Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Life Lessons with the Girl Child.

I got really upset with the Girl Child today.

I mean, really, really upset.

Also? I was having a really bad day already. I had a headache, I'm frustrated with a number of things (mostly myself), I have huge holes in my yoga pants, and well. I'm just not having the easiest time with life lately.

So I yelled at my kid.

I mean, she did something wrong and yes I had the right to be frustrated. But I was too hard on her and I knew it.

And I? Felt like crap.

So I went to her room to tell her I was upset with her for what she did, but I shouldn't have been so hard on her and she had written me a letter which said, in part,

Dear Mom,

Girl Child is a ungrateful bitchy jerk of a daughter. I don't deserve a fantastic, awesome great mom like you.


I told her that I was sorry. I was wrong and I was sorry and while she was wrong too, I should have handled it better. And that she was a great kid and I loved her so much and everything would be okay.

And I left the room feeling like the WORST PERSON ALIVE.

I overreacted. I did the wrong thing. And she was sad FOR ME.

I dropped the two off at Tae Kwon Do and went to the gym for a while to clear my head. When I came back we went to the pharmacy so I could get some medicine to help my head (and my knees). I let the kids pick out one small candy (mostly because they had the Halloween candy out on display and they've been talking about candy corn for three weeks now).

We paid for our purchases and the candy corn was still on the counter. I thought the Boy Child had taken it out to look at it so I slipped it in the bag and walked out.

We were on the sidewalk and the Boy Child said, "Mom? Can you check the receipt? I don't think we paid for that candy."

We didn't.


"We have to go back," the Girl Child told me.

So we did. We explained what happened and paid the dollar and everything was okay.

On the sidewalk the Girl Child told me how she was trying to be more honorable. That Tae Kwon Do taught her honor (and a bunch of other things those little Tennessee accents yell...I can't understand all of it) and that lately? She wasn't being as honorable as she should be.

Neither am I, Girl Child.

But I'm going to do better too.


CPA Mom said...

ouch! that's what I love about you Steph - that you admit when you feel bad about how you handled something with your kids. because I feel that way just about every day. I do feel better knowing I'm not the only one, especially when I look to you for parenting advice. ((((HUGS))))

Anonymous said...

Speaking from experience, you will have many times that both of you will not "behave honorably" with each other. But the good news is, there will be more that you do. Remember the good things said and done, forgive and FORGET the not so good ones - both by you and others.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Oh my heart. You are good people.

Anonymous said...



Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I had a mom who yelled a lot. All the time actually. She says now that if she'd been a young mom in this day and age she would've been put on meds, no doubt. Anyway, I don't remember the yelling so much. I remember the apologizing after. She ALWAYS apologized after. She taught me humility. She taught me that my feelings mattered more than her pride. She taught me how very much she loved me every single time.

You are such a rockingly awesome mom. You really are.

Jamie said...

You? Awesome mom.

Girl child? Awesome kid.

Wonder why? I don't.


Anonymous said...

Dude, you are so hard on yourself! This happens to me all the time - overreacting, not failure to pay for candy corn. All 3 of you seriously do Rock!

Kathy said...

I hope you know that you are not alone. I know that doesn't make what happened or how you feel easier, just know that none of us are perfect. Recently I have been have the same encounters with my daughter with many of the same responses. And, I just keep trying to do better.

I love that Girl Child is trying to act more honorably. I wish the whole world would try that.

Anonymous said...

Hugs to all of you!

KrustyLynn said...

So, I had parents that were really hard on all of us all the time..in different ways, but we all got it. They NEVER apologized. In fact, I think I haven't heard my dad apologize ever, and I can count on my hands the times I've heard my mom apologize. So, the important thing is not that you yelled, because--well, let's face it. I will yell at the head of lettuce for ripping when I'm taking off the leaves--but you said you were sorry. That really does mean something. :)

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

We all have bad days, when we overreact. As long as you realize those days/moments and admit them, then it's all good. It's not good that it happened, but it's good you recognized it. God, we're all rough around the edges. I can't tell you how many times I've told the kids "Mom is having a bad day. If I yell, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to yell the bad away and I love all of you so much."

I hope it takes the edge off.

PaintedPromise said...

You? Are an Awesome Mom!!

Girl Child (and Boy Cild as well) is an Awesome Kid!!!!

i don't a parent who hasn't been there Steph... in fact i learned a while back to warn the family when i've had a bad day, before i even walk in the door. they stay away from me. lol. at least for a little while until i get centered again being home...

Anonymous said...

You have amazing children. And, you are an awesome mom.

This story just made me feel all warm and happy for the first time today. :)