I got nothing.

Okay, except the fact that today when I was getting ready to leave work? My boss said, "Why does it always get so cold in here in the afternoons?" and I said, "It's because me and my hot ass leave."

But that's really all I have.

Kids say the craziest things.

Boy Child: Master of all things obvious, as we walked to the pharmacy: Do you need something at the pharmacy?

Me: Yes.

Boy Child: Can you tell me what it is?

Me: It's just girl stuff.

Girl Child: It's probably birth control pills.

Boy Child: Girl Child! Mom doesn't take birth control pills! She can't have more children!

Me: That's right. I don't need birth control pills.

Boy Child, after a moment: I'm sorry you can't have any more children mom. But think of this way...you have me and Girl Child. And if you had another baby, you'd have lots of things to pay!

Me: True!

Boy Child: I hear diapers are very expensive!

Girl Child: So do I! I hear that!

Life Lessons with the Girl Child.

I got really upset with the Girl Child today.

I mean, really, really upset.

Also? I was having a really bad day already. I had a headache, I'm frustrated with a number of things (mostly myself), I have huge holes in my yoga pants, and well. I'm just not having the easiest time with life lately.

So I yelled at my kid.

I mean, she did something wrong and yes I had the right to be frustrated. But I was too hard on her and I knew it.

And I? Felt like crap.

So I went to her room to tell her I was upset with her for what she did, but I shouldn't have been so hard on her and she had written me a letter which said, in part,

Dear Mom,

Girl Child is a ungrateful bitchy jerk of a daughter. I don't deserve a fantastic, awesome great mom like you.

INSERT. KNIFE. HEART.

I told her that I was sorry. I was wrong and I was sorry and while she was wrong too, I should have handled it better. And that she was a great kid and I loved her so much and everything would be okay.

And I left the room feeling like the WORST PERSON ALIVE.

I overreacted. I did the wrong thing. And she was sad FOR ME.

I dropped the two off at Tae Kwon Do and went to the gym for a while to clear my head. When I came back we went to the pharmacy so I could get some medicine to help my head (and my knees). I let the kids pick out one small candy (mostly because they had the Halloween candy out on display and they've been talking about candy corn for three weeks now).

We paid for our purchases and the candy corn was still on the counter. I thought the Boy Child had taken it out to look at it so I slipped it in the bag and walked out.

We were on the sidewalk and the Boy Child said, "Mom? Can you check the receipt? I don't think we paid for that candy."

We didn't.

Crap.

"We have to go back," the Girl Child told me.

So we did. We explained what happened and paid the dollar and everything was okay.

On the sidewalk the Girl Child told me how she was trying to be more honorable. That Tae Kwon Do taught her honor (and a bunch of other things those little Tennessee accents yell...I can't understand all of it) and that lately? She wasn't being as honorable as she should be.




Neither am I, Girl Child.


But I'm going to do better too.