Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Engaged and Underage- Discuss.

As I've mentioned before, I grew up poor and we didn't have things like MTV or socks without holes in the toes, so since I'm an adult now I have good cable and lots and lots of socks. Warm ones.

I'm also interested in weddings. I'm not interested in weddings like some people are. You know like people who read wedding magazines every day since they were fourteen and book a church three years in advance when they don't have a boyfriend and things like that (which, hey, whatever floats your boat, it's just not for me). Mostly I'm interested in how weddings have seemed to blow up over the past few years and people are spending more and more money on them. It's fascinating to me. Probably because I used to be a credit counselor and this one time? This couple came in and they had been married for six months and they told me they had over $60,000 in credit card debt and she worked at Target and he worked for his dad. And I guess her parents had paid over $5000 of OTHER wedding expenses. And they wanted to buy a house. And her wedding dress cost more than my first car.

At the time I saw that young couple, Jason and I had just gotten married. We had a super small wedding. To me, it wasn't small enough. I really wanted he and I to flee to the courthouse and get married without anyone there. But he wanted a wedding and he was willing to plan everything. All I had to do was show up. Oh and buy my own dress, so I did that.

My dress cost $50 on eBay. We paid $300 for catering (which included the room, all the food, and three waiters in black and whites). I got my daughter a little yellow dress at JcPenney. I think it cost $24.99. My son and husband rented tuxedos (my son had the smallest size in the store, tried it on, looked in the mirror and proclaimed, "I look hot!") which I think cost us about $100 total. Oh and we had to get a license, which is a funny story for another time. I forget how much it cost. We hired a rent-a-preacher and gave him $150. He was the nicest man ever and performed a really beautiful ceremony.

The grand total had to be less than $1000. The wedding sucked, but the marriage has been pretty good so I guess it all balances out. The wedding didn't suck for lack of funds. It mostly just sucked because of the people there. But anyway.

I don't even know how I got off on this tangent. Basically, I wanted to talk about MTV's new show Engaged and Underage which premiered last night. I anticipated it eagerly and then ended up being...um, disappointed is the best way I can describe it. Disappointed and horrified.

I wanted to watch because I was genuinely interested in what would motivate people that young to get married. I know some people who have married between the ages of 18-22 and have successful marriages. My sister and her husband married when they were both 19 and have been happily married since 1989. My parents married at 17 (mom) and 19 (dad) and have been married since 1969. I have other friends who married somewhat young and have happy marriages. I guess I'm interested in how that happens and what is the motivating factor. I think with some of my friends, they just knew they wanted to be together. I think for others, it was things like, "He's going off to war." I am just interested because I got married at age twenty, for all the wrong reasons.

I was disappointed that this show didn't really go into great detail as to why this young couple was getting married. I mean, there were hints- the girl had an absent father (not that anyone would misconstrue the twenty-one year old guy she was marrying as a father figure) and they were both virgins and clearly wanted to have sex and not have Jesus be mad at them for it, but they didn't really say, not really.

The most disturbing part of the program was the mother of the groom. Sweet. Jesus. On. A. Bike.

Among the more disturbing things she and her son did:
1) Mom wanted them to take a photo of the bed they were going to spend their first night together in. Bride told her she thought that was weird. They went to look at the bed and breakfast and the mother called the groom on the way back and he went into great detail describing the bed, the room, and the fact that the other guests would be across the hall and probably not hear anything. The bride was appropriately mortified, yet did not scream at him, "I'M NOT MARRYING YOU, YOU HUGE FREAK!"
2) Bride and groom were going to live in a "house" which was in the backyard of the groom's parents home. The "house" was more like a little red shack (with a green porch! Rock!). Bride and groom were at the shack, fixing things up and mom calls groom on his cell phone. He says, "I can see you!" Bride is appropriately mortified and yet does not shout at the groom, "YOU ARE A HUGE FREAK AND IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL BEFORE I MARRY YOU!" She just kind of rolls her eyes and mutters under her breath, "You're so weird."
3) Mom has a big weepy, sobby fit at the wedding shower. Bride sits in her chair eating raw veggies looking non-plussed.
4) Groom's friends come to pick him up for "bachelor party" which involved him, for some unknown reason, dressing up in women's clothing (bra, thong) and purchasing condoms. Mom comes to car, leans in car window, and says something like, "Take good care of my son!" Sweet. Bertha.
5) Mom states to bride, "I'm going to sleep in the bed with groom tonight since I won't get to do it anymore once he marries you!" Bride looks alarmed. I throw up in my mouth a little. Bride says something like, "Um." instead of what she should have said which was, "Um, excuse me? Groom? You are a HUGE FREAK AND SO IS YOUR MOM AND I WILL NEVER MARRY YOU NOT EVEN IF YOU LOOKED LIKE BRAD FREAKIN' PITT WHICH YOU DO NOT."

So my disappointment in the show is due to the fact that the show should have really been called, "My mother in law is a huge freak." Because no matter how old that couple was? That mother was still just so wrong. I have a feeling her precious son could have been forty and she would have behaved in exactly the same manner.


M said...

Hmm. Maybe something like that will make me appreciate my MIL...HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Here's to hoping future episodes are more interesting. I'm not sure if I should watch. The concept of any young couple, getting married, and wanting MTV involved just sounds like disaster!

The sleep in bed thing sounds like some Josh's mom would try. You know she DOES love a son more than a mother should. She even told me so.

And your wedding, well, at least you looked absolutely amazing!

Anonymous said...

OMG that poor girl. Well, hopefully it'll be a good starter marriage for her.

Alpha Dude said...

Holy Crap!
That mother has some real issues. Maybe they'll deal with that on different "spin-off" show.

I agree with you. The quality of the marriage is so much more important than the wedding.
My wife and I got married in the prayer garden at our church. Our very good friend (our bible study leader and a licensed minister) married us. We were surrounded by a small group of people who meant, and still mean, a great deal to us both. It was quick, cheap and wonderful.

I married the truest friend I have ever known.

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

I thought the shack was green with a red porch. But, anyways, yeah, I watched it and was thinking all the same things you were. Hopefully that stupid girl will wise up before she ends up pregnant and stuck with those crazies forever!

Brown Eyed Girl said...



I think like you..I would have been disappointed in the fact that they don't get into WHY...although maybe they thought that interview would make them look even crazier than they did anyway?

I may have to see if Comcast puts it ON DEMAND and watch this one..just to laugh at the MIL.

I guess I should smile for my MIL's indifference in her son once and a while huh?

Ashley said...

OMG - that is too funny, I am going to have to watch it or tivo it or something. I too feel the same way about weddings. When me andJames got married ther was only 1 person on his side of the church

Dreamer said...

hahaha. ROFL! oh my gosh! wow. i got married a month after i turned 18, and i'll tell you what, i was motivated by love. i am so in love with my husband and so incredibly happy with him that i just couldn't let the opportunity pass us by. (he's 37 btw) that's about all that motivated me, and i wanted to have kids.

Anonymous said...

Now I have to tune in and catch the next episode of "Dude...Your Mama's a F-R-E-A-K!!" :)

Anonymous said...


SJINCO said...

Interesting to say the least, with a little bit of 'ewwww'. What is MTV doing these days? The shows that they come up with are just sad, plain sad. Either that or I'm getting old. Please don't tell me I'm getting old...

Bethany said...

How did I miss this?

I knew we were secret girlfriends for a reason- cheap weddings!

my4kids said...

That is just plain nuts! I can't believe that but it totally sounds made up you know like they feed them the lines to make them sound crazy? Anyway....
We were 18 when we got married, just 2 months after graduation. We married for love. We by the second month we were dating that we wanted to be married probably rushed it a little because he was going to school in another state and we couldn't see the whole long distance relationship thing, plus it was actually really good for us to be far away for the first years (you know no running to mommy when wifey is bitchy). Anyway ours was inexpensive as well. It was in my parents back yard under an old walnut tree (very pretty). My best friends dad was a minister and we were really close so he married us. Her brother was into photography and did the pictures, her other brother did the music and my mom and her mom did the food. My best friend was my maid of honor so the whole family was involved it was kinda cool. Kellys sister played the flute for me walking down the aisle. My dress was bought at a resale bridal shop for $100. Kelly bought a regular suit and a tasmanian devil tie to match the best man. We wanted to do the courthouse thing to but our parents wouldn't hear of it.

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to pretend that I'm working at college when I'm really on the internet reading back over all the stuff I've missed, only the pretence is being RUINED by the fact that I laughed my ass off reading this.