Thursday, March 22, 2007


So, as I've previously mentioned, our neighbors are pretty much all crackheads.

Every day, the children gather in the street to play. Why? I have no idea. Everyone on our street has both a front and a back yard. I was amazed to recently discover that one of the houses on the other side of the street has a freaking trampoline in the back. A trampoline people! Do you know how much green money I would have given for a trampoline when I was a kid? A lot!

Yet, they all play in the street.

Every day when I get home from work, I get to have a pinball adventure just trying to get to my home. Must dodge children! Must dodge dogs! Must dodge the twelve tons of crap children have laying in the road! Just the 1/8 of a mile trip to the end of the road leaves me exhausted.

Recently, some of the children have had the absolutely brilliant idea to take car ramps, set them in the street and use them do stunts on their bikes and skateboards. Despite the fact that the ambulance has been down our street two times recently, they still persist in doing this.

All of the parents apparently feel this is a really smart plan.

Jason usually works later than I do and he generally doesn't get home before it's dark outside. This week, however, the children are all on Spring Break and therefore home for the day. He comes home daily at lunch and on Tuesday he came home and found a skate ramp, two skateboards, and three bikes laying in the middle of the road. We live on a narrow street and there was absolutely no way around them without hitting him (which, of course, I said, "You should have just ran over the crap!" and he said, "I didn't want to hurt my new car." We have priorities people!).

He honked the horn and no one came out. So he got out of his car, went to the house of some of the children and asked their mother to ask them to come move their crap out of the road. Reluctantly, they did.

He came home that night around 6:30pm and all the crap was back in the road. The road is completely blocked and since we live on the end of a dead-end street there is literally no way around.

He went back to the house and asked again, politely if she could please ask her children not to leave their things in the middle of the street when they were done playing with them.

The woman, whose name I don't know so we'll call her Moronbreath, said:

"Okay, that's fine, but YOU need to start being more understanding."

Jason said, "Excuse me?"

Moronbreath said, "They are just young boys! You can't expect young boys not to leave their things in the middle of the street."

No, I'm serious. She really did say that.

Jason said, "Ma'am, I have a nine year old son and I assure you that he has never left anything in the street. Ever."

Moronbreath sighed, deeply, to the depths of her soul.

"Are you a Christian?" she asked.

"Yes," Jason replied.

"Well," she said. "Since you are a Christian, maybe you should have a Christian attitude."

Jason stood there in shock for a moment and finally told her, "It goes both ways."

He then left.

And came home and told me.

And I? Got furious.

Because excuse me? We're using JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR as a reason not to teach our children to behave? What?

I mean...what?

I mean, I think if Jesus had her phone number he would call her up and be all like,

"Hey, yeah. About that. If you are going to use my name like that? You might want to, you know, make your kids act right. Because, yeah. That's actually something I really want you to do."

We have driven around their piles of crap for over TWO YEARS NOW. Two YEARS people. We have not called the police. We have not picked up their crap and thrown it in the trash. My husband NICELY asked them to TAKE CARE OF THEIR OWN POSSESSIONS and they accuse him of not being a good Christian?

How about raising your children to be responsible citizens?
How about raising your children to value their possessions?
How about teaching your kids to FREAKING ACT RIGHT and not draw on other people's houses with magic markers and not throw rocks at cars, and to not think they don't have to get out of the middle of the STREET where people are trying to DRIVE because they don't feel like it?

Then you can preach to me about being a good Christian.

Talk about using the Lord's name in vain.


velocibadgergirl said...

Your stories make me scared to buy a house, because I'd never EVER make it two years in a neighborhood like yours without having some kind of mental breakdown. :P

Brown Eyed Girl said...

I would have marched down there and told Moronbreath a thing or two.

What in the really need to move.

Denise said...

Christ on a bike!!

HeatherAnn Fragglehead said...

Other people's kids have me so worked up today that I am fuming just reading this.

Jason is far more cool, collected, and diplomatic than I think I could be. I'd have walked out to the street, gathered up the crap, and taken it to the Salvation Army so that kids who would really value those things would be able to have them.

Anonymous said...

"Christ on a bike" from nailgirl24??!! HA Frickety Ha!! I LOVE it...

Anyway...I, too, have neighborhood punks...uh, I mean children...that use the street as their playground and leave bikes, ramps, bats, skateboards all over. Me, being the beyatch I am, asked once or twice for them to move their things. When the one punk flipped me the bird and told me to move it myself, I did...I drove over it.

When his idiot of a mother came knocking on my door to DEMAND I pay her for the damaged skateboard NOW, I told her when he learned to a) take care of his things and b) be respectful of others, I'd be happy to buy her punk ass kid a new skateboard, but if he was going to continue calling me names and flipping me the bird, I had no intentions of doing that. I then shut the door in her face.

Where was I? Oh yes....MOVE!! SELL NOW!!

Anonymous said...

When you list your house for sale try to make sure they are not home or are on vacation when you schedule potential buyers to look at your house. I think I would have to call the police and the roads commission and file a formal complaint.

Stephanie said...

Wow. That sounds exactly like my mother's neighbors. Of course, she isn't as diplomatic as you are. She grabbed the skate rails that were dropped in her yard inside and wouldn't give them back without an apology. Naturally, the boys drunk mother came over and began to yell at my mom. Honestly, people. Who taught these kids how to act??

Julie said...

If they leave their crap all over the street, and mom ok's it, imagine what the inside of their house must look like. I sense piles of crap everywhere.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I'm reminded of when Christ threw the money lenders out of the temple. Some good ole fashioned righteous indignation!

It is so sad, sick, and wrong, to equate being a Christian to being a doormat who should endure the behavior of the neighbourhood punks with patience and smiles.

I agree...move as soon as humanly possible, and try not to interact with potential buyers in case you lose your head and feel to warn them off.


Dreamer said...

i would've run it over.

and then made the mom pay for the damages to the car.


oh, and response to your comment: they don't have to, by law disclose the fact that your house what a crackhouse, or whatever, in georgia. only if you ask, and then they still don't have to tell you.

crap, huh?

Patiently waiting said...

Whoa, reading that made me mad! I can't believe that woman would stoop that low! Maybe someone should have told her this verse: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 By the way, I remembered the verse word for word, but had to cheat and look up it's location :-) I'm so glad I don't have to deal with "Moronbreath" and hopefully you will be moving soon and won't have to either :-)

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Wow, seriously, you and your husband have got to be the most patient people in the world! I would not have been able to hold my temper back on that crap.

Seriously, you can't expect children not to leave there things in the street?????? My freakin 3 year old stepdaughter knows that!!!!!!!!

Em said...

Honestly, your stories of this neighborhood would make a great movie!

SJINCO said...

Next time it happens your husband should just load the stuff up in his car and take it home with him. And you know, maybe keep it.

When my son refuses to pick up his toys when it's time to, I pull out the trash bag and load it up! He thinks I'm throwing the stuff away(which I don't) but what does he know. But I tell you what, he learned his lesson really quick. Maybe the boys on your street would learn their lesson too.

Oh, and hey. Tell the Mom that Jesus took the stuff. Why not?

PinkCat said...

Wow the freaking cheek of them. You tell them how it is. Good lord!!!

Take care xx

my4kids said...

Wow that is bad Chick. I have two boys and we don't let them leave things in the street. I don't let them leave it in the yard unless they are just running in the house for something. Kids need to learn how to pick up and be responsible for their things. I had a neighbor that we asked him to take the boys bikes when he saw them left out in the yard. He would keep them (we didn't tell them he had it) for a few days or so and when the boys got them back they learned their lesson.
Using God as a reason to not make your children behave? Bad moove on her part... bad move.

Alpha Dude said...

Here's another verse from Proverbs for you.....

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him.

That verse changed my son's life.

Happy house hunting.

frannie said...

wwJd? He would put a smack down on them! well, I don't know for sure, but I think it would be freakin' hilarious to see the big J come over and get all up in their grill and stuff- telling them to get their crap out of the road and stop messin' with his peeps! that's what I would do, if I were Jesus. (and the word Jesus in that sentence is pronounced with a Spanish twist like: haysuess)

I know- I'm weird. and I will be the tour guide in hell. byow- bring your own water.

ok- I'll stop now.

Jocelyn said...

That is so totally what Jesus would have said.

In Jesus' absence, call the cops. These neighbors are a public nuisance. If they pull the Christian card on you, it's time to strip off the gloves.

Better yet, drop a note into their mailbox with your blog address on it, and write, "Go to this site and read not only the posts but also the comments, bitch."

Summer said...

I agree with Jocelyn. If the mother doesn't want to do anything about it. Call the police and tell them the neighbours are being a nusiance. Maybe then, the mother will hopefully keep the junk off the road. What a bitch for not having any respect for the other drivers who live in the neighbourhood.

CPA Mom said...

SJ is right on target. Throw the stuff away and tell them Jesus took it. Holy Hannah, these people are idiots. There's a house for sale in my neighborhood...

Denise said...

HEY Chick, I have a surprise for you on my blog.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I think that anything on the street has obviously been abandoned and is meant for the trash pile.

Oh and tell her Jesus called, and he thinks she's a moron.

Shanilie said...

gurr, I can't help but feel furious even reading this post. I know those type of people all too well. I mean we're all human here.....and even if you guys did eventually rant and rave it would be alright especially since it keeps happening over and over again. And really, what Christian has the right to say whether another persons actions are right or wrong?! You will here me cheering over here when you do move :)

Kelly said...

OMg - I can't believe she actually said that?? Its sad what people use as an excuse these days! I mean seriously, "are you christian" what the heck does that solve???