Sunday, June 10, 2007

Inappropriate parenting 101.

People tend to stare at me a lot when I'm in public.

In addition to being depressed, I'm also somewhat paranoid and I figured people were staring because of one of the following reasons:

1) They were thinking, "Dang! Her ass is huge!"
2) They were thinking, "Dang! I really want her purse!"
or
3) They were slack-jawed yokels who stare at everyone. And covet people's purses and say dang a lot.

But today? I was at the market with my daughter and she said, just loud enough for everyone in the entire store to hear, "So I told him, he better watch it or I'll kick him in the penis!"

So I was all like, "True dat!" and I noticed that, um, all the other mom's and dad's were staring at me with their mouths agape. And then I figured out that maybe, just maybe, sometimes people stare at me because my kids say words like penis and vagina and, my personal favorite, douchehole.

Huh.

One kid, hanging on to his mom's arm and totally picking his nose and EATING IT I might add, said, "MOM! SHE SAID PENIS!"

And they all looked at me and sadly shook their heads.

Like penis is a bad word or something!

Before my children were even born I made up my mind that I would not use baby-talk when speaking to them. I spoke to them just like I would speak to any other adult and in turn, when they learned to speak they spoke to me using "grown-up" words. Sure, they sometimes say things like "bromote" instead of "remote" and "bagina" instead of vagina, but they use words correctly in general. When I was teaching them about parts of the body I called them what they were. I didn't see any need to call it a cootcher or whatever, even though I do use that word. A lot.

Our mom, when I was growing up, called male and female parts "wicks". I have no idea why she did this, and as my sister recently said, it traumatized us to the point that we were unable to use candles for most of our lives. She still hasn't forgiven her.

So. I held my head up proudly in front of those parents today and said back to my kid, "You're SO right honey. I would have totally kicked him in the penis too."

Then I took her hand and she took mine. And in the produce aisle, she gave it a little squeeze.

Even if she says penis a lot, she's still a pretty cool kid.

27 comments:

frannie said...

she's a very cool kid with an extra awesome mom!!!


i love you!!

Sleeping Mommy said...

I would not say that here use of the word Penis implies any inappropriate parenting at all!

My kids use the correct words, although my four year old says 'gina instead of VA-gina.

The only time I worry about them using those words in public is in the public restroom where the four year old will ask at the top of her lungs when she's in the stall with me "Mommy, why do you have hair on your 'gina?"

Because frankly that is not a conversation I want to have in public where only god-knows-who is listening in the ten other stalls in the bathroom.

EE said...

LOL...love it!!!
My son calls his manhood a penis, but the girls call his penis a "thingy"...go figure!

Kimberly said...

I have to stop reading your posts when my husband is in the room. He's seriously starting to think I'm cracking up...laughing out loud at the computer screen and all.

Your relationship with your kids rocks!

yerdoingitwrong said...

I love mom's like you!

nailgirl said...

When my kids are little I use pee pee and coochie but not long after that they know the real pronounciation. My favorite is when my 11 year old runs through the house announcing "I got the puberty, my penis is big", Sigh this is what I deal with in my house lol.

my4kids said...

I have always used the correct words for things with my kids also. The hubby insisted on it and Izzak had to see a urologist for his so he heard the word alot and with some of his problems you could say there was a lot of focus on it when he was little. It just started natural to use the correct words. I wouldn't think you a bad parent at all! After all its a lot better then some of the names they learn in school!! Although I had to speak to one of Izzaks teachers once because he got in trouble in the second grade for using the word penis for something like "he kicked me in the penis" which I thought was totally appropriate and told the teacher so.

Kellie said...

I'm with you on using the right words and not speaking baby talk. You're kids are cool because their Mom ROCKS!!

stepmomof2 said...

Hilarious! There's nothing wrong with teaching them the correct terms; I mean why talk baby talk and then have to teach them all over again? You are a great mom!

M said...

Reason number 8 bazillion quillion why you're my idol and I *heart* your daughter big huge mega lots.

Come move this way. When I hear such things in public I giggle my butt off as mothers look around and everyone else just ignores it.

Evidently we like to yell penis and vagina in this state.

Emma in Canada said...

Would they have prefered she use the c word?

I use the correct words as well. Sadly my son prefers words like balls and nuts. Drives me crazy. But I can see how an 11 year old might get picked on if he siad "Oh, that ball hit me right in the testicles."

My friend uses the word bird for both girl and boy parts. I can't stand it, and have told her she is making her kids look like total eejits.

velocibadgergirl said...

You and your kidfolk just warm my heart, you know it?

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I love you.

Can I come over to play?

My kid (and I) talk like that too...
And we get stared at a lot.

hard hug.

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

That's great, actually, using the correct names for body parts with kids. So often, people grow up with baby names for genitalia, and then, when they're adults, they get squeamish and blush when people say 'penis' or 'vagina'. My mom did the same thing with us that you're doing with the youngsters, and I'm following suit.

If I'd been in the store, I probably would've laughed out loud just because you said you would've totally kicked him in the penis.

Amy W said...

I would so be staring at you and your cool purses....but I am a total starer...

Lisa said...

Oh that is too funny. Wicks. Now when I see candles, I'll think of YOU. heehee.

Honestly? If my son and I would have overheard you say that? We both would have giggled.

SJ said...

AMEN for talking to your kids using grown up words! I think that is great. I mean a penis is what it is....why not say it!?

Shame on those people in the store staring at you and your precious daughter. Don't they know that's RUDE!

Rachel said...

OMG I just love you!

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

Absolutely LOVED LOVED LOVED this blog posting. The best part, though, was telling us how cool you think your daughter is.

Gerbil said...

Awesome. Most awesome. Did I mention awesome?? Because it was.

alissa said...

Can I love you any more?

Dawn~a~Bon said...

She could have called it a "tu-tu."

*shudder*

Heathie said...

One of my husband's co-workers uses the phrase "wee willy winkie." Referring to himself. Slang aside, does he really want the guys he works with thinking it's "wee?" As in little? 'Cause now they all do.

Shanilie said...

lol, wow, we really would have been the best roomates in university. That is all we did was say things as they were and the people around us would just stare and shake their heads. My parrents were almost too blunt.

julie said...

That's great! I wish my mom would've taught us more regular words for things. My brother and I were taught to say "ackie" instead of poop. It was quite a surprise to get to kindergarten and hear that I was the only one who said it... somewhat traumatizing, actually.

Twisted Cinderella said...

That is great! I just taught Princess the other day that her "front bum" was called a vagina. LOL

Debbie said...

Right on!!