Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Love and Hate


1) Water. I’ve been drinking 150 ounces a day, at least. I told myself that I have to drink at least 100 ounces before I can have my Diet Pepsi. Considering how much I love Diet Pepsi, this is a pretty impressive feat. The crazy part? I hardly want the Diet Pepsi anymore.

2) My Crocs. How did I ever survive without this particular footwear? They make flip-flops look like low-rent hookers! And, they keep my toes covered, so I don’t get in trouble when I wear them to work. And staying out of trouble is always good. Yes, they are Mary Janes! Thanks for asking!

3) The fact that my children go to the Billy Joe Edwards School of Karate. Okay, that isn’t the actually name of it, but the name of it is very, very, very, VERY similar to that. Isn’t that awesome? It’s in a strip mall and everything. God, I love being from the South.

4) Also? I love the fact that my preacher calls me “sister” or “princess”. I am a thirty-one year old woman and he calls me that. It makes me laugh hysterically. That man reminds me so much of my grandfather. It’s really weird. But I love him and I love that he’s not afraid to say crazy stuff. Like on Easter, when he said, “Okay, we’ll see some of you at Christmas then!” and I just laughed and laughed. Good times.

5) Thinking about getting a pedicure with my daughter and my sweetie-friend Dawn. My extraordinarily long toes and I need some pampering.


1) That my kids are getting so big, so fast. Yesterday, they were two. Today they are nine. Tomorrow they'll be getting married and having careers on Wall Street or something. What the crap.

2) Stupid people who come off an exit ramp, cut through two lanes of traffic, and come to a complete, dead stop in front of me so they can make a turn. Seriously. I had to stand on my brakes to avoid hitting an idiot such as this this morning. If you can’t make the turn without harming yourself and others you can really, literally go less than 10 feet down the road and turn right back onto the road you need to be on. Seriously, less than 10 feet. It’s not difficult, honestly. I don’t understand why people are willing to do physical harm to others because they HAVE TO TAKE THAT TURN RIGHT THAT SECOND or they HAVE TO GET OFF THAT EXIT. I mean, are you really afraid you will run out of exits? There is another one. Like, a mile away. You can take THAT one, go back ONE mile, and then take the one you need. It’s not rocket science.

3) My bra is just freaking killing me today. It’s making a really weird squeaky noise. Yeah. I don’t know either. I checked my boobs for evidence of a mouse and I got nothing.

4) I have a meeting at 3pm that’s kind of important and it’s going to be a big shouting match and people are going to behave poorly and I’m going to sit there and think, “To bad none of these people turned out right,” and be in a cranky, cranky mood for the rest of the day. Because I could be wrong, but it just doesn’t seem like we need to yell and scream at one another to get our points across.

5) Summer camp. My kids love summer camp, and they go to a great camp where they have lots of friends, but it makes me wish I could take the whole summer off and just hang out with them by the pool, subjecting my extraordinarily pale skin to damaging UV rays. Because tan fat looks better than white fat.

I'm kidding. I don't even try to tan my translucent self.


Denise said...

I'm with you, Tan fat does look better then white fat lol.

Amy W said...

I just bought myself a pair of those Crocs!! LOVE THEM. And Ashley wears hers all the time.

I can't wait to go get pedicures with my girls...but then there's that whole growing up too fast thing you talk about...

frannie said...

I used to take my nanny kids to get manicures and pedicures together--- they LOVED it! as did I, oh, as did I. 'cause there is really nothing better than not only someone else paying for your pedicure, but you getting *paid* to get said pedicure.

oh, I miss those pedicures--- I mean, those kids.

Stephanie said...

I agree with nailgirl, but instead of tanning, or (God forbid) the tanning cream, use the lotion. I use jergens and it's great. I get a subtle tan and it's sparkly!

Also, perhaps one of your underwires is coming out. I have that happen to me all the freaking time. Perhaps I should start buying my bras somewhere other than WalMart

Unknown said...

ok, you totally have the wrong attitude about #4 on your 'Hate' list. You should look at that meeting as great blogging potential. LOL

Anonymous said...

I love me a tan...but, I'm a chicken now with the sun and tanning beds. I'm with Stephanie and use lotions. Works great, no streaking and means I don't have to sweat my ass off in the sun/tanning bed :)

LOVE Crocs...LOVING your Mary Jane Crocs. :)

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

They have Mary Jane Crocs?? I want, I want! I'm so challenged when it comes to wearing shoes I can fall out the back of. And hiding my freakishly long toes is a huge must. =P

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

There is a tanning place here and the slogan is "Fat looks better tanned"!


Julie said...

I've been wanting a pair of those Mary Jane Crocs since last weekend when a girl in the neighborhood was wearing them. They look adorable. My oldest as "regular" Crocs and is now hitting me up for those Jibitz things to decorate them.

Anonymous said...

Come to my house. You can sit by the pool with your babies and I'll make you something lovely to drink while you get a tan.

Anonymous said...

OK, you and I are officially related, because I too have freakishly long toes. Sweetie Pie says I could play the piano with those suckers.

Jhianna said...

I'm with you on the tan fat and the translucent selfness. The lotions are great except that I end up getting this line across my shoulders where I can't reach. Tan front shoulder and weird wavy line leading to translucent back shoulders is just really odd looking :)

Oh, and yep on the gallons of water before the Diet Pepsi (caf free) and then not wanting it. Bah.

Dawn~a~Bon said...

Love those shoes. Love 'em! My sister has a pair and I'm plotting to thieve them.

Tan fat may look better than pale fat, but skin cancer looks awful on everyone.


My pedis are ready to be cured too!

Brown Eyed Girl said...

HEY--- I love my flip don't be calling me a hooker alright! Atleast not unless you're going to say it straight to my face.

Sorry about the bra issue too...I know exactly the squeaking you are talking about. I never found a mouse either!

Heathie said...

I had no idea they made Mary Jane Crocs! I've heard the wonders of Crocs but never tried any on because I'm not crazy about the look. But those Mary Janes are way too cute! I'll be heading to the shoe store now...

Aren't bad drivers the worst? The thing I'm most afraid of when I drive is other people.

Alpha Dude said...

Aww, c'mon, meetings can be fun. Sort of.

We had a "Lunch and Learn" today.
Dark conference room, bad graphics, monotone instructor we could barely hear over the phone speaker, and we had to bring our own lunch.

They should rename it "Educational Nap".

Anonymous said...

Yeah, about the kids growing up too fast, I'm right there with you. I now have visions of grandbabies in my future! And my kids were just babies like last week! You made some really good points, especially about the drivers.

la bellina mammina said...

but I love my flip flops and I have quite a few of them....:-(

My dearest sister does my pedicure but now that she's 8 months pregnant, maybe I'll have to depend on my flip flops cuz I don't think my feet will fit into proper shoes if I let my toenails grow!!

SJINCO said...

CROCS rock! I'm glad to see that they are finally making their way to the east coast, because everyone should own a pair of crocs!

And yes, kids grow up

Unknown said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! A mouse in your bra.

Well, I'm always fondling myself, but that's to check which boob feels heavier, and, thus, which one to offer up first to hungry boy.

Unknown said...

PS Thank you for putting me on your blogroll. I feel extra special now!

BTW, do you know you have 1,636 hits on your profile page? Damn, girl!

EE said...

Thanks for the water tip. I'm going to start it tomorrow.
You aren't going to hide your pedicure under those crocs, are you?

CPA Mom said...

Water. I must drink more. The stuff of life and all. But (insert whine) I want my Cherry Coke Zero!

Crocs. I have none. I may need to get some.

Karate. I love being from the South too.

I have a client who calls me Angel. And his girlfriend. I have another client that calls me Sugar and a third one who calls me Baby. They crack my shit up. Must be a generational thing.

Pedicures, love them. Can't wait for Eeyore to go with me.

Growing children. Sucks. 'Nuf said.

Stupid people. Going to put up a whole post about it.

Bra. Can't help you. No mouse? No problem.

Meeting. Sounds like they aren't the boss at home so need to be at work. KWIM?

Summper camp? Tan skin? I'll stay lily white as a good Southern Lady should, thank you. Much better than streaks from the lotion and skin cancer from anything else.

Kelly said...

OH CROCS!!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM!! I have 4 pairs, I wear them practically everyday! I have yet to purchase the mary janes or the flipflops? Do you have them..recommend them...are they just as comfortable?? Let me know I have been seriously contemplating the purchase!