Wednesday, July 18, 2007

NC-17 here I come!

“Why do they make coupons so big?” I lamented on a recent Sunday morning.

“Hmm?” Jason said, somewhat uninterested.

“Look!” I said, holding up a coupon the size of my left buttock. “What is the purpose of making that so large?”

He squinted at it and said, “So you won’t forget to purchase tampons.”

“What?”

“You know. You’ll look in your purse and you’ll see that huge, pink coupon and you’ll think, oh, I need to buy tampons. Wow! I have a coupon!”

I sighed.

“The fact that I have a vagina reminds me I have to purchase tampons, hon.”

He said, thoughtfully, “But you can’t cut a vagina out of the Sunday paper.”

22 comments:

Emma in Canada said...

In some countries I am sure you could cut a vagina out of the paper.

And I'm not sure that vagina will give you that NC-17 rating. Apparetnly you have to say crap and ass a lot. Which is really a G rating in my world. The C word didn't even rate a mention in my rating. Was surprised.

Sarcastic Housewife said...

Being able to cut a vagina out of the newspaper would bring a certain amount of quirkiness to your Sunday plus it would sell a whole bunch of newspapers.

Catwoman said...

You two are so freaking awesome!

And by the way... Your answers post? Sigh. Makes me soooooo happy that you exist, because you are a whole new level of awesomeness!

stepmomof2 said...

OMG, that was hilarious! You guys are great. BTW, thanks for taking the time to email me. It's good to know there are other people with the same things going on.

Kimberly said...

Such wisdom! Oh heck, I'm going to bust a gut...

Mike said...

Hilarious. The best post I've read so far today.


Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

http://www.mikeleonen.com/

Rachel said...

I'm thinking that even if you could cut a vagina outta the paper...I probably still wouldn't. Just sayin.

Edie C said...

Wouldn't that be funny? :)

Britmum said...

That so funny.....!

You could start a new trend.

lol

Take care xx

Angie said...

Hmmmm. . . so that would be a "paper business," right?!?!

I'm guessing you'd find that coupon in the "business" section.

Sorry, it's early evening. I'm tired. I'm a little punchy.

my4kids said...

Oh my.....
I agree though having it reminds us we need to buy them....guys must forget about that.

my4kids said...

Oh and I checked your an R no NC-17 rating, it did pick up the 3 "v" words in the post today though! Emma's right you just have to say "crap" more!

Amira said...

You and Jason are two peas in a pod. You totally belong together.

Love it.

BTW, I have an NC-17 rating. Not because I've used the F word or "ass" or "hell" or "damn"; it's because I've used "death", "pain" and other words of discomfort.

So weird...

Kellie said...

Imagine if you COULD cut a vagina out of the paper? Instead of writing "tampons" on the grocery list on the fridge? You could stick the cut out vagina on there and be all "oh....rice...I need to buy cotton canoes".

Or something.

frannie said...

well, no, you can't.

moosh in indy. said...

There'd be a lot of stores out of business if you could do that.

SJ said...

Haha, now that's a thought!

Working Girl said...

Hmmm...I actually have a vagina, work in women's health, and still forget to buy tampons. But I do have several lovely paper vaginas!

I like your site!

Beccy said...

Lol, I always buy too many tampons because I don't want to ever run out!

I hope you never can cut vaginas out of the Sunday papers, the two just don't seem to go together!

Twisted Cinderella said...

bwahahahahaha!

julie said...

How did you get such a hilarious family?

Ashley said...

I'm laughing out 0ut loud at my desk just thinking of cutting vajayjays out of the newspaper :)