Sunday, April 29, 2007

I never shut my mouth until it matters.

We went to eat dinner tonight at a restaurant on "the strip", which is a place where a lot of college students tend to hang out. Which normally doesn't bother me any more than being in any public place bothers me (which is a lot, but I can't be a hermit, so I go), but tonight it did.

A group of girls and one boy came in after us and they sat diagonally across from us. One of the girls began to talk, loudly, about black people.

I won't repeat what she was saying. It really wasn't nice. At all.

And did I jump up and tell her to go to hell and die?
Did I tell her that I was ashamed of her and her horrible attitude?
Did I say, "How would you feel if I said something moronic and stupid about your guy friend who is obviously a homosexual, even though he's totally in denial about it?"

No. I said nothing. I did nothing.

And now I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed of myself for doing nothing. I'm ashamed of myself for working for the past nine years teaching my children that you can't judge people based on the color of their skin or how much they weigh or how little or much money they have, and yet I let some little eighteen year old twit sit there and denigrate everything I've taught them and everything I believe and I didn't jump up and do something.

I suck.

Sometimes I just do a miserable job at being a decent human being.


Lizarita said...

HELLO!? You aren't that little skank's MOTHER. You've done YOUR job. You've taught your children what is right.
It's HER mother that should be feeling this way. Not you.
You can't save the world, sister. That's Superman's job.

julie said...

I've had times when I've wished I would've said something to horrible people. The thing is, when I HAVE said something, I've found that ignorant people tend to not listen anyway because that's just how they are. But it made me feel a lot better.

Alpha Dude said...

You set a good example for your children by NOT doing anything.
You kept your cool and maintained your composure.

Your children observed you using self-control, which is one of the fruits of the spirit. And that's a good thing.


Red P. Bucket said...

It could be worse, your words could have failed you while sitting in IHOP and realizing the gentleman(?) at the table across from you with the odd look on his face was playing with himself under the table. Hallmark does not prepare us for these things.

my4kids said...

Like alpha dude you probably set a better example of not doing anything. Talking to them if they were there though and why it bothered you would be okay though. But if you have been teaching them this all along they knew it was wrong anyway and you can be more assured they won't be the 18 year old twit someday.

alissa said...

If Margarita hadn't said what she said, I would have. Except she said it better.

In any case, we've all been in situations where we regret our actions (or lack of actions), but sadly chances are you will encounter a similar circumstance again and next time you can, and likely will, say something.

Don't beat yourself up over this.

Anonymous said...

I'm with's not YOUR job to tell this little beyatch that she's wrong. And, doing nothing IS the right thing. Your kids learned a lesson from that, too.

Ignorant people suck.

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Sometimes it's better not to say anything. Of course that little twit was wrong...very wrong. But would you rather explain to your kids how idiotic some people are or explain to them why mom got into an arguement with a teenager in a public place.

Julie said...

Chances are those little shits would have just laughed at you and not paid you any attention. Which is a sad thing. You were better off educating your own kids about the other kids inappropriate words if they could hear/asked you about.

Amy W said...

I agree with what everyone has said. It wouldn't have been worth it, and your kids know right from wrong by watching you, not those dumb kids. Keep up the good work!

Denise said...

Not to mention that you can never be too careful chick. Here In Ca I would have sooo wanted to spout off at those people and probably would have even gotten up to do it. Then my husband would remind me to sit down because you never know what could happen. Say the young kids leave first, then you and your family leave. You go to your car, and all of a sudden you have a mob surrounding you. see........ You can never be too careful. Sometimes it pays to keep our big mouths shut whether we like it or not.

Jhianna said...

I agree with, well pretty much everybody above.

Maybe telling your kids how the whole thing made you feel - that you didn't do something and feel you should have. Maybe that will help them for those times when they experience something that they think is wrong but don't have time or can't think of a way to confront it.

Most of the time when things like this happen (not that often) or like in the post above with the 35 year old knuckle-head, I'm just too shocked that someone is actually that rude/stupid/ignorant to respond.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I've had the same experience, and felt that same kind of awfulness after.

You -are- a decent human being, which is why you reacted the way you did. We've got decent nailed, babe. It's the step from decent to exemplary that's the hard part.

Although I'm not sure that telling her off would've been the right thing to do either. I find questions like this really confusing, to be honest.

SJINCO said...

Okay first of all you are a decent human being...the little twit you talk about? Is not.

Second of all you are teaching your kids great things, don't ever doubt that.

EE said...

That, girl, was a teachable moment for your kiddos...I'm with Alpha Dude!!!

CPA Mom said...

Your friends (above) are right. Alpha Dude hit the nail on the head. It was a teaching moment by telling them the girl was wrong and why. Losing your cool would have helped no one and might has escalated things. You DO NOT SUCK