful. Like confessing to an affair or something. If you are never really going to find out, and there is no way you will ever find out, do they tell you just because they want to unburden their soul or because they feel guilty or because it's really something you need to know?
Moreover, is that something you really need to know?
Would YOU want to know?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
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It's all about them. The person should ask you first if they can confide in you.
It is also perfectly okay to tell them to shut the hell up, or cover your ears and go "LA LA LA LA LA LA LA," if you don't want to hear it.
No, I do not want to know and when my husband was cheating on me I actually felt bad for the people who knew.
It's all about them, that simple. Almost like bragging. Totally going for cover up ears and going Lalalala!
I think it's because they NEED, desperately, to tell someone to get it out of their system. It's happened to me before. I mean, I was the "teller". I had something, a secret that I could've taken to the grave, but I really needed to tell someone. No one NEEDED to know it, but I really needed to put it out there.
And in my case, if someone else had been sharing such a secret with me, I'd have been flattered. It would be nice to be trusted THAT much, ya know?
Psychological research shows it's simply to help them feel less guilty, and it has nothing to do with you. Sorry you're in that position....
ITA with the others who said it's to unburden themselves.
Okay, I’ll stop telling you about me and my brother-in-law! WMC!!
This is why criminals almost always get caught. I think it's a case of the guilties.
I agree that someone should ask before confiding in you. I just love when someone spews their secret and THEN says you shouldn't tell a soul. Yeah, thanks.
I'm not really sure WHY someone unburdens themselves in that way. I wonder if it's for attention or shock value?
I think it depends on the person. Some people just can't bear to keep important things to themselves. Others share because it makes them feel special and/or interesting. Could be to try to be closer with someone (I confided in you - now we're bffs!). Ultimately though, when it's something super serious I wish people would ask before confiding.
Depends on WHO told you. Are YOU affected? Or do they need a disinterested 3rd party?
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