Tuesday, August 21, 2007

It's not that I care. It's just that I have no life.

Due to my aforementioned love of all things MTV, I decided last night to tune into a new (maybe? It was new to me anyway) episode of the program, "The Hills”.

Have you seen this show? It’s so, so bad and I’m so in love with it that I would marry it if I could.

The main character is a girl named Lauren who is both adorably pretty and possibly the most unlucky individual on the planet. Since I have been watching this show, she’s dated a huge tool (named Jason) and stupidly, on her part, gave up a chance to have a summer internship in Paris so she could live with him in a rental house on the beach, had the misfortune of having a horrible roommate named Heidi, had her best friend try to steal her guy or a guy she liked or something, and now someone (probably the horrible now ex-roommate) has started a rumor that she had made a sex-tape with Jason.

The drama! The scandal!

Anyway, if you haven’t gouged out your eyeballs with a sharpened spoon after that last paragraph, a lot of last night’s episode was about the ex-roommate Heidi and her asshole boyfriend/fiancĂ©, or whatever the heck he is, named Spencer.

I’ve never been one to be against young marriage. I mean, heck, I figure any one of us has as much chance as the rest of us to make it. For me, getting married at twenty was a really, really stupid decision. But, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have Boy Child and Girl Child. So, you know, whatever.

That being said? If Heidi and Spencer do get married? I think my head will spontaneously implode.

I know Heidi is only twenty years old and does not seem to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but how on this planet could anyone want to marry a guy who both looks like Jim Carey in the “Mask” minus the green face as well as for some reason, unknown to everyone on the planet, seems to think he’s really all that and a “Big Grab” of Doritos?

Heidi, additionally, seems to think that life is all about how many parties you get invited to and how many pairs of oversized sunglasses one person can own. She doesn’t seem to have a lot of concern over things like marital fidelity and making a life-long commitment. Or, you know, going to work and paying your own bills.

Well, that’s not fair. She does seem to have a job, which is more than I can say for her boyfriend. Granted, her job seems to involve a great deal of taking breaks to talk about her relationship and giving meaningful and dramatic glances at everyone she sees. I wish I could get hired there, because it seems pretty easy.

As much as I hope they don’t get married, they probably will. Maybe they can be like Nick and Jessica and be the “Newlyweds”. Since it worked out so great for that pair.


Emma in Canada said...

I just read about these guys in In Touch or something. And he said that Lauren was in love with Heidi. Wasn't he the friend in that Princes of Malibu show? The article said something about his ex best friend Brady Jenner and I thought that was where I knew him from. After watching that show, it was no surprise to me that David Foster and his wife split up. If those were my step sons I would have been up for murder.

Tiger Lamb Girl said...

I've never even heard of this show, but your writing hooked me, lol. Now I'm intrigued -- and wishing we had MTV.

(hope my comments will now show up in your email....I do sign into blogger everytime!)

Sarcastic Housewife said...

Hmmm...I think I know people like Heidi and Jason and Spencer and Lauren...do you think they might be based on real life characters?

Kimberly said...


I take very secret pleasure in shows like this. My little sister is very into them, and whenever we visit my folks, I watch them with her. I claim solidarity when Neil gives me "that look". =P

Love love love.

Angie said...

I'm just glad to know that there are other responsible mothers out there in the world that watch these shows like I do.

For me. . .I'm totally hooked on "Rock of Love" and am dying to see Lecy get kicked off. Here's hoping!!!

Amy W said...

I do not watch the show, but I read today that the main "characters" get paid $25,000 per episode...Crazy!

nailgirl said...

I liked Laguna beach much better which is where Lauren or "LC" came from.

Ashley said...

awww I love MTV too .......... don't tell anyone though. Sometimes when I am in a bad mood and I watch it, it begins to annoy me how petty the drama is ;(

p.s. why is that I always thought you lived in Memphis?

AnnieM said...

I watch it religiously. Spencer makes me want to reach through the TV and smack him and I am not even a violent person. The urge gets stronger with each episode. What I don't understand is why Heidi would ever stay with someone after seeing the things he would say about her last season. That poor, dumb little girl.
I think Whitney deserves a bigger part, I like her, but maybe she is just too normal?

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Wait - is it a reality show or a soap-opera type thing?

EE said...

What???? Life ISN'T all about parties and oversized sunglasses????

Catwoman said...

Oh how I love The Hills. I have watched faithfully every episode.

And how can you not speak of Justin Bobby and all of his loving burping?

Apparently LA is filled with losers, because these hot girls? Cannot find a normal guy if their life depends on it.

And Chick, I want you to know, that if you were my roommate, I would NEVER spread stories about your sex tape. I swear I'd keep that to myself.

Rachel said...

I totally love that show!

Really. I do. I also hate Spencer and Heidi!

I think Catwoman and I are long lost sisters!

Fine For Now said...

Oh The Hills is the best show! I started out watching Laguna Beach and followed Lauren to this show. It is really sad how all these beautiful girls cannot seem to find a decent guy in LA. Was Justin Bobby stoned or high, I don't know what his deal was the other night, dude needs to be dumped. I watched a little bit of the hills aftershow, but it was too stupid for me. They did a really funny bit about the fight Spencer and Heidi had about her repainting the wall white. They made it black and white and put it to spooky music and kept flashing lightning, it was hilarious.