Due to my aforementioned love of all things MTV, I decided last night to tune into a new (maybe? It was new to me anyway) episode of the program, "The Hills”.
Have you seen this show? It’s so, so bad and I’m so in love with it that I would marry it if I could.
The main character is a girl named Lauren who is both adorably pretty and possibly the most unlucky individual on the planet. Since I have been watching this show, she’s dated a huge tool (named Jason) and stupidly, on her part, gave up a chance to have a summer internship in Paris so she could live with him in a rental house on the beach, had the misfortune of having a horrible roommate named Heidi, had her best friend try to steal her guy or a guy she liked or something, and now someone (probably the horrible now ex-roommate) has started a rumor that she had made a sex-tape with Jason.
The drama! The scandal!
Anyway, if you haven’t gouged out your eyeballs with a sharpened spoon after that last paragraph, a lot of last night’s episode was about the ex-roommate Heidi and her asshole boyfriend/fiancé, or whatever the heck he is, named Spencer.
I’ve never been one to be against young marriage. I mean, heck, I figure any one of us has as much chance as the rest of us to make it. For me, getting married at twenty was a really, really stupid decision. But, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have Boy Child and Girl Child. So, you know, whatever.
That being said? If Heidi and Spencer do get married? I think my head will spontaneously implode.
I know Heidi is only twenty years old and does not seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but how on this planet could anyone want to marry a guy who both looks like Jim Carey in the “Mask” minus the green face as well as for some reason, unknown to everyone on the planet, seems to think he’s really all that and a “Big Grab” of Doritos?
Heidi, additionally, seems to think that life is all about how many parties you get invited to and how many pairs of oversized sunglasses one person can own. She doesn’t seem to have a lot of concern over things like marital fidelity and making a life-long commitment. Or, you know, going to work and paying your own bills.
Well, that’s not fair. She does seem to have a job, which is more than I can say for her boyfriend. Granted, her job seems to involve a great deal of taking breaks to talk about her relationship and giving meaningful and dramatic glances at everyone she sees. I wish I could get hired there, because it seems pretty easy.
As much as I hope they don’t get married, they probably will. Maybe they can be like Nick and Jessica and be the “Newlyweds”. Since it worked out so great for that pair.