More crap.

I had fun answering those questions yesterday. So much, in fact, that I thought I'd do it again today. Instead of, you know, complaining about working or thinking up something original to post. Because I'm awesome.

Anyway.

Several nice people have asked some variation of:

So is Jason really perfect? He seems like he is.

Oh Good God NO. No. No times hinty billion and did I mention NO?

Have you SEEN the Twelve Days of Marriage? He totally dumped me for someone else when we were dating. I didn’t get over THAT for years. YEARS.

Also? His short-term memory is extremely limited. He has excellent long-term memory, but his short-term memory is pretty much crap. For example? This morning I said to him, “It’s December 18th!” and he said, “Yes, it is” and I was like, “So maybe you want to start your Christmas shopping!” and he said, and no, I’m not kidding, “When is Christmas again?”

Oh and this one time? He called me on the phone and I swear to Bob he said, “What’s my sister’s last name?”

Oh and last night, he said, “I spent three dollars of your birthday money” and I was like, “What the crap are you talking about?” and I finally ascertained that he had spent $3 of the money that had withdrawn from the bank account to buy me CHRISTMAS presents on something else.

Overall the man is completely fabulous and I love him. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

98.5% of the time, I completely adore him
1.5% of the time, I want to stab him while he sleeps.

So? It works out pretty good.


Also? This, in reference to pooping and poop, in general:

Chick, how do you KNOW they look at it? Eeew.

Oh. I have a nine-year old son. A son who likes to regale me with stories regarding his poop and all poop related things.

Topics have included,

“Hey mom! Come look at this!”
“Hey mom! I stopped the toilet up!”
“Hey mom! I stopped the toilet up! Again!”
“Hey mom did we have corn last night?”


Gah. Just…gah.

And, one more. Just for fun.

Your hair is really long! How long did it take you to grow your hair that long?

I have not had a hair cut since 1998. Not a real one. A trim here and there and a snip sometimes when I get a really big knot in the back of my head and I just cannot get it out not even for the love of Pete Rose or white ice cream.

A couple of days after I had Boy Child and Girl Child, I cut my hair. Myself. I did a halfway decent job. After that, I decided I wasn’t doing it anymore. I was just growing it. I always wanted long hair and I had it when I was very little and then my mom cut it all off because, judging by my photos at the time, she hated me and wanted me to look hideous. Which I did.

My daughter prefers her hair a little shorter, and that’s fine with me. I’m not opposed to short hair in general. On me, I’d rather have long hair.

Also? My hair is really, really curly. If it were straight it would be down to my butt, I think. If it were short? I’d look like: Shirley Temple, The Haggard Years.

So yeah. I want to avoid that. Life is hard enough.