Sunday, August 30, 2009

So this is love.

I guess when I got married I had it figured out.

I mean, that's what I thought. I guess. It's been six years so I'm not positive of what I really thought then.

In fact, I think what I actually thought was that I loved him and I wanted to marry him. I didn't think anything about what we would do day-to-day. I really didn't think much beyond what I would do the next day, to be honest.

Today I heard a statistic that most marriages that end? Do so in the first two years. So I guess we're about three times ahead of the curve.

Except this morning. He was on my nerves.

Not really, I guess. He was okay. We weren't fighting and nothing was really wrong, he was just blah. And when he's blah? I tend to be blah too.

Plus yesterday we had a really long talk about my new book. It wasn't a bad talk, but it's really a good talk either. So I was probably pretty blah too.

This morning I was thinking about life and marriage and what exactly it takes to stay together and how to avoid stabbing him in the face when he gets like this. Because all of those are really important and some more than others this morning.

We sat together in the pew at church. Four of us, in a row. Jason, me, the Girl Child, and the Boy Child. At one point, the Boy Child looked a little green, got up from his seat and sprinted for the bathroom.

After a few minutes Jason got up to check on him.

Because, I guess, it's love.

Love isn't puking, of course, but sometimes...I guess it is.

And I guess it's not all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it's comfort and security and safety. And sometimes it's not writing certain things because it's private and between the two of you and sometimes it's letting go of some things because it's the right thing to do.

I'm learning what love is. I thought I knew, but I'm learning.


Melody said...

It is a long process to get from where we're at to where our parents are. But I think you two are headed in the right direction.

SJ said...

After almost 10 years of marriage I too am still figuring it out...

Anonymous said...

From the perspective of a single parent... a little comfort, safety and security would go a long way. Even having someone to occasionally run in and get a gallon of milk would be extremely appreciated. That said, unless it's a true partnership - I don't know if it would be worth it. That said, I lean toward thinking you all have a true partnership. And, I don't think that about many couples.

Anonymous said...

Great that you're trying to avoid stabbing him in the face.

And I am still figuring it out here, too.


Anonymous said...

Face-stabbing definitely not helpful. I suppose wedgies aren't either, huh? Yeah, who knew love had anything to do with vomit. Or moldy washing machines, basement floods or tires. Go figure.

Anonymous said...

Love is always evolving and changing. Hugs to all of you!

Priscilla said...


Steph the plumber said...

There is always something that needs building on.

You just need a sound foundation!

Kimberly said...

No words of wisdom from me, really. Looks like you're figuring it out just fine. Even having figured out that love can include blah is a big step. What amazes me is how one day can be blah, and the next day he can melt my heart all over again. It doesn't seem to make sense, but I guess it's not supposed to.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I think it's a learning process until the day we die. Like last week? I was ready to pack up for a No-tel Motel. I was done with the Ty-man. But we talked and got his interpretation and he got mine and we got each other and figured it out.

This wasn't the first time and I know it won't be the last.

Glad you're in it for the long haul, hon!