Despite the fact that my Girl Card should have been revoked at birth, I find myself having a lot of "friend crushes" lately.
I meet someone and desperately want them to like me and be my friend. You know? Or if they are my friend, I want them to be my best, best friend and think I'm the coolest ever.
It's so freaking lame.
Take for example my work friend, Ben. Ben is not his real name. Because even though he doesn't read my blog and, in fact, doesn't find me all that interesting, I would be mondo-embarrassed if he knew I was blogging about him.
I've created this elaborate backstory for him. For example, I am completely convinced that he was born in Hawaii. Why, I have no idea. It doesn't even make sense. But in my mind he was.
Oh and his parents are dead. He was raised by a kind and benevolent grandfather who left him a bunch of money when he died.
Oh and his ex-wife was really mean and tried to steal all of his money and verbally abuse him. But he might have actually told me that part.
Also? He might have been in the circus at one point. I'm just not sure.
See, though? Ridiculous. If you ever met this guy you would laugh at this story, because he's very quiet and unassuming. He would either find this hilarious or he would run away from me, shrieking.
But because of the friend crush I have on him, I imagine him telling me these stories while we walk our dogs and drink lattes. I also try to find nice single women to set him up with.
Well, okay, I do that already, but generally he recoils in horror. Because, um, well, he knows me and I'm a bit loud and I guess he just ASSUMES that all my friends would be loud and do things like dance the macarena in the breakroom too. Gah! So judgemental.
I think Ben thinks I am a nice and interesting, albeit extraordinarily loud and overwhelming, individual. I don't think he wants to hang out with me after work and come over at Thanksgiving and break bread with me and my family.
I have girl friend crushes too. It's so high school and I just can't seem to stop myself. One of my best friends has a circle of friends who have somewhat accepted me and I'm so freaking nuts about the whole situation. I want them to do things like call me up out of the blue and be all like, "Hey! Let's go scrapbooking!" or whatever. They never do.
They are nice enough to me, don't get me wrong. They always laugh when I say funny things, which is more than I get from, you know, the majority of my family and co-workers. But they don't call.
Not that I call them either. I don't want them to think I'm a stalker.
I don't know. It feels pretty weird to me. I think it's probably just my obsession with stories.
I think everyone is so interesting, even if they don't know it yet.