One:
My blog is going through some stuff right now.
I know that sounds cryptic. I can't help it. There are going to be some changes up in here.
Please be patient.
Two:
While all this crap is going on, I thought I might share some of my writing about...divorce.
I have mixed feelings on this, as I try to write about the more positive loads of crap in my life, but this? Has been weighing on me pretty heavily these days. Not sure why.
And I've never really blogged about it. Or the birth of my children or any of that. Okay, I don't remember most of what happened when my children were born. But the circumstances leading up to it? I haven't said much.
Not sure if I should.
On Friday someone at work was talking with me and somehow, it came out. A huge mess just fell out of my mouth. He was surprised. He said, "I never knew this about you".
And why would he? You know? It was all at least 10 years ago.
Still.
I can't help but feel like it's changed me. I can't help but feel like I need to get it out.
What do you think?
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34 comments:
Darling Chick?
Please go and edit this post to say.. "...divorce. (The one I already had, no earth shattering drop my readers hearts to their feet surprises coming up here)
'cause I had to read on to think you might be talking about big scary ugliness in your past and not that something really big and ugly is happening to you now.
OK.. deep breathing can help minor little freak outs your friends bring on.
So.. when you're asking what do you think, rhetorical question, or you really want to know if your readership is ready for you to get some unhappy stories out of your head and onto the page?
'cause yes, from what little you have written they are likely to be unhappy, ugly and "stuff like that should never happen to anyone, and certainly not someone as awesome as you Chick!" kinda stories.
That's ok.
If you are ready to put that out there for the your friends, readers and the unwashed masses of internet surfers then get writing.
Your regular readers already know how the story turned out.. the amazingness that is boy and girl child and the life you worked so hard to make. That makes reading about the past ugliness a little easier.
Dude. Don't DO that to a person! You scared me!
I say get it out. Therapy for the soul :)
I think you need to email me and tell me what's up with what is going on with the blog...now please.
You know from your own experiences how cathertic writing and talking it out can be. Write it out (here or in a notebook), talk it out (here or in therapy) but do whatever helps you get through it. There is no timeline on grief and divorce is like a death, there is definitely grief involved.
Just be careful what you want out here for the world to see. You know what I mean.
Let it out... this blog has been a great resource for you and if you think it'll help, share it.
Sometimes just saying it makes you feel better. And you have tons of supporters here, so what better place. Another thing, no one can expect happy ALL the time. It would be a little selfish of all of us readers to say we should only hear the good.
it can be very cleansing to get things off your chest.
I am all for getting stuff out... it is cleansing for your soul!
Hopefully the blog changes will be good.
I was worried to, at first, that you were talking about divorce as in something going on now.
But, now that I read the whole post, you can tell us anything, get it out if it'll make you feel better! :)
If you can't tell us, who can ya tell?
It's your blog....do whatever feels right to you. :)
Just go with your gut on what you share and don't share.
Divorce is ugly - no matter which way it's sliced. A minority manage to sail through it without acrimony, putting the kids first and all that jazz. But? I think most of us experience a lot of pain and upset. And each one of those people deal with that pain and upset in a myriad of ways.
It could be inspiring. I mean you've got two great kids now and a lovely husband (even if you sometimes imagine yourself extracting your foot from his arse from time to time).
;).
I hope that whatever you decide to do it helps you on your emotional journey. I know that sharing your story really opens you to everyone's opinion but we're all your friends here and we support you so do what's best for you.
I guess it depends on what you feel the need for...sharing it could be really cathartic...maybe. I've enjoyed putting past hurts into words, myself...it's weird...it makes them more real on the one hand, but less real in that it puts them firmly in the past. Kind of a surreal experience.
Oh lord. You scared me Chick. Number One, wtf is going on with your blog? It's still staying, right? It's not going anywhere is it? Our bloggy-firendship is so young, with so much life left in her! Please don't break up with her now!
Number two: You scared me to death. I thought you were going to say that you were divorcing Jason.
For the love of God, Chick.
You know that we are all here to support you, and care about you. if you want to share that part of yourself, then we are here to listen and care about you.
(patting hand) Now, honey, you just let it all out. And quit scaring your readers like that!
I mean, I almost had a heart attack (if I'd been drinking my coffee at the time of reading I'd have spewed all over my monitor, and that would not have been pretty!!) Divorce you mean as in the past, as opposed to divorce in the present? I know you said a year ago you weren't sure but now? You and Jason are okay. Right?
But also? If you don't feel comfortable? Don't feel like you have to share.
Even though we're dying to know, because well, we're all just a little bit curious. I mean, this blog thing allows us to indulge our voyeuristic tendencies in perfectly legal, non-creepy way.
We're here for you honey, if you care to share. We will listen in a totally non-judgemental manner. If you don't share, after that little teaser? Well we may just have to shake you 'til you tell! LOL
J/K. We who have given birth always love hearing others' birth stories. Even if they're scary and maybe sad. Obviously they had a good outcome, because you have BoyChild and GirlChild with you, all healthy.
It's your choice Chick. It is your space. Can you handle putting all that stuff out there for anyone who comes along to read? Really think about it first.
I've bared my soul and then some on my blog and from most of my regular readers I got support. There are many others who wrote on message boards that I clearly needed help or that I just needed to move on with my life. No real empathy there. I think I may have turned off some readers that just didn't want the downer too.
And I'm sure there were more who read and moved on and never left a comment or a reaction that I could find. I have no way of knowing if my story touched them in any way that was important or if it was all just for me.
You have to decide if its something you want to do for yourself, is what I'm trying to say. Because you never know what your readers will think or how they may respond (beyond those regulars that you can count on for support, of course).
But if you decide to do it. Know that at least one reader here will read with understanding and empathy.
If you think you'd be comfortable blogging about it, and telling everyone - then do it! But be comfortable with it. We are all here for you, and in the end, it might just make you feel better.
And um, what's up with the blog stuff you mention?
get all that ickiness out in the open! if you write it and it seems wrong, there's always a delete button!
You know you can dish to us. And, I'm about to get some changes, too. It's kinda scary making changes, isn't it?
I still feel silly for thinking that middle school influenced who I am today. Feeling burdened by events of 10 years ago is surely not easy and I am sure that it has changed you. As long as you are okay with whatever you post on your blog being permanent (in a sense as far as being out there in writing) and do not care who will read it, I say go ahead and let your readers help you share the burden!
My mom says "The heart does not run on calendar time." And Spark says that writing things through really does help to heal them. So, I vote yes. :-)
Everything you've been through (and you've been through a lot)has helped make you into the totally awesome person you are right now.
I started my blog, actually my wife started it for me, because my wife suggested I find a way to get things out of my system and help me remember certain things in my past that I had blocked out. She feels the only way I can get over certain things and move forward is to confront those things (by remembering, even if I don't want to), dealing with them, and moving on past them.
I hear you Chick, and I am on your team.
Blessings.
My personal opinion? You've been working toward whatever it is you feel the need to talk about for a long time. I think now that you want to talk about it, you're standing on this ledge looking out, afraid of what's going to happen. I think you're ready to make whatever leap this is that you feel you need to make.
To me? It feels like this is the natural progression of you, who you are and why you do what you do.
But if you're not ready? That's okay. One day you will be. You're working toward that point. I think you need to. I know you need to let it out, whatever it is. There is something keeping your wounds from healing ...
Or I could be full of crap and not know what the heck I'm talking about. One of the two.
blogs are cheaper than therapy. bring it.
what dawn224 said. And you have a Blog PLUS therapy -- now there's an unbeatable combo.
. . .all I knows is this. . .my husband sat down at dinner tonight (he cooked because of my "tender conditon" and all) (my boob hurts)
Anyway, he said, "So. . .that chick is gonna write about her divorce."
So, I kinda knew it before I came here.
You gotta love news-breaking husbands. Maybe this is what that Channel 10 guy's wife goes through, eh?
Love ya, baby!!
Chick-a-dee,
If you think sharing it here will help you in some way, you should do it. You know why I think that? Because it won't just help you. It will help other people too. I've told you, but I'm not sure you fully understand, how much your story helped carry me through mine.
And if people are negative, well, they don't get it, and they never will.
Do what makes you happy, because we all love you here no matter what. I'm all for cathartic writing.
Share as much or as little as you like. Whatever you decide will be perfect.
Bring it on, sister. We're here.
OK, I know I just got here today, so I really dont have a vote, but bring it!
Go ahead and purge:)
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