Friday, August 31, 2007

Contest time! It's Contest time!

First off, let me thank everyone who submitted a work story for the contest. Some of them literally made me laugh out loud. In my office. While I should have been working. Seriously.

Some folks didn't really understand the contest and that's okay. Except for the one charming individual emailed me to say, "Why are you having this contest? It's stupid. It's just a lame attempt to get people to comment on your blog because no one reads your blog anymore."

Frankly, I'm so boring and stupid these days I'm totally amazed anyone reads this nonsense, ever.

But anyway, the real reason I decided to have this contest is because I've been very reflective on my work situation lately (and ranty, apparently) and I thought this would be fun. Life hasn't been all that fun lately, really.

Anyway! On with the show.

The following are three stories related to work. They could have been written by anyone. One of them is not true. The other two are. The first person who leaves a comment correctly identifying the two correct stories will win an awesome* prize! After this is announced, I will also announce the winner of the first part of the contest, which was the person who sent me a story that I deemed the most funny. Of course, as a mother I am not funny, so again, this is highly subjective.

Here are the stories:

a)The owner of my company is a 55 year old Asian woman who has severe dementia but still manages to do the payroll every week.

One day, I was on the phone with a co-worker when all of a sudden, my co-worker said "Oh shit. Oh. SHIT. (laughing hysterically) Oh.My.God. I gotta call you back."

55 year old Asian owner woman walked past co-worker's window and to the end of the driveway to get the mail in the following attire:

A shirt with a belt around her waist.

And a hat on.

Carrying an umbrella.

With nothing on the bottom half of her body but pantyhose.

And heels.

Her son was called and she was immediately taken home to retrieve her pants.



b) I was at my desk one day with a customer in my office. He and I were having a completely normal conversation, or so I thought, when suddenly he leaned across my desk and in an exaggerated manner smelled of me. Really exaggerated like someone snorting cocaine in a movie.

I must have looked kind of surprised but this did not phase him at all.


He smiled at me and said, "You smell good. Like my mom."


Then he sat back down and continued on with the conversation, as if this were perfectly normal.


Later I found out he had spent years and years in a mental facility. I was not surprised.



c) In high school I worked for a nationally known pizza chain. I was about 17-18 years old and my boss was about about 21-22 and acted like he was about 14. He thought he was hot shit because he made $17000 the prior year and had moved into an apartment with ten other guys.

Even though I was a female I ended up having to do a lot of the deliveries because all of the guys who worked with me were either drunk or high about eighty percent of the time and spent most of their time talking about video games and malt liquor. When I came back from the deliveries I had to put the money in the cash register and then take my tip out from that.

One day the boss thought it would be funny to say to me when I was putting money in the register, "Where my money bitch?" Like he was a gangsta.

I was young and stupid and ignored him. And then he started saying it all. the. time. In front of the guys I worked with and everything. They all thought it was hilarious.

One day I came in from a bunch of deliveries and noticed my dad was in line waiting on his pizza. He smiled at me and I smiled back and before I could say a word, my manager noticed me coming in and said loudly, "Where my money BITCH!"

My dad didn't think that was funny.

That guy got fired less than a week later!




Okay, that's it! Leave a comment saying which two you think are true (a, b, or c) and the first correct answer wins! Good luck!




*awesome=highly subjective

33 comments:

CPA Mom said...

I guess a and c are true though all could be.

BS said...

True are ... B and C

Chelle said...

A&B are true

Blue Momma said...

A & B are true. Right?

Blue Momma said...

"Why are you having this contest? It's stupid. It's just a lame attempt to get people to comment on your blog because no one reads your blog anymore."

Obviously this person was suckered in by your "lame attempt". So doesn't that mean it wasn't lame?

And I read your blog. And love your blog. I'm also somebody!

Asshole needs to get a life.

Edie C said...

I vote for b and c being true...

Can't wait to find out the results!

m. said...

O, I think A & B are true. :)

Kellie said...

I say a and c. Although? All three COULD be true.

The Asian woman story? Made me snort water out my nose. Good times. :)

And? If someone thinks you're boring? Clearly, they don't come here nearly often enough. Pfft.

Angie said...

Wow. I think A & B are true. The "smell you" guy reminded me of someone I used to work with.

As for the lame comment. . . eh. . .I have no words for jerks like that!

Bethany said...

I could believe all of them. I vote for B & C because A is sad (funny but sad).


I love the contest idea.

stepmomof2 said...

I think A and C are true. Lame commenters suck! Hope you have a great weekend :-)

Catwoman said...

I know I've lost if I'm right, since 50 people commented before me (and so apparently that proves that you are not, in fact, lame), I'm guessing A&C.

Rachel said...

A & C even though lotsa peeps have already answered!

Morgan Leigh said...

A and C are the true ones.

Julie said...

I think A & B are true - C has too much detail - like it's made up. (I'm probably wrong though)

JustRandi said...

I think a and c are true. I don't think you could make those up as easily as b.

frannie said...

so many people have voted, that is is useless for me to do so--- I was very entertained by all 3.


the person that emailed you that nasty comment? you want me to hunt them down like a dog and do things to them that would make their mother weep? just let me know. Next Tuesday is free.

Mich said...

I'm guessing B & C are true....thanks for making me snort and spit on my keyboard for laughing out loud (pretty, I know)!!!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I say b & c, although with the nutcases out there, I would not be shocked if they were all true. You rock. And, boo hiss on whoever thinks your are lame and actively seeking comments.

julie said...

I think B and C are true, as well. The first one looks like you wrote it. All three are damn funny.

I wish I'd noticed this contest sooner... I have a few I could have shared. :)

velocibadgergirl said...

DANG! I meant to send you a work story. Suck!

Oh, well...I think the pizza guy one is not true. Ten guys in an apartment? I hope that's not true!

SJ said...

I'm going to say that A and B are true.

Just a guess however, I really have no idea as they all sound like they could be true.

Joy T. said...

Aw darn. Always late to the party. I see lots of people picked A & C which are the ones I thought, so I'm going to be different and pick C & A. There. That'll show em.

And was that one of those nasty working or SAHM bitches who made that nasty comment? Because I believe there's still room for one more in that little room I'm putting them all in. Rip each other to shreds for all I care.

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

I guess I'm too late coz all variations have been 'picked'. But I'd guess a and b are true.......

You're do lame awesomely!

EE said...

a and c are true...am i too late?

Jodi said...

I vote for a and b, money bitch was awesone though.

Andrea Nähmaus said...

I am to late... but I would for B and C

;-)

Have a nice day...

Andrea

www.myblog.de/naehmaus

Emma in Canada said...

I'm saying b and c. If a hadn't been a 55 year old Asian woman I would have gone with that one over b, but having worked in an alzheimer's nursing home, I have to say I couldn't recall an Asian person that young with dementia.

Jocelyn said...

B and C are true. See, the lady in A is just Carmen Electra (save for, em, being Asian...but the outfit rings true).

mAsOn & tErrI's mOm said...

Not sure If I'm too late or not but can ALL of them not be true?

Okay thats my vote..all of them are true! :-D

J said...

I dont know which ones are true or not...all I want is you to come back and post again! I love your blog, and am completely addicted already. I have passed on your link to some girlfriends of mine, also. Hurry back Chick!!!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

I would say that a) and b) are true and that c) is not.

Amy W said...

I am late in the game on this one, but I am guessing B is not the true one.