1) I have nothing to wear to the Southern Festival of Books. I mean nothing.
2) Moreover? I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear. Nor do I have a lot of funds to purchase something new.
3) Even more moreover? I have not made hotel reservations. Good. Gravy.
4) I also generally no plan whatsoever for what to do with my children during the Avon Walk. My parents will be around, but I have no idea what to do in Charlotte and no idea where to even start.
5) It's raining. I'm supposed to walk sixteen miles today. Technically I suppose I could go to the gym and walk on the treadmill but I might have to stab myself in the face if I walk sixteen miles while watching German Techno crap. Lord.
6) There is no Diet Pepsi in my home. CALL. SOMEBODY.
7) Someone recently introduced me to the phrase "lick my crack" and I haven't found nearly enough opportunities to use that in conversation.
8) I had this horrible realization the other day that I wrote a book. About my own life. And people have read it. And now they KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE. And it really freaked me out all over again.
9) I have at least thirty emails that need responses. The thought of responding makes my head hurt.
10) I'm behind. I'm sad. I'm pathetic. And I don't know how to change.
*Not an exhaustive list.